Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed that DH eats his food as if he’s in a TV advert.

109 replies

TheresaLeafy · 05/06/2022 21:38

An El Paso advert.

All exaggerated movements. Eyebrows raised and eyes rolled. Fork pulled from mouth with a smack and with gusto.

I know he’s trying to show his appreciation.

But we’re not on TV.

OP posts:
YetAnotherNameChange111 · 06/06/2022 09:00

@Adventurine That was so well written - hilarious! He must be the stuff of anecdotes dreams for the staff 😁

Adventurine · 06/06/2022 09:03

@Hoppinggreen you need to start exclaiming “Zoinks!!” or “Jinkies!” every time new food is approaching his mouth.

stuntbubbles · 06/06/2022 09:06

Actually, having said DP isn’t irritating, you’ve reminded me of his habit of picking up a serving bowl and pushing around the contents back and forth with the back of the spoon before serving himself. Does it with everything from guacamole to hummus to salad. Makes me want to yell “It’s already fucking stirred!” Especially irritating when I’ve done “fancy” cooking for dinner parties or whatever; like hummus with the top swirled and topped with olive oil and a bit of paprika: I dread him being first at it and PUSHING at it with the spoon, and always the back of the spoon. Whhhhhhhy? Just spoon some on your plate!

Always comes with commentary too: “What’s this? Guacamole? Nice.” Of course it’s fucking guacamole, it’s a bowl of green guacamole-looking stuff on a table filled with Mexican food, it’s not bloody mushy peas, Peter Mandelson. And it WAS nice until you started back-spooning it!

Aaaaand breathe. That feels better.

pinkyredrose · 06/06/2022 09:06

Sumtimesiamgreen · 05/06/2022 22:12

Lol 😂. Record him and play it back to him . That’ll prob be the end of the it.

Definitely this!

Cranefliesthinkthecarroofiswater · 06/06/2022 09:12

My brother is a performance eater, always has been so I'm used to it now but it's still strange. He'll moan and groan though a meal and regularly whip the napkin across his mouth in a very exaggerated way while loudly saying 'Mmm!'. If he's truly enjoyed the meal he might even lick the plate. There was one occasion that sticks in my mind. We cooked steak and he tore into it with such enthusiasm it wouldn't have surprised me if he'd just taken it off the plate and eaten it under the table, like a dog. That time, he was also digging his fork into the butter and slathering it on the steak, at which point OH said 'Steady on!' and he calmed down a bit.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 06/06/2022 09:12

My dh does this but only when he has cooked!! Nothing like a bit of self appreciation!!

DrManhattan · 06/06/2022 09:19

Urghh. How unattractive.

Notanotheruser111 · 06/06/2022 09:38

ArcheryAnnie · 06/06/2022 08:45

I have another relative that eats like a man dying in the desert. I've had dogs with severe resource guarding issues with better table manners than him

@StooOrangeyForCrows is your relative here the youngest in a large family, by any chance? I am ashamed to say that I am like this. When I serve dinner for me and my son, my son (an only child) is still at the "arranging his cutlery before eating" stage when I (youngest in my family) am already scraping my plate. I have only once in my life met someone who eats faster than me. (I am not proud of it!)

Ooooh I am also the youngest in a large family and I inhale food, much to my shame.

I had 3 teenage brothers and we were all very active, if you didn’t eat fast you could ended up hungry

TheLadyofShalott1 · 06/06/2022 10:40

Apart from THAT scene in "When Harry met Sally", I absolutely hate any sounds that adults make while eating that are anywhere near the sounds that their - or anyone else's - partner might conceivably make whilst having sex.

It is bad enough if my DH makes any sort of sounds when we are eating alone, but if we are in a group - related or not, but even worse if they are related to me - and someone makes those sounds, particularly the wet slurping type of sounds, then I just want the ground to open up and swallow me (sorry, no pun intended), as I am so embarrassed thinking that it has made the rest of the group squirm in their seats, whilst imagining the person "Mmming and Ahhhing" making those sounds while giving or receiving oral sex!

