I FUCKING HATE MYSELF

[Tourettes123]

Yes I am aware I only ranted yesterday.

but aibu to hate myself?

I have severe tourettes and I screamed the nword (multiple times) at a black person today.

FUCK

I fucking hate tourettes and myself. They started crying, even when I was trying to explain, with various expletives ticced among my explaining.

I’m just a crazy nut bag, clearly. Why the fuck does this always happen to me.

i fucking hate myself,

I always upset people, I don’t mean to but it always fucking happens.

Nothing but sympathy from me. It is not your fault at all and Tourette’s must be unbelievably hard to live with.

society is build for neurotypical brains. But with increased awareness and understanding then I hope those with Tourette’s and other neurodiversities will be more accepted.

You’re actions were not intentional - you did nothing wrong. Please do not beat yourself up.

So did you give this person a card?

As a black person myself - please shut up. You’re making her feel so much more worse.

Sorry this happened OP. We know you didn’t do this on purspose - continue doing what you’re doing and showing the card. Hopefully people will understand

my message was for @DysonSphere

@Tourettes123 how old are you if you don't mind saying?

Fuck that’s hard. Sorry OP. I was shouted at by a Tourette’s sufferer, I’m fat and he couldn’t stop shouting lard arse repeatedly! 😳 he apologised profusely and I managed to laugh it off with him which he was grateful for. It’s not your fault, I know that doesn’t help you and how you feel but remember, if you were a bad person you wouldn’t give two shits about this, the fact you feel so badly means you’re a good person who cares about others. 💐

Oh gosh op, you poor thing. I’m sure you are a lovely person and I’m so sorry. This is maybe a ridiculous idea but could you print a business card (or similar) explaining you have Tourettes so you can give it to someone if you end up in such a horrible situation again? 💐

OP I feel your pain. I suffer tics both verbal and gesturing. Whilst my verbal tics aren't normally offensive my hand tics can be. I once had to have a week of uni because I was making gun shooting signals (there had just been a big incident in the US and I was worried i'd upset someone).

Whilst mine aren't tourettes I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. There are times in my life where it is limiting. BIG HUGE virtual hugs.

Sorry, have just read the thread and seen others suggesting the same!

Brown person here, I would not blame nor judge a person who had tourettes saying the n word because I know it is not their intention to be derogatory.

Sorry you feel so bad OP but you shouldn't hate yourself for it, be kind to yourself.

It's not an illness, and she doesn't have responsibility to anyone else!

The poster already apologised so no need to tell her to shut up.

How often does this happen, OP?

My concern would be, card or no card, you're going to get assaulted.

the only thing is medication that hardly works. I’m already on one of medications they use but it doesn’t do anything for the tics, unfortunately.

@Tourettes123 It sounds like there are other medications they can try, or maybe a different dose. Tourettes is treatable, at least to some extent. Please go back to your doctor so they can try something different, and keep going back till they find what best works for you.

And I can only imagine what it's like, although I have some disabilities that effect me similarly in a slight way. But please try not to hate yourself- you have a medical condition that you currently can't 100% control. x

Could you write your own cards?

Get some flash cards and write something in your own words that explains how you feel - rather than something generic and medical. Then carry them.

I think if this happened to me but the person handed me a card and it was hand written explaining how they felt I would be able to get past anything that was said and understand why it had happened xx

Don’t hate yourself OP, educate people ♥️♥️ That person might go home and research Tourette’s and learn a lot from it. Word is slowly spreading in my opinion and that’s exactly what’s needed.
I’m sorry today sucked for you.

It's not an illness

It is an illness but if it helps op if she doesn't see it as an illness, I guess that's ok.

@Tourettes123 Maybe seeing it as a neurological condition would help you forgive yourself, as it emphasises to you that it's not your fault. That's how it helps me if I accept that I have ADHD/bipolar which are medical conditions I can't entirely control. But whatever helps you. x Also seeing it as a medical condition means that you can work with professionals to try and improve your symptoms.

Apparently there are also some therapies that can help. It's definitely worth talking to your doctor/consultant. And if they're crap, change to another one.

It might take the sting out of it a bit but it's still going to hurt

Don’t hate yourself, you have a very misunderstood and hard to manage illness.
Just found this on Amazon - they have silicone bracelets too.
❤️xx❤️
smile.amazon.co.uk/Tourettes-Awareness-Medical-Emergency-Contact/dp/B09D3TLR2M/ref=sr_1_15?crid=1SLAQ3TOYVV2S&keywords=i+have+tourettes+bracelet&qid=1654452060&sprefix=I+have+tourettes%2Caps%2C133&sr=8-15

As a disabled person myself, don't attack people who get it wrong. Don't ask for help if you are just going to attack people. Language varies, even disabled people themselves have different preferences. I say disabled, others say illness, some say impairment, some say condition, some say illness. Get over yourselves. Most people don't mean to cause upset.

I’m not sure whether you find this helps or not. There was a young man on holiday who had Either autism or Tourette’s (sorry I can’t remember which) but he wore a hi-vis jacket stating his condition on it and said please be patient with me. That way he didn’t have to hand out cards as the condition was stated in bold text - very visible. Not sure whether you would find this helpful or not.

Are you racist? Sorry I don't know much about turretes but if it comes out your mouth you're thinking it? Is that correct?
Apologies if I have that wrong.

It might be worth noting that screeching extremely offensive expletives at someone means they don't stand around long enough to be handed a card. I know I wouldn't be very accepting of someone trying to hand me anything in that situation.
Some people would be scared to death, most especially a poc being racially abused. They have every right to not hang around for an explanation.

Don't hate yourself, even if the person was upset at the time it might have just been overwhelming for them in the moment and it might be linked to a very personal memory, or they might not know about tourettes yet. There's been times when I've been really upset even though I really didn't want to be. I've wanted to answer someone clearly, calmly and confidently but I've just blubbed instead, you might have just been the catalyst for some other emotions that day. You know that you didn't intend for that to happen and that's what is important

Wow, that sounds difficult.

I don't think this would help with the tourettes but have you looked in to self-compassion ?

work book