I6 year old caring for 2 year old

[Rosebel]

I have been offered a new job which I really want. I have childcare in place 4 days a week but nursery has no space on Thursday until late August.
My job starts in July by which time my eldest will have finished her GCSEs and I'm thinking of asking her to take care of toddler on Thursday until nursery has space.
She absolutely loves her little brother and he adores her but is it asking too much? It would be a long day from about 7:15 to around 4:30.
Once her sister (14)finishes school she'd be able to help too but is it too much to ask?
I know my sister used to look after me during the holidays when our parents were working but I wasn't 2.
YABU it's too much to ask
YANBU it's fine

& those mn who say you shouldn't - really?Its their siblings & their dm is working & her income supports them - op is only talking of one day a week & is paying her & isn't forcing her & its short term. How many of us started work at 16 (& some younger) & might have had to pay for their house keeping? We infantilise young adults too much these days & it doesn't do them any favours. I wonder if these mn don't expect these adolescents help in house work when their dm work either?

I think it’s totally fine. She’ll probably be delighted to have the cash! I babysat a 2,4 and 6 year old for 5 hour stretches at her age and plenty of teenagers have their own babies and toddlers to care for 24/7.

Glad I'm not the only person who thought this. She is legally old enough to look after the child unsupervised.

i wouldnt, toddlers are hard work and unpredictable- they need constant supervision and also tiring out.
I dont think many 16yr olds could handle it- i actually think leaving them with a baby would be better and safer than a toddler.

Sounds fine. I was a babysitter/ nanny at 16 for a 2 yo.
As a parent now of a 2yo, I think I did a fantastic job at 16. Was certainly capable and a lot of fun for the kid tbh.
If 16 yo is responsible and confident and happy to do it then yeah, perfect solution

I'd agree it's absolutely fine to ask, but it's equally fine for your daughter to refuse. She may welcome the extra cash, the responsibility, some time with her baby brother, or she may have other plans (a summer job, holiday/days out with friends etc) that this would not fit comfortably around. Or she may just not want the responsibility. Do you have a Plan B? Our local Facebook group is a great source for pretty much everything including personal recommendations for ad hoc or regular babysitting (another teen might be able to step in if your daughter didn't want to). Do you have a similar group where you live?

Good luck with your new job 🙂

It sounds like you're taking a pragmatic approach and will respect her decision which is great. However, what will you do if she says yes but then after a couple of times decides this isn't for her - what back up do you have in place?

Thinking slightly further ahead.....GCSE results day is a Thursday....your DD will probably want to be at school/with her friends to celebrate their results and start firming up their next steps. She can't do this with a toddler in tow.

I think the time between the end of exams and results day is a precious time for teens. They have no/few obligations and can enjoy a free and relaxed summer. Personally I'd not ask (and I had a similar age gap between DS and DD) - I encouraged him to enjoy the summer break, to socialise and relax, to holiday and to find a job (one he chose as opposed to feeling obligated to do ) to foster his independence.

Get a grip it's one day a week!

We did this with my DD who was 17 one summer and my 4 year old from 8-6pm . Paid £40/1 day per week and left a list of activities they could do as well as easy meals. Re friends, if she messaged or told me in advance I was happy 1 or 2 of her close girls group came round or went for a walk with them. Think she missed out on a few small friends things then there was 1 day in August she was desperate to go to and “requested annual leave” so got a babysitter for just the day. We definitely framed it as an opportunity to show responsibility which meant we were more confident letting her go to parties, nights out as well as group holidays. The 4 year old is about 12 now with a great relationship with her sister!

Perhaps you could do a mix of her and taking annual leave for those Thursdays? You'd need to anyway for results day. If you're happy with the 2yo potentially watching a lot of TV if she's finding it too much, I think it would be a great earner for her.

I would do this (and pay her). My DD age 15 babysits frequently and would be totally fine doing this.

I looked after my brother all summer from the age of 14 and him being 12 months. I loved every second of it and we are incredibly close to this day. We had a wonderful time and my friends loved him and were very respectful regarding his age - no swearing etc.

16 is old enough to be married and have a child of their own!

I was babysitting from the age of 14 inc overnights and weekend days and was absolutely fine.

If she is comfortable with it (when you ask make sure she knows she can say no) then I don't see a problem

My daughter (now 21) also did a lot of babysitting as a teen and looked after cousins etc

I've also a lot of experience with teens in voluntary roles she'll very likely be absolutely fine.

Honestly the infantilising of teens and young adults these days drives me nuts! It's not doing them or society any favours!

I had my own baby at that age! So I think it’s silly to act like she’s be incapable of it. It’s more about if she’s willing. I think it very much depends on how she feels about it. If it was me I’d present it very much as not an expectation and offer some money as a payment for her services, and if she accepts I’d make it very clear how completely grateful you are.

It's absolutely fine for 16 year old to help out one day a week. I would pay her though. Our DD14 babysits our DD12 and DS10 about once a month and we pay her.

Of course its fine if she agrees, sounds like they have a lovely relationship. I was 16 when my youngest brother was born I was No 1 and he was no 6, I was always looking after one or other of them and perfectly capable of doing so.

It is all down to how you know ur DD. If you do decide to go for it then make sure she has a list of numbers to contact in emergency. Also is there anyone close by that could also be an emergency. ?

doing a trail run is a good idea

Its fine. My friends teenagers babysit regularly for me. Her eldest started at 16 (at the time my children were 7, 4 and 2) and has just turned 18. She likes to go out herself now so when she's unable to babysit, her 15 year old sister helps me out. I actually used to sign things and write statements for the oldest teens college course (child care) so it was beneficial for both of us.

Its is one day a week, I think she will be fine. I would ask them to stay at home, as I would worry about the 2yr old being out and running off. Definitely pay her and leave a picnic behind so they can sit outside in the garden. I don't see a problem at all, especially if she is a sensible girl and enjoys spending time with him anyway.

I wouldn't be comfortable with her friends coming over - and they get distracted etc, she would need to approach it as a paid job and take good care of him.

1 day a week and getting paid for it is absolutely fine. I spent the summer helping a family with their 5 year old when I was 15 and loved it. My 16 year old would also enjoy it, and even better if she was getting paid. My eldest at 15/16 used to look after a friend's children many times - picking them up from school and waking them home and staying with them until their parents came home. Usually only 2-3 hours but a couple of times it was 6-7 hours. He thought it was easy money!

I wouldn't inflict my two year old on anyone regardless of age because she's intense, unpredictable and an absolute liability even in the house. But my older two would of been fine at this age with a responsible 16 year old. Unless your two year old has managed to pull light fittings off the ceiling and dug a hole through the plaster so deep you thought you'd come through to next door like mine, I'd say you're good.

@Rosebel as long as you pay her at least £45 (minimum wage for 16 yo) then that’s fine. I wouldn’t pay your 14 yo because by the time she comes home from school, there’s probably only an hour max until you’re home.

I was perfectly capable of that at age 16 and eager to earn money doing a real job. If she is a sensible reliable girl that would be a great solution ( and an excellent addition to her CV).

I just asked my 16yo (home on GCSE study leave) and she'd be more than happy to do this