Difference between being tight and being unable to afford stuff

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Sometimes I feel like it's not always clear, especially when you have friends on higher salaries, it's easy to come across as stingy but it's different when you genuinely can't afford the same things.
A guy in the past used to call me a cheapskate just because I liked charity shops etc. However I was only on 17k a year.
I do worry about this sometimes

that guy sounds mean. You know what you can afford and what you can’t, stick to your budget and try not to worry too much about what people think. Anyone worth worrying about would surely understand that everyone’s circumstances are different.

If you’d budget is less than your friends just be careful not to accept too many things from then if you can’t do the same eg don’t accept drinks in rounds of drinks if you’re not planning on buying a round back, if they offer just say thanks but no thanks tonight I’d rather just get my own.

providing you’re not taking things from others I can’t see how it’s any of their business and anyone who comments is a bit nasty really.

There's a difference between being tight and having to be careful with money.

Why does it worry you?

Being tight is having money left over from bills etc and not spending it.

Being unable to afford anything is having no money left or a stonking big overdraft/debt that you have to use.

I like charity shops cos I like my money, hope this helps. I'm similarly frugal.

I don’t know why you ‘worry’ about it. Plenty of well off people buy in charity shops for ethical reasons, or because they like to save money.
Do you have anxiety ?

I think the difference is if you have money but buy cheap gifts, duck out of paying for rounds, leave a meal party early without leaving enough to cover your food, drink others wine but don't chip in for payment, turn up at parties without a bottle etc etc then THAT'S tight.
Otah if you're genuinely skint and your mates know your situation then it's v different. My friends all earn more than me and I'm honest with them so if they suggest going out/spa/weekend away etc and I say I can't afford it they a) understand or b) say we really want you there and will pay towards it (which makes me feel a bit rubbish tbh but it's lovely that they still value me and our friendship)
As an aside, I don't think charity shops have the same stigma they once had. Now it's the ultimate in recycling and you can pick up some lovely stuff eg Boden dresses for kids for a fraction of the original cost.
Tight is steaming off an unfranked postage stamp when you can easily afford to buy one.

I have a friend who would spend lots of money every week in our local leisure centre buying her kids hot chocolates while we waited for our other kids in swimming classes and such like.
I'd take a drink and a small snack with us every week. The amount of comments over the years I had "I can lend you some money if you're short" or similar.
Her money priorities and mine are different, because I hate wasting my money on coffee and vending machines and I'd rather save it to take the kids somewhere nice.
But at the end of the month she's complaining that she is buying shopping on her credit card and I've only known her go on holiday once since I've known her.

Also I've had friends who have loads of money and are unrealistic about what they think I can afford.

Both are annoying but I think that people just have different priorities. It can be embarrassing but you can call them out on it. Depends on the situation.

That guy was a twat.

Is it just that one guy or are there other people in your life who say nasty things to you?

Tell them to naff off!

Being tight is having money left over from bills etc and not spending it

Why?

What if there isn't anything you need/want to buy?

Plus you might be better off saving it for a rainy day, or if you want/need something later, or to save up for something more expensive, or to invest/put into a pension.

But OP, definitely don't worry what others think. You do you. As long as you aren't taking advantage of other people, there's nothing wrong with saying that you can't afford something, or would rather spend the money on something else, or save it so it's available to you later.

Not so long ago, someone posted that a lot of us are going to have to get used to saying that we can't afford something or we don't think it's worth the money.

Because otherwise, a lot of people are going to find themselves in debt, or struggling to afford all their basic essentials, let alone have money left over to spend how they choose to.

as others have said its a relative thing. My favourite example though is DP, when I first met him, would take me out for a meal, cocktails etc and always pick up the bill but park much further out of town than he needed too cos it was free instead of a couple of quid to park. I gently took the mick until he got the hint because I actually found it really unattractive - like he wanted to be seen to be really generous and gentlemanly in the bar/ restaurant but didn't care about me walking in the rain or heels or whatever. He worked it out after a few times of me absolutely insisting we park closer and paying for the car park if it was a problem. Tight is inconveniencing or scabbing off someone else when you could but won't pay.

Buying from charity shops isn't tight, it's ethical. I shop in charity shops and I'm not struggling for money.

Being "tight" in my opinion is stuff like making your kids sit in a freezing cold house when you can afford to put the heating on.

I need more coffee, what I mean is if you have money leftover that could you easily let go, but claim you're skint, then that's tight. I save money on payday so the odd hundred or so at the end of the month is like my 'pocket money' to spend on treats or save according to my priorities.

Every penny of ours is allocated at pay day towards bills, food, petrol, weekends, holidays, Xmas and so on.
I make sure money is allocated for fun.

I know far far richer people who don't allocate their money at all and worry deeply About money. Eg people sat In fully paid off million pound houses, with large income and yet constantly talking about money and how they saved money ln the cheap food they have given us etc.

