Going on holiday is horrid

[CountTheStars]

With children under 5. Why do I do it? Why does anyone do it? It’s just stressful, expensive, stuff always goes wrong, the kids fight, get overtired & don’t appreciate any attractions or walks or planned trips out; they’re just as happy playing by a puddle in a fucking car park or throwing stones one by one down a drain.

No-one agrees on what they want to do with the day so you compromise & end up doing something no-one wants at all. For some mysterious reason you think it’d be a great idea to uproot the kids from a nicely established routine & a familiar environment where you’ve got everything under control to an unfamiliar place, where the beds & rooms are different, so bedtimes are a right effing drama & you get little to no sleep. The weather is traditionally shite (looking at you UK holidays) and you spend about 3 days trying to figure out how everything works in the new place. Plus the tortuously long car journeys there & back if you’re crazy like me & booked somewhere too far away.

Everyone breathes an audible sigh of relief to get home. Kids go and play with a puddle/drain, I can watch junk on Netflix in the evening, and everyone is happy.

I don’t think I ABU in thinking this about holidays with preschoolers because all I could hear when out and about where angry/exhausted parents, and pockets of screaming. No-one enjoys holidays with under 5’s, surely?

All holidays are hideous, with or without small children.

YANBU but loads of people will come on to talk about how they love them because they are so 'chilled' so their children don't fight/refuse sleep/complain etc.

My eldest is nearly 9 and he can't even come with me to walk the dog round the block without moaning so holidays are joyful.

Mine are 4 and 6 and I think we're coming out the other side. Last couple of holidays have been OK with a reasonable amount of enjoyable moments.

Know what yiu mean. I feel there is no such thing as an actual holiday ie a break from life with little dc.
However, the best we cd do was.. take familiar things with us. Ie a box of old and new toys.

Their duvets etc.

Each person ( if old enough dc wise) gets to choose one thing / place/ activity.
Also have a good chunk of one part of each day just chilling.
Beach/ garden / play . No travel, no deadline to be anywhere like a village or other resort.
Downtime really helps dc.
We used to be big travellers and having car sick dc was a nightmare. Took us 2 days to get to cornwall ! ( had to book into a b and b on way!)
Wine also helped.

Until my DDs were 4 and 5, I only took them on holiday to my PIL’s house inside a national park, 3 miles from the nearest village, where they could play on the moors, ride steam trains, feed ducks, paddle in streams and enjoy their grandparents’ company in the massive garden.
I then took them to visit their cousins in Holland, with the help of my late DH’s dear old aunty who accompanied us, and only tried solo holidays abroad with the DDs after they turned 7. It was fine from then on.

No I enjoy mine BUT...I only have one small DC (+2 grown up) and we don't go more than 3 hours drive, usually much less.

When the older 2 were younger the 3 of us also had some great holidays all over the uk (went by train) but they were always child centred. Didn't go abroad until youngest was 9

The problem with holidays is that it’s just parenting abroad. You don’t get a break, because you’re doing more than you’d do at home and they were at nursery / school etc.

The only way I will do holidays is if there is an element of childcare involved - kids club, crèche, big group holiday where the kids play together and parents take it in turns to watch them etc. Otherwise being totally prepared - take black out blinds, all home comforts, and critically: only ever book somewhere that’s nicer than your actual house. If you book somewhere that is a bit cheap with fewer rooms / kids crammed in / you’re sleeping in a tight double when you have a king at home etc etc you’ll never have such a nice time as you do at home.

That's what places like Haven are for. Lots of activities on site to keep then happy. No decisions about where to go, except maybe one local attraction but we they are entertained on site the rest of the time. There's loads of them all over the UK, so you can go to one a couple of hours away. it's expectations that are the issue. Holidays with young children are different, not necessarily what us adults would like but can still be enjoyable for us.

dont think we’ve ever had a bad flight holiday with kids. But we’ve always flown a lot.

YABVU.
It's certainly not my experience at all. Both my children are under 5 (4 and 1) and we've done 5 foreign holidays with 1/both of them in total, would be more if not for Covid. Our next trip is in August for 10 days in Spain.
Honestly, it's the reason I work for, absolutely love holidays with ours. Without a doubt the best times we've had with them both. Chilled, fun, lovely weather, no work, nap when they want, stay up late, sleep better, no arguments or stress. We've just returned from driving to France for a week (9.5hrs each way) and all we've talked about since is when to book so we can go back. Absolute bliss 😊 I honestly love every second.

