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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sulking over sex?

82 replies

tranquilrain · 05/06/2022 16:30

DP and I had just started having sex when DS (not his child) came in unexpectedly from waking up from a nap. We heard him coming.

DS had woken up in a bad mood and was having a tantrum and being generally unreasonable. It took a few minutes to calm him and he said he wanted to try and sleep again (he hadn't napped for long). Put him down and went back in to the bedroom.

We went to continue having sex but I said I wasn't in the mood. DP said okay but immediately became cold. His car was elsewhere and he had somewhere to be so we got in the car and he didn't say a word to me whilst driving.

When I dropped him off he said he didn't want to see me for the rest of the day (we don't like together) as he won't be over "it" yet.

I asked him what was wrong over text and this is what he said:

^And I know you say it’s a weird pressure thing to do as well, but if you were really horny and I wasn’t myself, I would give you head or any form to give you a orgasm that wasn’t from sex.
You want(ed)me to stop wanking but knowing I’m really horny as id expressed, then you’re no longer horny and uninterested in how I’m feeling.
I myself offer you head all the time and it isn’t just as a door to sex it’s because I want you to feel sexually satisfied.
I already know your response to this point that it’s pressuring and weird and not on so you don’t need to express it again.
I know that I’m not alone in that either, people do the same for their partners what id do for you ^

I don't even know what to say, I'm pissed off and offended. We're already having problems.

Who is being unreasonable here? Before I respond.

OP posts:
MermaidEyes · 05/06/2022 16:34

Might be missing the point here, but where was your son when you drove dp to his car?

ToastedWaffle · 05/06/2022 16:34

He knows you feel pressured and he doesnt want you to express it again?? Such entiteltment.

What a wanker. Literal and metaphorical.

tranquilrain · 05/06/2022 16:34

MermaidEyes · 05/06/2022 16:34

Might be missing the point here, but where was your son when you drove dp to his car?

In the back of the car.

OP posts:
Trixiefirecracker · 05/06/2022 16:35

I think you already know that you should never feel pressurised in to having any form of sex, be it foreplay or whatever. Sulking is really horrible behaviour and I wouldn’t put up with that from my child, let alone my partner. Relationships and sexual relationships are not ‘tit for tat’. I’d be pretty pissed off with his behaviour however I’m not sure why you would stop him pleasuring himself?

gamerchick · 05/06/2022 16:36

You wanted him to stop wanking?

Sulking over sex is a massive turn off. Nobody is owed an orgasm. He can sort himself out.

tranquilrain · 05/06/2022 16:36

I have never said I was I comfortable with him pleasuring himself. It was a dislike of him watching porn.

OP posts:
tranquilrain · 05/06/2022 16:37

tranquilrain · 05/06/2022 16:36

I have never said I was I comfortable with him pleasuring himself. It was a dislike of him watching porn.

*uncomfortable

OP posts:
DaffodilGreen · 05/06/2022 16:37

Grim. It’s be over for me. He thinks you should sexually gratify him even when you’re not in the mood. Ugh I could never have sex with him again after seeing him in that light. Yuk

CornishTiger · 05/06/2022 16:37

throw him back into whichever cesspit he came from. He sounds like an entitled man child.

Erm a child ruins the moment and normal couples laugh and say another time. No manipulate control and sulk.

He has given you a crystal ball into your future. Ditch and run.

Circumferences · 05/06/2022 16:41

Oh my god it's worse than a child sulking over... well, something really childish, because this is a grown man.
"I would have given you head" ooh what a catch!

Having children walking in on you will kill anyone's sex drive.

He's a twat.

anonljs · 05/06/2022 16:41

MermaidEyes · 05/06/2022 16:34

Might be missing the point here, but where was your son when you drove dp to his car?

I was also wondering this. It reads as though DS was put down for a nap and then off they went in the car.

tranquilrain · 05/06/2022 16:41

The fact that oh he says that he is not alone in this thinking has really bothered me.

OP posts:
tranquilrain · 05/06/2022 16:42

I was also wondering this. It reads as though DS was put down for a nap and then off they went in the car.

Sorry I wasn't clear. I put DS down, he didn't fall back to sleep. We got up and went out instead.

OP posts:
ToastedWaffle · 05/06/2022 16:43

He sounds like a misery guts too, never mind the no-sex-sulk-thing. "I dont want see you for the rest of the day". Scratch that mate, I'd be telling HIM I didn't want to see him for the rest of my life.

Can't imagine being with such a joyless funsponge. If he can't understand the moment has passed and just laugh it off he has a problem.

TheCatterall · 05/06/2022 16:43

I’m horny and you aren’t therefore you should still see to my needs wench.

erm. No. Someone tries guilting me into sex or anything or the ‘if you loved me…’ they’d be shown the door. I might love them but I respect myself more.

plenty of chaps out there that aren’t such arseholes.

godmum56 · 05/06/2022 16:44

and here we are again, the problem is not the problem...its not the interrupted sex, its the porn watching.

Mally100 · 05/06/2022 16:46

Raise the bar. This man is pressuring you and you know this. Dump the loser.

converseandjeans · 05/06/2022 16:47

He doesn't sound like he's able to cope with you prioritising your young child over his sexual needs. It's not fair on your child as he will pick up on the tension. I don't think going forward it's going to work if you have a child young enough to need a nap and a partner who demands your full attention too. I think you're best off getting rid of bf.

missymarrk · 05/06/2022 16:47

Ew ew ew. So unattractive to act like that. What a selfish prick. Get shot of him.

Topseyt123 · 05/06/2022 16:48

He sounds like an utter twat. Show him the door.

tranquilrain · 05/06/2022 16:49

Thank you everyone for reassuring me that I'm not crazy.

Does anyone have any idea how to reply? I want to explain how wrong he is but I know he just won't get it

OP posts:
ToastedWaffle · 05/06/2022 16:50

tranquilrain · 05/06/2022 16:49

Thank you everyone for reassuring me that I'm not crazy.

Does anyone have any idea how to reply? I want to explain how wrong he is but I know he just won't get it

A nice "Fuck off" should do it. Then block.

anonljs · 05/06/2022 16:55

tranquilrain · 05/06/2022 16:42

I was also wondering this. It reads as though DS was put down for a nap and then off they went in the car.

Sorry I wasn't clear. I put DS down, he didn't fall back to sleep. We got up and went out instead.

Makes more sense.

anonljs · 05/06/2022 16:55

I also think he's a dick, btw.

Aquamarine1029 · 05/06/2022 16:58

Why you would even bother to respond to such utter bullshit is beyond me. The only thing you should text back is "it's over." Then block the idiot.

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