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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry at boyfriend?

58 replies

godsavethegin · 05/06/2022 16:59

Thursday I went away with my boyfriend to Liverpool.
It was meant to be a romantic weekend away.
Anyway we were sat outside in Liverpool in a pub beer garden enjoying the sunshine.
A few guys sat next to us on the table as it was busy.
Then a few more joined the table.
He was chatting away to them and we stayed there with them for 5 hours.
I asked could we have 1 more drink with them then do our own thing ...he said we are all having fun (I wasn't )
Then we went to a nightclub with them.
I wasn't happy.
He kept saying "what's wrong?"
"You not having fun?"

We got back to the hotel about 1am and I wasn't happy and we ended up arguing.
Was I wrong ?
Aibu ?
I explained my point of view and he's response
"I was relaxed and having fun,we were together what's the issues "

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 05/06/2022 17:01

I'd be quickly getting rid and moving on. He's a twat.

restedbutexhausted · 05/06/2022 17:03

I would've just buggered off and done my own thing like sleeping 🤣

But yes he was out of line. Seems like he cares very little whether or not you were enjoying yourself.

What's he usually like? Has he done things without regard for your feelings before?

You need to be able to compromise with each other equally on how you spend time together. Do you feel like you're always doing things he wants?

snalian · 05/06/2022 17:04

If the idea was a romantic weekend away then, no, YANBU at all. He has put the chance of a boys night out above your special time. That's dickish in the extreme.

MajorCarolDanvers · 05/06/2022 17:05

You waited till 1am to explain you were not happy.

He was thoughtless and you expected him to read your mind.

Sounds like you are not able to effectively communicate.

Palavah · 05/06/2022 17:07

When you suggested having 1 more drink with them and then moving on, did you make it clear that you weren't having fun?

Original poster
godsavethegin · 05/06/2022 17:09

I kept saying this is meant to be our weekend away
He just kept saying "don't ruin the weekend"

OP posts:
MintJulia · 05/06/2022 17:11

I'd have got a cab back to the hotel, ordered room service and done my own thing.

Your bf put his own enjoyment before yours on a romantic weekend. What is he like on a normal weekend? Is he worth the angst?

cushioncovers · 05/06/2022 17:12

Did he know the other men ?

Original poster
godsavethegin · 05/06/2022 17:14

@cushioncovers no they were just random people who came and sat with us

OP posts:
Whatsonmymindgrapes · 05/06/2022 17:14

Is he one that just chases the party?

Original poster
godsavethegin · 05/06/2022 17:16

He loves talking to anyone
He will honestly chat to anyone

OP posts:
cushioncovers · 05/06/2022 17:18

In that case then I think he was being selfish and thoughtless. Yanbu to be pissed off.

Needanotherholidayasap · 05/06/2022 17:20

He has shown you don't mean as much to him as you thought.
Get rid.

Doginthewindow · 05/06/2022 17:20

godsavethegin · 05/06/2022 17:16

He loves talking to anyone
He will honestly chat to anyone

Except to you?

alwaysmovingforwards · 05/06/2022 17:48

Why didn't you make your point by leaving to go and do your own thing?

He would have either followed you or stayed with them.
By just tacking along until 1am but being unhappy would have sent mixed messages imo.

Mummybud · 05/06/2022 17:50

I’m sorry OP, but this sounds like a case of “he’s just not that into you”.

billy1966 · 05/06/2022 17:59

Move on OP.

He's rude and not into you.

SunshineAndFizz · 05/06/2022 18:03

Urgh. I'd be furious and we'd have argued much sooner than 1am.

Doesn't sound like a keeper if I'm honest, especially if he doesn't think anything is wrong with preferring the company of a random group of lads to you.

AngelinaFangelina · 05/06/2022 18:05

I'd have left and gone back to the hotel; not a chance in hell I'd have gone on to a nightclub.
Dump him. You aren't suited, he sounds like he's not that bothered.

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/06/2022 18:07

There's a certain type of bloke who wants a woman around for sex and housework but not for friendship, fun and sociability. They want other bloke for that.

Is yours one of these?

NegativeNelly · 05/06/2022 18:10

It depends if he's done this before it could be that he thought you were having fun too as you didn't really communicate with him while you were out. Yes we'd all like to think that men should just know these things but they think differently to us. If you went off back to the hotel or stood your ground I bet he would have gone about it differently after

restedbutexhausted · 05/06/2022 18:13

@NegativeNelly I see the point that she could have communicated better, but on the other hand, when are we going to stop making these allowances for men and saying "oh that's just how they are".

They went away for a romantic weekend and he treated her badly. He must have a vastly different definition of romantic than most people.

Original poster
godsavethegin · 05/06/2022 18:25

I would hope he is into me as we have just bought a house together Blush

OP posts:
MagicTurtle · 05/06/2022 18:28

Ditch him OP. He sounds like a thoughtless insensitive loser.

Thesefeetaremadeforwalking · 05/06/2022 18:40

OP, If he thinks that 5 hours boozing with random strangers is a 'romantic weekend away' then he needs his head testing.

I find it hard to believe this is the first time he's side-lined you in favour of ale.

Whatever possessed you to buy a house with this drunk ???