Having being brought up with picnics and packed lunches being the norm for days out, swimming, etc etc (we'd sometimes get an ice cream or chips, but mostly it was food from home/supermarket) I find the people who always buy the food at attractions fascinating, especially those who complain about the cost, but it doesn't seem to occur to them that they could take food with them for much less.

Do they like spending a lot of money for what is usually rubbish food that they have to queue for ages to get? What goes through their minds?

I've just posted on another thread:

Typical cost of a sandwich, crisps/cake and drink at an attraction for a family of 4 around £30, possibly more, it could easily be a fiver for a sandwich, £2 for a drink and £1.50 for a bag of crisps.

Same food but bought as supermarket meal deals on the way there £12-15

Make sandwiches at home and drinks and snacks from multipacks, £5 or so in total.

Obviously some people can afford the higher prices, or there could be circumstances that make taking your own food impractical, but for most, surely you'd know that it's likely to be poor value for money to buy food while there and take it with you where possible?

Barbra sometime and usually the female wants a break from making food on. Day out .
We do a mix of both... and take our own but maybe get a hot chocolate out or cake.

Because we have money 💰 specifically set aside for days out/weekends however we don't stress about it too much.

Barbra sometime and usually the female wants a break from making food on. Day out .
We do a mix of both... and take our own but maybe get a hot chocolate out or cake.

Because we have money 💰 specifically set aside for days out/weekends however we don't stress about it too much.

Money is a tricky thing unless you have a lot because you have to prioritise spending and everyone has different priorities. But it is not easy to say to a friend "I can't come out for dinner because I'd rather buy a new jumper this week". So you say to the friend sorry I can't afford dinner, they say oh no worries, my treat. Then they see you in your posh new jumper and think you are being tight not paying for dinner...

I'm very aware that I can afford nice things, but not ALL the nice things, and other people might not agree with my budget / spending decisions. That's where judgement comes in. I actually fell out with a friend after I didn't go to her 40th birthday weekend away as I said I couldn't afford it, then she came to my house and saw I had a new TV. She was all "ohh but I thought you had no money" - yeh cos I spent it all on the TV 😂

I shop in charity shops because I don't want to spend £40 on something I can get for £6 (this example is the dress I bought yesterday!), and because the environmental impact of new things is high.

I often decline to buy things that I could buy because I want to save money.

It can be hard to precisely define the line between frugal and stingy, but I consider myself frugal and am happy with that - importantly I have lots of fun and don't feel I a short of anything (have been properly skint in the past, that was very hard going). I watch some people spending and wonder what is the point, I would never say anything to a friend because it is their money, their choice.

DD1 likes buying clothes from charity shops - I can well afford to buy her new clothes. There are also environmentally friendly, anti-fast fashion reasons for shopping there. We also do our main shop at Aldi. The amount of money I would have to pay for a weekly shop for five people elsewhere is horrific, even though we could afford it. You wouldn't find me steaming off postage stamps and not paying for rounds though, quibbling over bills or not stumping up my share. You would find me trying my best not to waste food, planning meals and cooking from scratch, trying to repair things where possible instead of throwing them away or immediately replacing, and generally trying not to add to landfill. And turning the thermostat down, wearing a jumper and keeping the heat in.There's being tight and there's trying not to be wasteful or just throwing money away where you don't want to be spending it.

I love charity shops and I'm not tight or doing it because I can't afford anything else.
I CHOOSE charity shops because
a) I can indulge my shopping habit in an environmentally friendly way
b) My money goes to a good case
c) I love a good bargain

That guy is an arsehole.

Being tight is having money left over from bills etc and not spending it.
I don't think this is tight. There are unexpected expenses you should put money away for if you can. I'd been called tight in this situation, I was just careful as I was on a very low income and afraid of ending up living week to week.

Agreed OP, there is a difference.
Well I'm tight and proud of it - I like to put a lot into savings. I treat my DH and mum plenty, and always pay my own way, but if I can save a tenner somewhere....sign me up!

I am comfortably off and have a single friend that I like to meet with at least once a month. She was picking the restaurants and after a while I realised that I was often spending £50 just for me for an average meal with little alcohol because she likes posh chain restaurants with expensive steaks.
Recently I've been picking less expensive ethnic restaurants or quirky places with a lower tag so I don't feel I have to order the cheapest thing on the menu.
Incidentally one of the reasons I have less money is because a lot of my earnings go to savings and pension provision ( we are in our 50s). I'd rather be able to meet up and eat out modestly and retire at 60, than keep on working in my 60s to pay for wagyu beef.

I suppose its harder with acquantances but with close friends we are all just honest with each other....eg. "sorry I can't do X I've got to send off for the DCs new passports this month" or "I'd love to but we are saving up at the moment".

I think there's an element of not wanting to waste money if you don't believe what you're buying is worth the price. So being seen as 'tight' but not wanting to be ripped off so not bothering to buy.

Re days out and theme parks, I know that the food can be overpriced and definitely not value for money but I spend it because I CBA to lug a picnic around
and if I'm spending on a day out I factor that in.