‘Don’t you dare let the other children win Freddie!’

[Pinotgrigio87]

My childhood friend and I have taken different paths but we are in the same career.

She was brought up in a perfect household - Mum and Dad both high flying professionals, she was sent to the school an hour away as they did not want her mixing with us town folk. For some reason I made the cut. I am from a single parent family and we were on income support - we were ‘rough’ by anyones standards. We both studied the same degree at University.

She married her child hood sweetheart from School in a beautiful ceremony when we were mid 20’s; I struggled on with a failed engagement and abusive relationship. We are now mid thirties - I am childfree and never married. She is married and three children. I cannot shake the feeling that she feels I am a complete and utter joke as I live alone with my cat. We went on a weekend away with 10 other woman and the humble bragging and competitiveness about the children was insufferable.

At one point my frIend said she attended the local sports day of her little boy. She actually said

‘He kept winning everything it was just so stressful to watch and he (aged 5) was able to have the empathy to realise this was upsetting the other children. He came to me and asked mummy should I let the other kids win? I told him under no circumstances should he let the other children win and to continue doing as he was doing’. I was like - he is 5, let him do what he wants at sports day. Who cares?

she snapped back ‘you wouldnt know what it was like to be a mother’. I said nothing more and left her to it.

Mothers of Mumsnet - AIBU to feel she should not have snapped at me like that? Or do I really have no voice in these situations as a childless woman?

Of course she shouldn't have snapped at you like that! She sounds like an arrogant snob!

Mums who look down on women without children boil my blood!!!!

She sounds like an absolute bellend.

1. I can see how it comes across that way. But. It is HER and her family who continually bring up my childhood - not them. The first thing she said to me when I arrived at the cottage was ‘look at you all sex and city pulling up in your convertible, dont forget your humble roots now’. I mean come on?
2. we have been friends for a long time; if I met her now I would never be friends with her no.
3. it is entirely factual.

I barely see her - this was a celebration of another friend who I adore; and she was there.

My dc went to a very sporting and competitive prep

the 5 year olds did 1 running race and egg and spoons

no competition

which school was it?

If this is true, she sounds insufferable and I’m not sure why you are friends with her.

It was a primary school in the outskirts of a very affluent area. Honestly I thought it would be sack races etc too, egg and spoon - it probably was to be fair.

It might be true that this is the way she told it, but sports day definitely didn't happen like that. No sports day for 5yos has ever been set up so the same child can win "everything".

Well thats the story she told - I 100% assure you.

I can understand both sides, but sometimes you have to be a leader to inspire others to do their best or improve themselves.

In that case I would say if it was my dc, win as much as possible, yes be humble about the win, and help others improve their methods, (obviously when older to teach) but keep winning.

Christ her reply was brutal. And she sounds like a cock.

she sounds like an utter tit and a mean one at that.

why do you have this woman in your life? One of the greatest things I ever learnt was that you don’t need to keep people in your life because of ‘history’.

If this is real she's a massive liar.

She’s a dick OP. I hope you have some much nicer friends in your life.

She sounds like an idiot.

Having said that, while theoretically of course people without dc can have opinions on child rearing, it's also true that many of those opinions are irritatingly un realistic. Certainly, one of my favourite type of thread on here is when we swap stories of dickish things we said or thought pre children!

well there you go - as a CF woman I had no idea about sports day so perhaps she did have a point.

her entire family make a point of ensuring I remember ‘my roots’ when I meet them and she continues to do the same. Its all very tiresome now, just a bore really. I think they all need to let it go. They are the only people in my life who will say ‘remember where your from’. I do regularly thank you. I loved my rough and tumble childhood.

I would actually just laugh at her. She is making that sports day story up, for who knows what reasons of her own, and she just sounds like a try-hard numpty. I bet that deep down, she wishes she had a more free and easy life like yours. Maybe things are not as rosy in her perfect life as she'd like them to be.

I'm an utter bitch though, so I'd take pains to drop the word 'mumsy ' into every conversation. I suspect she'd hate that.

the humble bragging and competitiveness about the children was insufferable.

Sounds like she’s not the only one partial to a bit of humble bragging, op!

The first thing she said to me when I arrived at the cottage was ‘look at you all sex and city pulling up in your convertible, dont forget your humble roots now’. I mean come on?

So glad didn't have to type this too!

Mothers of Mumsnet - AIBU to feel she should not have snapped at me like that? Or do I really have no voice in these situations as a childless woman?

So sad @Pinotgrigio87 just remember, When there's no one else, look inside yourself.
Like your oldest friend, just trust the voice withinThen you'll find the strength that will guide your way.
Maybe not like your oldest friend, don't think you like each other!

You are certainly entitled to call out a twatty mother and her God awful child, whether you have kids or not!!

Fair point well made.

YANBU OP, she sounds awful! If she (and her family) are always making a point about you needing to 'remember where you came from' that sounds to me as if you're doing rather well for yourself and hence they (in a rather bitter way) feel the need to put you in your place. It's says so much more about them than you.

I'd also place money on your friend being incredibly jealous of your child-free lifestyle. Being married by your mid 20s and having 3 kids is the dream to some people, but not always all that exciting or fulfilling in reality. In my experience if someone is determined to make you feel 'less than' in some way, it's usually a sign that their life is not quite as wonderful as they'd like you to think it is.