Going on holiday is horrid

[CountTheStars]

With children under 5. Why do I do it? Why does anyone do it? It’s just stressful, expensive, stuff always goes wrong, the kids fight, get overtired & don’t appreciate any attractions or walks or planned trips out; they’re just as happy playing by a puddle in a fucking car park or throwing stones one by one down a drain.

No-one agrees on what they want to do with the day so you compromise & end up doing something no-one wants at all. For some mysterious reason you think it’d be a great idea to uproot the kids from a nicely established routine & a familiar environment where you’ve got everything under control to an unfamiliar place, where the beds & rooms are different, so bedtimes are a right effing drama & you get little to no sleep. The weather is traditionally shite (looking at you UK holidays) and you spend about 3 days trying to figure out how everything works in the new place. Plus the tortuously long car journeys there & back if you’re crazy like me & booked somewhere too far away.

Everyone breathes an audible sigh of relief to get home. Kids go and play with a puddle/drain, I can watch junk on Netflix in the evening, and everyone is happy.

I don’t think I ABU in thinking this about holidays with preschoolers because all I could hear when out and about where angry/exhausted parents, and pockets of screaming. No-one enjoys holidays with under 5’s, surely?

I’m a lone parent to 2 autistic boys who are now just 11 and 14 and I’ve loved taking them on holiday since they were tiny. Since covid we’ve only been to visit Grandparents (100 miles) and I can’t wait for our 1st little breaks this summer.
It’s all about having realistic expectations. We’ve so far stayed in the UK with the exception of a brilliant trip to Disneyland Paris and another great AI 10 days in Tenerife. We’ve stayed in hotels in London and camped in the middle of nowhere in Cornwall. We always take it very slow and steady and I let the boys take the lead. We don’t ‘have’ to do anything. Our best day out in London was spent eating picnic food we bought at a nearby Tesco, laughing at the squirrels in St James’ Park, followed by baths for the boys back at the Premier Inn with the new bath bombs they’d bought 😂

I think it’s got to be a certain type

Ie better weather, beach, easy, stuff to do etc

We live abroad so all our holidays involve flying home. My son is 13 now and we took over 200 flights in his lifetime. It’s all about the mindset. When he was a baby we knew it wouldn’t be easy but we also knew that if he didn’t get used to it, we would never be able to be free. We traveled around the world with him and he can endure any type of journey. Sure, there were problems. Got pretty sick twice in Croatia and we even had to spend a week in a horrible, dirty hospital in Dalmatia but we try to focus on the positive side. Bad things happen sometimes, no matter where you are.

We’ve ALWAYS done self catering - that’s been the answer for us. Chilled take it our own pace, we don’t stress about the weather and we go by car so can take familiar stuff.

Only started flying once kids got to be teens.

Our boys don’t whinge though so guess that helps? 🤷‍♀️

Love holidays! Being somewhere new, seeing new sights, different food, (hopefully) good weather, more relaxed around bedtime, ice creams etc, no work, no routines... My best memories with my children are of holidays. That's everything from camping 12 miles from home to long haul holidays abroad. Yes, the journey can be difficult, especially if it involves long car rides or a plane, but to me it's well worth it. I don't understand why holidays are so miserable for so many! But just give it a miss and save the money and holiday at home.

We've got a 4yo and 8yo, they can bicker and moan, but on balance we're always glad we went.

We live hours from the coast, and it's lovely to see them enjoying themselves and I've taken to hiring a paddleboard or kayak for an hour or two so I feel I've done something fun. They're a bit more self sufficient now they're older.

Always done caravans so we have the living space. I try to limit cooking, bring a cooked meal frozen, pizza, meals out.

I don't enjoy holidays much - DH is a useless faffer who decides the day before we go away that the car needs an MOT/Service/new tyres and there is always a mad panic sorting that out. I get left sorting out a food shop, the dogs, wellies/coats/beds etc, while he just gets the luxury of his own stuff. By the time we arrive somewhere, I'm already exhausted and then have 2 anxious dogs to manage/settle while DH nods off on the sofa and leaves mugs of tea over the floor.

I'm seriously thinking of going away just me and the dogs later this year.

One of the best holidays I've had was when my children were 5 and 3 months. An all-inclusive on the beach in Ibiza. We rattled back and forth between pool-room-restaurant. Lots of ice cream, siestas, and sangrias. The food was great, and we didn't feel like we were wasting money if the children didn't eat much. It was early May, so quiet and not too hot. We loved it!

