If you are energetic, positive and healthy in your 40s...what are your tips?

[Wisenotboring]

I'm approaching mid 40s and feel like I'm coming out of a bit of a fog of tiredness and life feeling a bit like hard work. I have a new job and am feeling more like my old self after a final baby and covid. I want to embrace the next stage and make good decisions to give myself the best chance of a healthy and enjoyable middle age. If you are feeling good what are your top tips for me!

Would love tips on boosting or changing jobs in 40s. I've done well work wise in life but at 44 and freelance I would absolutely love to go back to a proper regular job with colleagues but literally seems unimaginable I would ever get through q competitive process

I feel like all jobs are either for young people or senior people my age but they will always go to people in current stable employment. I just can't imagine someone hiring a maverick freelancer !

I feel its a way women are just relentlessly punished career wise. I have been successful in achieving things despite being part time and self employed but it seems difficult to imagine bosses hiring a mid 40s female parent who has been freelance for 10 years

Walk the dog twice a day
Retraining for new career
Volunteer in an area I really enjoy
Cycle to work
Try to get 7-8 hours sleep every night
Work a bit less than full time
Going on the pill has equalised my hormones a bit

There are lots of things on this thread I'd like to introduce - more aerobic exercise, fewer carbs, yoga.

I’m 37 and often a bit tired but I have 3 dcs and two didn’t sleep for years. I’m well over that but still feel tired as life’s busy as working more now than when they were small and life is v v v full on with 3 kids and no family support but also lovely. All are now in primary from September so huge milestone for us so getting there and it’s defo getting easier!!
I run regularly, keep toned by using weights and sleep as much as I can, making up for around 8 years of not! I’ve been a parent 11 years and love it but I was a big sleeper pre kids and haven’t yet gotten that back as my body just isn’t used to switching off anymore. Exercise and eating really well are key for me, getting out in the fresh air everyday , I also try and do some craft things when my dh takes them out for a day etc

Max strength vitamin D all year round
Getting the sun on my skin all summer
Having hobbies (gardening here)
Exercise
Intermittent fasting

My 38 yr old brother passed away 3 weeks ago after 6 months ICU stay after contracting covid. Before that he loved life, his wife/children, his body, his 7 to 8 hrs of sleep, fitness. He thought he'd be in hospital for few days, then 2 to 3 weeks and once he was intubated, he never returned.

He woke up early to make the most of his day, took long walks, set up weekly football matches on the weekends, planned weekends away with friends as a family or on their own. He spent time with all of us his siblings, nephews and nieces most weekends.

Basically life is too short so enjoy it as much as you can, you never know when it can be taken away. Only you can make yourself truly happy, find hobbies you enjoy that are therapeutic. For me it's gardening and that has helped me last few months, to just spend time on my own and lose myself to all the memories of my brother and my dad who we also lost while my brother was in a coma.

So sorry to hear about your brother and your dad, @prettymum Your brother sounds like he absolutely loved life and had his priorities right. You are so right that life is short and that keeping this in mind is the best way to get the most out of every day.

So sorry to hear that @prettymum A stark reminder that life is short
@waterrat I work with women just like you and it's honestly all in how you present that experience. Not impossible, use LinkedIn, network, decide what sort of work you want and work towards getting it.

Agree with PPs re: running. It gives me more energy and the headspace is really great. I have greater clarity on my running days (min. 3 per week).

Taoism which has led to

a contented outlook
exercise
friendships
wine
new Experiences

I am so sorry to hear this, may they both rest in peace

plant based, weight training, only drink alcohol about once a month and then not much at all. Push myself career wise

Exercise.
Lots of dairy!
Positive outlook on life and a strategy in place for dealing with any negative aspects.

@prettymum So sorry for your loss.

Regular exercise (I am a “runner” although jogging/staggering is more accurate - I don’t run far but I do run regularly), eat well, don’t drink loads. Have a fun hobby (I play piano) and find the joy in small things. I really love my morning coffee and biscuit - it’s only a custard cream or suchlike but it’s just a nice little break.

Keep up with regular, varied exercise. Don’t think of it as being for physical gain (though of course it helps!) but heart health. Good probiotics. Intuitive eating. Throw away clothes that don’t fit.

I have a fast paced career job but work less than full time
I fast two days a week even though I am very healthy BMI - keeps me motivated and enables me to eat nice food on other days .
I look after myself with a PT as I have had really big mobility issues in the past.
We got rid off our car (live in London) so walk or cycle everywhere
I cleaned out my wardrobe and only wear clothes that truly suit me. They are not all high end but they truly fit.
I read at least 20 mins a day
I listen to at least one podcast a day to expand my knowledge
I am currently learning French
I help people a lot in my specific area - this gives me lots of energy and helps me feel I give back. But I do it on my terms

I have a fast paced career job but work less than full time
I fast two days a week even though I am very healthy BMI - keeps me motivated and enables me to eat nice food on other days .
I look after myself with a PT as I have had really big mobility issues in the past.
We got rid off our car (live in London) so walk or cycle everywhere
I cleaned out my wardrobe and only wear clothes that truly suit me. They are not all high end but they truly fit.
I read at least 20 mins a day
I listen to at least one podcast a day to expand my knowledge
I am currently learning French
I help people a lot in my specific area - this gives me lots of energy and helps me feel I give back. But I do it on my terms

@Ceridwenn same, I started doing Kung fu with DS(6)! It's fantastic!

Work PT in a job that isn't too taxing - i.e. I don't wake up in the night stressed and panicky, as I used to do in my original career field - but which is busy and fulfilling, with lovely people to work with

Some volunteer work, but not too much - I've overdone the volunteering in the past and have found it can have a negative effect on your self-esteem if you do too much

Gardening - lots

Fresh air and going for walks

No regulation of what I eat/drink, within sensible boundaries - I don't deny myself treats but I don't go mad either - everything in moderation.

A regular routine - I get up at the same time every day (6:15 in term time, slightly later at weekends) and never let myself have long lie ins as they make me feel sluggish and mentally low. Pyjama days are banned in our house for the same reason.

I shower every morning without fail. Wash hair, shave legs, put a bit of makeup on even if I'm going anywhere. Makes me feel fresher, more alert and attractive.

and finally - only doing things socially if I really want to. I am quite happy in my own company (DH and DC aside) and find that if I book in too many social things I get quite stressed, so I've learned to manage this better over the years.

@waterrat you'd be surprised, I actively look for exactly that!

HRT - tada!

• and get it as soon as the dog days hit because peri is the long covid of womanhood (but your GP will waste months or years of your life trying to tell you to take anti depressants or some stupid herbal shit until you stamp your feet)

Place marking

Get your vitamin D levels checked firstly. I've been on my knees with exhaustion and went to GP who did a full blood test and I'm Vitamin D3 deficient! I'm now on a weekly tablet but also making sure I get out of the house more often and in the sunshine. Very very common for us Westerners apparently.

Make time for your friends as adults, not just play dates for kids - arrange weekends away without children. It is re-energising to spend time with friends where children are not the focus, cements bonds of friendship and allows for deep conversation/debate about life/the universe/etc. Work to maintain friendships where children are not the connecting factor but are people who know and like you as you, not as Charlie's mum.

Do something scary twice a year - have a climbing lesson, join a choir and sing in a concert, run a half marathon, do karaoke.

Don't be afraid to be silly. Muck around with your kids. Get drunk with your friends and dance. Dance sober. Get a whoopee cushion and put it under your husband's seat before dinner. Sing loudly in the car. Wear fancy dress.