Whole heartedly disagree.

Been travelling long haul with my daughter since she has been 5 months (she is now 4) and I love it.

We don’t do U.K. holidays - If I still see a Royal Mail van or a Tesco I don’t consider it a holiday!

We deliberately stay in hotels as I don’t find doing laundry or cooking equals a holiday.

We never do things we don’t like - not sure how you end up at that? Ours are meticulously planned in advance with a good mix of culture, children's activities etc.

my daughter has been eating out and usually public transport continuously since birth and I think that it a big factor in how well she deals with it. Kids ego are always in a car bubble or who never eat in restaurants are of course going to struggle when they go from never doing it to doing it everyday for a week etc.

I’m sure having only one helps.

Holidays are looking after the children somewhere less convenient at home up until a certain stage. I used to like going away with friends who had the kids the same age, at least you had someone to keep you company on the morning shifts and you could help one another out. Mind you, I might be a bit rose tinted, they’re all doing A levels and GCSEs at the moment.

I’ve taken my eldest (5) away twice abroad and 3 x long drive UK and the younger (2.5) will have her first holiday abroad this summer due to covid.
I am so excited and cannot wait. Yes it will be to an extent same stuff different place and it will disrupt routine but I can’t wait for them to experience a new country, swim in the pool, ice cream, hair braids, late nights etc! I hope it’s fun slightly nervous after this thread 😂

@Plaidparty yes having only one is a completely different experience.

Kids that are always in a car bubble or who never eat in restaurants are of course going to struggle when they go from never doing it to doing it everyday for a week etc.

Good point. It’s a huge adjustment to go from being in the car all the time, to a mixture of bus, planes, monorail, train, all of it in a foreign country.

Yabu. We have taken my dc abroad many, many times. The longest being on a 12 hour flight. Some people really over complicate things. You don't need to take the kitchen sink too. Choose a family friendly place, call up before hand to find out exactly what they offer so you can prepare on your end. Share all responsibilities between both parents equally. I would never do self catering, caravan or those types of holidays. Then you might as well stay at home.

So don't go. It's not compulsory. If you're more relaxed at home, have days out near home instead.

We’ve had a few ‘memorable’ holidays but mostly they’ve been pretty good. My DDs generally get on well, with the odd spat. Not sure if this is due to being twins/same sex or luck.

Always loved going somewhere warm..not hot..as in lreland when the dc went in the sea they came out literally shaking with the cold but abroad they could run in and out happily. Spend the whole day there. Loved our holidays when the dc were young but never cooked or did any housework. Great having dh there to run after them so l could chill out. He loves the sea, beach etc so l let him take over.
It's all weather dependent l believe.

Wait until they're teenagers!

We has lovely holidays with our DC from ages 6-10 when they were old enough to be out late and didn't need such intensive parenting.

Now, its a whole new ballgame. Moods that swing from happy to fed up in an instant and the arguing with each other. Drives me demented.

Sound like you booking really unsuitable holidays. Why on earth does it take 3 days to figure things out.

Yanbu .
we went to haven for the next few years after one of those holidays . Dc loved it and it took the pressure off us - plus we could have a drink and take the dc with us for tea, so we all enjoyed it in the end .

We have always enjoyed our holidays, no matter how old DS was.
But- we only have 1. We go abroad but short flights. We go with my parents so a 4 to 1 ratio.
UK holidays are just a series of tiring expensive days out. We have fun but in no way relaxing.
You need warm sunshine. Easy food options- we always did SC but ate out every evening. Breakfast was cereal and lunch was bread, cheese, salad etc. DS had massive naps on holiday because of the sun and swimming.

What about an AI abroad? It’s cheaper than the UK. No cooking, or cleaning. Just get yourselves up in the morning & help yourself to food for every meal, snacks & drinks in between too. Go in the pool, or on the beach every day seeing as the weather will be good. Some places have daily clubs for the kids so you can have a break. Anything has to be better than being stuck here slaving away.

You aren't wrong. First family holiday for me was when I was 12...my older brother was 13, younger 9...my mother had always said up until then there was no way on Earth she was holidaying either abroad or at home with 3 young children.

The holiday was okay, but it was the only one we took as a full family.