My own DH is an open mouthed chomper. I can only eat with him if we have music on, or are watching TV, or if we are in some sort of noisy environment. After many years together I have only recently plucked up enough courage to ask him to please close his mouth while he is chewing chewing gum. I have had to remind him several times, but he does seem to be getting the idea at last.

Again whilst eating on our own, I have said "oh, I can see the inside of your bellybutton" - unfortunately that doesn't seem to be working, so I might have to say in either a much more serious voice "I can see the inside of your bellybutton, and the mushed up contents of your stomach, and it is not a pleasant sight", or say in a much more Mumsnetty manor "FFS, you have been driving me, and more importantly, anyone else who has to eat with you, slightly insane. It is revolting hearing you, and seeing into your mouth whilst it has a mixture of mushy food slicked around it, so please either eat politely, or eat on your own.

Mangogogogo · 06/06/2022 11:10

as someone who’s mother eats smacking her lips and getting food all over her Face Id be glad of this!

once or twice I’ve had food so good that I’ve made funny mmmm noises. They shock me and we laugh so much about it cos I can’t help it 😂
i don’t do it with a Monday night spag Bol though

Cranefliesthinkthecarroofiswater · 06/06/2022 12:04

TheLadyofShalott1 · 06/06/2022 10:40

Apart from THAT scene in "When Harry met Sally", I absolutely hate any sounds that adults make while eating that are anywhere near the sounds that their - or anyone else's - partner might conceivably make whilst having sex.

It is bad enough if my DH makes any sort of sounds when we are eating alone, but if we are in a group - related or not, but even worse if they are related to me - and someone makes those sounds, particularly the wet slurping type of sounds, then I just want the ground to open up and swallow me (sorry, no pun intended), as I am so embarrassed thinking that it has made the rest of the group squirm in their seats, whilst imagining the person "Mmming and Ahhhing" making those sounds while giving or receiving oral sex!

My own DH is an open mouthed chomper. I can only eat with him if we have music on, or are watching TV, or if we are in some sort of noisy environment. After many years together I have only recently plucked up enough courage to ask him to please close his mouth while he is chewing chewing gum. I have had to remind him several times, but he does seem to be getting the idea at last.

Again whilst eating on our own, I have said "oh, I can see the inside of your bellybutton" - unfortunately that doesn't seem to be working, so I might have to say in either a much more serious voice "I can see the inside of your bellybutton, and the mushed up contents of your stomach, and it is not a pleasant sight", or say in a much more Mumsnetty manor "FFS, you have been driving me, and more importantly, anyone else who has to eat with you, slightly insane. It is revolting hearing you, and seeing into your mouth whilst it has a mixture of mushy food slicked around it, so please either eat politely, or eat on your own.

This, from 'Miss Congeniality' -

'I was distracted by the half masticated cow rolling around in your wide open trap'

TheDogsMother · 06/06/2022 12:35

@Adventurine Your post had me weeping with laughter.

WooNoodle · 06/06/2022 12:36

stuntbubbles · 06/06/2022 09:06

Actually, having said DP isn’t irritating, you’ve reminded me of his habit of picking up a serving bowl and pushing around the contents back and forth with the back of the spoon before serving himself. Does it with everything from guacamole to hummus to salad. Makes me want to yell “It’s already fucking stirred!” Especially irritating when I’ve done “fancy” cooking for dinner parties or whatever; like hummus with the top swirled and topped with olive oil and a bit of paprika: I dread him being first at it and PUSHING at it with the spoon, and always the back of the spoon. Whhhhhhhy? Just spoon some on your plate!

Always comes with commentary too: “What’s this? Guacamole? Nice.” Of course it’s fucking guacamole, it’s a bowl of green guacamole-looking stuff on a table filled with Mexican food, it’s not bloody mushy peas, Peter Mandelson. And it WAS nice until you started back-spooning it!

Aaaaand breathe. That feels better.

Omg. Remove the spoons from this beast!

glamosaurus · 06/06/2022 14:35

JHC just reading your OP gives me the rage, I couldn't bear to witness that.

Divorce the bastard at once.