A holiday with kids isn't a"holiday" in terms of relaxing, sleeping late, lots of sex, drinking from lunchtime etc. but I think the idea they're total hell is a mindset / about expectations

Last summer we stayed with friends so had to totally toddler proof their house and I did clothes washing every day, cooked every day etc. Bedtimes took longer. We visited the beach a LOT and a local outdoor pool, a farm, a zoo, a park. Eat out a bit. Maintain normal bedtime as much as possible.

I recently took my 19mo DD on a long weekend and decided to cancel future holidays. I'm going to use my annual leave to give myself a break while she's at nursery instead.

I love going on holidays with my baby, he's 7 months old and has been to Mexico, Philadelphia, Maldives and Lanzarote so far. It makes me sad to think we might not enjoy travelling in a couple years!

Holidays were never difficult for us but we have very low standards and expectations! We don't have a lot of money so can only afford short caravan holidays on the east Yorkshire coast, meaning we don't have far to travel, the dc have their own rooms separate from the main living area, we can either cook or get a takeaway and we don't have to stray too far from their normal routine (though at 9 & 11 they don't really have a routine any more). A few walks, trips to the beach, days spent at the park etc and they're happy and therefore so are we.

At that age our holidays were either Disneyland (CA) whilst staying with (wonderful) relatives or camping with a big group with lots of kids our kids' ages. Both types were great and suited to young children. There were always plenty of adults to share in the 'keeping an eye on things' in both places and my DH never tried to shirk his share of the 'duties'. I wouldn't have wanted to take any holidays involving flights or 'fancy' hotels with very young children. I can't see myself having much fun that way.

We got an RV when the DC were a bit older and it was wonderful, so many lovely memories of our Natl Parks, beaches, and other great places in the US. DH and I are now retired and we're still RV'ing!

I think with one it's easy, because you just work to their needs. And obv money helps as you can pick the ideal holiday and the stuff to make your life easier. Couple of weeks part or full catered somewhere with the sun on your side is entirely different to self catering through a week of rain with a toddler and a teen

What went wrong? That's quite an extreme reaction

I love holidays. Going on one this month - between finances and Covid it’s the first one in a long time!

I think part of the issue is expectations. If you expect it to be like a TUI ad where the kids frolic in the pool while you lounge poolside it will be disappointing. If you compare it to carefree holidays you may have had pre-kids it will be disappointing. Realistically, it will be all the same things as at home (re parenting) but somewhere else. Once you’re realistic about that I think it’s more enjoyable.

One thing that also helps me is not overly sticking to everything when abroad. I don’t try to stick with the bath & bed I’d do at home and expect all the kids to be lights out and asleep by 8/9. I mean I don’t feel like sleeping early on holiday either! We go out later, sleep in later if we want, have a nap in the afternoon, treat ourselves more, everything like that. It makes it easier.

Although I will say a self catered house in the uk wouldn’t feel like much of a proper holiday to me - I’d rather just stay at home and plan a few nice day trips.

I've just been on holiday with my 20 month old and really loved it!

YABU, it is/was certainly not my experience.

We don't even have kids and have spent the past six weeks mixing holidays with deferred events from Covid.

... And the entirety of this weekend either asleep or barely moving. Going places and doing stuff is EXHAUSTING.

My ds is 2.5. We’ve found travelling has ups and downs and depends on age. He ha shuts started walking when we went camping and that was a I firmare as he was running off in a Million directions across a huge lovely 60 acre campsite but it would be fine and fun now.

hotels- hmm. We also like to stay somehweee nicer than home but then we spent whole time worried about him trashing the place as he is quite energetic and there was nowhere to go when he was asleep.

for us best has been our own home in Italy which is familiar to him, had all he needs and is quite rural.

second has been home exchange app- swapping our house with other toddler friendly homes in country or seaside locations, cheap and someone feeds our cat too!

I'm with you I hate flying, hate the heat, don't tan so can't sit in sun or walk about to do decent trips. Never get a sleep at night even with air con still uncomfortable. Lids get irritated and over tired. A 7 day holiday I probably enjoy 3 days being in a pool then it's pack to leave and all the airport chaos.

I dont mind UK breaks as we have a family caravan 2hours drive away and have all our own stuff there so it's a different experience for us.

My eldest wants to go NYC in December and I actually think minus horrendous flight it would be good as a city break.

You aren’t wrong. See it as character building.
Also you can look back and enjoy the memories of hideous holidays as hilarious stories.
A bit like training for the Army. Misery at the time but you got through it and stronger for the experience (or become semi alcoholic).

^This.

I’m sure having only one helps.
Bog all to do with 'not considering the UK a holiday destination' never eating in restaurants or meticulous planning. It's having just the one.