I6 year old caring for 2 year old

[Rosebel]

I have been offered a new job which I really want. I have childcare in place 4 days a week but nursery has no space on Thursday until late August.
My job starts in July by which time my eldest will have finished her GCSEs and I'm thinking of asking her to take care of toddler on Thursday until nursery has space.
She absolutely loves her little brother and he adores her but is it asking too much? It would be a long day from about 7:15 to around 4:30.
Once her sister (14)finishes school she'd be able to help too but is it too much to ask?
I know my sister used to look after me during the holidays when our parents were working but I wasn't 2.
YABU it's too much to ask
YANBU it's fine

If your DD16 is okay with it, then why not.

I think YANBU especially as it's only one day a week and it's only for a few weeks, particularly if they already have a close relationship like you stated

Depends on the child. I wouldn't trust my 18 year old to look after my 3 year old, but I'd trust my 14 year old.

At 16 there are plenty of teenagers with babies themselves. Most cope well. As long as she's willing and rewarded for it, I'd think it'd be ok, but only you know your daughter.

This. Absolutely fine, this is how we grew up and we are so close and would still do anything for each other. MN is another universe where you would be accused of exploiting her 🙄. If she is happy to do so, and you compensate her then I see no issue. It's only for a month and a bit.

As long as you pay her and also please give her emotional support, you haven't shown any reasons why not, other than she may say no thanks Mum.
I was married and raising my own children at that age (without pay or emotional support) and sadly quite a lot of girls I knew thought it must be a great situation to be in. Teenagers seem wiser and better informed now, but giving a responsible girl the opportunity to recognize the choices that have to be made, even when the whole thing's been made easy and can be ended, might not be a bad thing.

It's fine as long as she is happy with it, good opportunity to earn a bit of cash, spend time with her sibling and help you out.

It's absolutely fine if she is happy to do it and her little brother would be happy to be with her. Do you have family, friends or neighbours she could reach in an emergency? Also it would be a good idea if she has some knowledge of first aid.

If she is happy with the arrangement and you pay her, then this seems ok.

16yo should be fine.

I know of a 16 yo mum who was too young to supervise her own child in a softplay but that is amongst the bonkers inconsistent age rules we have in the UK.

I'd pay her if you can but I don't think you need to pay as much as the NMW for 16yos any more than you'd pay an au-pair the NMW. If she was out working full-time on NMW you'd probably in turn be looking for dig money from her and she'd have expenses getting to and from work and potentially she'd be paying tax on it.

I think you need to a) give her the choice and make sure she’s definitely comfortable with it and b) offer to pay her as you would a childminder. But I don’t see any reason why a 16-year-old couldn’t look after a toddler. You know your daughter and whether she’s responsible and patient enough for the task.

Absolutely fine to ask her. Personally I’d leave a list of activities especially given you’re paying her. So I’d expect them to go to the park/feed the ducks/pick easy favoured local activity of choice at some point during the day not just tv all day. Make it more of a summer job with expectations beyond keep him alive and fed! But not so onerous she decides not to bother.

And I’d have a discussion about other expectations too - so for eg no taking him for a drive in older friends cars, what are the ground rules for her having friends over at the same time, that sort of thing.

It's fine as long as you pay her. What happens when she wants to go out with friends, what will they do all day etc?

sounds great, make sure you give her the option so say no and both of you treat it as a job; she commits to it and you pay for it
a lot of 16 year olds would babysit for neighbours or family friends at that age - not that different really

I nannied a 4 yo and 2yo for 3 weeks after my GCSEs at 16, my sister is 9 years younger than me so I’d grown up looking after her and had been looking after her one day a week since being 14 so I was confident. Sounds like your DD could do it and glad you are paying her, she will be shattered.

best way to ensure no early babies too, totally put me off wanting to have kids for years (not that she was difficult just it was relentless!!!)

My dd helped me at that age & I paid her - it teaches them several things: being paid for work & the responsibility that entails and realism about having children.
As long she is asked & paid - after all many 16 years olds work during the holidays & sometimes they are taken advantage of which you won't

I used to look after my 3 year old Sister when I was 16. If she can manage the lunches and what not I'm sure she will be fine ask her.

It depends on your toddler and your 16yr old. I was very sensible and out working full time at 16 and feel if she’s like me then not a problem. Plus if you’re paying her and ensuring meals etc. are all sorted and she’s happy to do it then I see no problem. You’ve clearly thought hard and it’s not going to be a permanent arrangement. Good luck in your new job x

Absolutely fine in terms of responsibility but you need to make sure you pay her and cover any expenses like bus fares, lunch, trips to soft play etc.

I would only pay your 14yo if they’re taking over from the 16yo. Otherwise who is actually responsible for him - having two of them muddies the waters.

You should also offer money for the odd activity thing so she can take him out as she may not want to be stuck at home all day, and it certainly shouldn’t cost her anything to entertain him.

Just remember that GCSE results day is a Thursday so she may need to go into school to collect them, visit a college or similar to sign up for A levels the same day, and will probably want to be out celebrating (hopefully) with mates, so if that is one of the days you may need alternative arrangements for that day.

Yes fine. As pps have said 16 year olds can legally have their own kids, can babysit, and can enter paid employment/training for childcare jobs so this is just a safer (as in a known environment with a known child and easily accessible help if needed) version of that.

I'm going to ask her today how she feels about it. At least that way if she says no I'll hopefully have time to find another alternative. I won't push her to do it if she doesn't want to because I want her to want to do it not feel like she's being made to, if that makes sense. My gut feeling is she'll probably want to especially as it'll mean extra money but it has to be her choice.
We have one neighbour we know quite well who would probably keep an eye on things if need be and MIL only lives 10 minutes walk away.
If she agrees we'll have a chat about what things she can do with him and routine, although she pretty much knows it all already.

I think it's fine so long as you pay her.

I've paid a similar-age teenager to come and look after my then 2 yo in my house while I was working. Slightly different as I was wfh and so on hand if there were any problems, but then I didn't know this teenager (and whether they were sensible and what they could cope with) as well as you know your DD.

Yes I would ask her to help. It is quite a long day but as it is once a week, not a long term commitment and she is responsible absolutely ok.

I think it's fine, perfect solution.