ArcheryAnnie · 06/06/2022 15:15

stuntbubbles · 06/06/2022 09:06

Actually, having said DP isn’t irritating, you’ve reminded me of his habit of picking up a serving bowl and pushing around the contents back and forth with the back of the spoon before serving himself. Does it with everything from guacamole to hummus to salad. Makes me want to yell “It’s already fucking stirred!” Especially irritating when I’ve done “fancy” cooking for dinner parties or whatever; like hummus with the top swirled and topped with olive oil and a bit of paprika: I dread him being first at it and PUSHING at it with the spoon, and always the back of the spoon. Whhhhhhhy? Just spoon some on your plate!

Always comes with commentary too: “What’s this? Guacamole? Nice.” Of course it’s fucking guacamole, it’s a bowl of green guacamole-looking stuff on a table filled with Mexican food, it’s not bloody mushy peas, Peter Mandelson. And it WAS nice until you started back-spooning it!

Aaaaand breathe. That feels better.

This is priceless. I'd read a restaurant column you wrote, @stuntbubbles , as long as the main focus was eavesdropping on the other diners.

Floydthebarber · 06/06/2022 15:24

Dh did this years ago. I can't say I really noticed until we moved in together. Lots of appreciative humming noises while chewing. Drove me mad and it took a long time of gently telling him how annoying it was before it stopped. Now dd1 has started doing it!

"This looks lovely"
"Dinner was really good, thank you" That is appreciation enough.
Not: "Mmmmmmmmmmmm" with every bloody bite!

Floydthebarber · 06/06/2022 15:27

stuntbubbles 'backspooning' Grin

Choccyp1g · 06/06/2022 15:51

If you pour boiling water onto coffee (really coffee but I think instant too?) it does something chemical which raises cholesterol. Sounds mad but my verifiable genius older brother was telling me just a week ago.
You should let the water cool slightly, and pouring from height will help this.

Or you can just wait a few minutes after the kettle has boiled.

MissPicky · 06/06/2022 15:56

My DSS had a friend who cut up food into equal bits, so if a pizza it had to be cut in hald, then half again etc etc, then he had to eat around the plate.... so peas, then potatoes, vegetables. It was mesmerising to watch. It was also done in a sort of slow motion action. I used to want to shout 'just eat it' !!

goldfinchonthelawn · 06/06/2022 16:00

SunflowerGardens · 05/06/2022 23:34

Yes mine does that. Uses all the saucepans, a jug, a mixing bowl, the griddle and 5 little bowls (one to hold each ingredient in the style of a tv chef) to make something simple like pesto pasta.

When DH does that 5 little bowls and every pan in the house mullarkey I tell him I'll wash up one pan and the rest is all his. When I cook, there's one pan to wash up (OK, sometimes two) but I don't put every ingredient in a separate bowl.

lightisnotwhite · 06/06/2022 16:44

MissPicky · 06/06/2022 15:56

My DSS had a friend who cut up food into equal bits, so if a pizza it had to be cut in hald, then half again etc etc, then he had to eat around the plate.... so peas, then potatoes, vegetables. It was mesmerising to watch. It was also done in a sort of slow motion action. I used to want to shout 'just eat it' !!

Bother.
This was going to be the one thread that would unite MN in agreement of annoying people without a single mention of mental health conditions and how we to be more understanding.

Kerrrmieee · 06/06/2022 16:52

Whatever happened to "yum yum, cat's bum"?

Hmm just me then 🤣

TheresaLeafy · 06/06/2022 18:16

It is definitely an audience thing. If DH is at the breakfast bar and I am doing something else then he eats perfectly normally, but if I catch his eye he will raise his eyebrows and smack his fork out of his mouth as if it was a conductor’s baton.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 06/06/2022 18:35

lightisnotwhite · 06/06/2022 16:44

Bother.
This was going to be the one thread that would unite MN in agreement of annoying people without a single mention of mental health conditions and how we to be more understanding.

Where has the OP of that post mentioned a mental health condition? I read it and it resonated with me as I do similar.

Nine equidistant/symmetrical blobs of jam on a piece of toast is not strange in my world...

That tolerance door swings both ways.

WingingItSince1973 · 06/06/2022 19:09

My dh used to come in and do an appreciative long whistle when dinner was dished up. Used to grate on me and I felt bad saying please don't do that but I had to in the end 🤣