‘Don’t you dare let the other children win Freddie!’

[Pinotgrigio87]

My childhood friend and I have taken different paths but we are in the same career.

She was brought up in a perfect household - Mum and Dad both high flying professionals, she was sent to the school an hour away as they did not want her mixing with us town folk. For some reason I made the cut. I am from a single parent family and we were on income support - we were ‘rough’ by anyones standards. We both studied the same degree at University.

She married her child hood sweetheart from School in a beautiful ceremony when we were mid 20’s; I struggled on with a failed engagement and abusive relationship. We are now mid thirties - I am childfree and never married. She is married and three children. I cannot shake the feeling that she feels I am a complete and utter joke as I live alone with my cat. We went on a weekend away with 10 other woman and the humble bragging and competitiveness about the children was insufferable.

At one point my frIend said she attended the local sports day of her little boy. She actually said

‘He kept winning everything it was just so stressful to watch and he (aged 5) was able to have the empathy to realise this was upsetting the other children. He came to me and asked mummy should I let the other kids win? I told him under no circumstances should he let the other children win and to continue doing as he was doing’. I was like - he is 5, let him do what he wants at sports day. Who cares?

she snapped back ‘you wouldnt know what it was like to be a mother’. I said nothing more and left her to it.

Mothers of Mumsnet - AIBU to feel she should not have snapped at me like that? Or do I really have no voice in these situations as a childless woman?

So seriously, why are you friends with her? Just don't bother, I can't see what the point is for you at all.

The issue is - I could now be her boss. I out earn here four fold. The dad just cannot believe it. He is just gobsmacked that ‘someone like me’ has ‘beaten’ his children. He says as much with a drink in him and having it being someone who he would have preferred his precious children to never have socialised with (I would only bring her down) is salt in the wound. Of note their Son was in the year above me at the same University and failed his exams so never graduated. I didnt care but I think they do. It is just getting a bit old now in fairness - we are years away from our childhood. Its interested and complex nontheless.

Yeah, no 5 year old "wins everything" at a sports day at that age.
Neither do they run up to mummy saying "Should I let others win"
What a load of bullshit

I said I was going on holiday myself (a specific type) and her immediate reply was ‘I did that before I had kids’. It just seems like its always a competition with them.

OP, it seems you were kept around by this family so they would always have someone their daughter grew up better than and as a back up if all her snobby friends cut her off.
To be honest I’d probably try and drop in how far you’ve come and being it’s a lot further than her you actually know more. So will wear whatever you like.

The only time I find it unacceptable to comment on other peoples children is when it’s said in a “I would never let a/my child do that” when they’ve no idea of the whole situation and that’s from people with or without children.

Most of us have been involved in sports days through our own childhood so can have an opinion, whether people agree with it or not. But I do agree that they must always try their best at them and give lots of encouragement to everyone, no matter where they place. So it’s a very positive day.

You and your dcat sound more like the sort I would prefer to spend time with...

Thanks - its netflix nicotine wine and the cat for me ❤️

This with bells on.

Remind her that her parents were high flyers and yet she's in the same career as you, so she should actually be doing better than you. She has failed in life.

Bitch deserves taken down a peg or 300.

All the backstory and your jealousy or whatever it is have absolutely no relationship to your AIBU. You need to get over it.

Mothers of Mumsnet - AIBU to feel she should not have snapped at me like that? Or do I really have no voice in these situations as a childless woman? no YANBU.

Well I think thats where her and particularly the dads issue comes from. I am doing ‘better’ than all three of his privately educated - avoid the chavs - give them the best of life - DC and I honestly just do not think they have it in them to just turn around and say - fair fucking play.

Why? Seriously? Why would you do this?
I'd just get over it and accept she is oddly competitive and also rude.

It has a bit to do witn her constant digs.

Just stop hanging round with her. She sounds awful.

OP I can’t stand one upmanship people. I find something derogatory to say about myself, then let them say how much better they are and move onto a neutral subject. They don’t deserve to know any good or proper news about me anyway! I keep them at arms length.

Tbf I am a bit like this

Oh well, thats the drip feed of the yesr, isn't it?! Of COURSE they're bloody jealous of you...

Fwiw, I'm about to go and buy a (second hand) convertible as a present to myself. I would love people to make bitchy comments about it.

She has no problem being rude to op. She should have no issue hearing something rude back.

Which kind are you getting @PonyPatter44 ?

I’m not sure why you are referring to her as your friend when you clearly hate her?

Perhaps she values different things than you? You are (rightly) proud of your degree and career progress, she is proud of her 5 year olds sporting prowess (so funny if you’d EVER seen a KS1 sports day) and his thoughtfulness.

fwiw she doesn’t sound much fun and her father sounds grim. Childhood friends are sometimes best left in childhood.

Well yeah but it's just childish and weird to make this such an issue. Just ignore her.

MX-5. I've coveted one since I was about 25...I'm finally treating myself to one. I DESERVE a mid-life crisis sports car, dammit!

What have you got, @Pinotgrigio87 ?

Could do, but better and more fun to get rid of someone who you hate by insulting them at the same time, especially when they've spent their entire life insulting you. I wouldn't let them get away with that without at least one insult thrown back. Then crack on with ignoring the bitch.

Fair enough. Whatever floats your boat I guess.