to be devastated re: hold baggage gone missing

[molka]

It's my sister's wedding at the end of the month. She and our parents went back to Thailand to visit family and do a lot of wedding shopping. They've just flown back to the UK but their baggage has mostly not come with them. I am beyond devastated and don't know how to help. The baggage mostly consisted of traditional attire for the wedding (for the bride, groom, close family and friends who'd requested traditional outfits - all custom tailored) as well as other Thai decorations and items for the wedding. Things we can't buy here. Things that took a lot of time and effort to source and then tailored for each person.

When my DS's bag went missing, it was delivered to his address a few days later.
In his case, there was a specific reason. He was using a rucksack, with straps, which meant it could not go on the automatic boarding stuff, because of the straps. We all had to leave these kind of bags is a specific location, and we could see other bags there as well, which all went 'missing'. Basically they had to be loaded manually, and whoever was responsible, did not get to it, before take off.
Very annoying for my DS, as he had left for the trip straight from work, wearing a suit, which on return, was one of the items in his missing bag.
Maybe suits no longer matter as much since Covid, but he ended up buying a new suit for work, on his return.
Consequently, I fully understand how upset you must be. I also wanted you to know that in his case, the bag turned up, and was delivered to his house. They seem to have developed a system for returning bags to owners, provided it has the usual destination on it.

Do not apologise. You are entitled to feel devastated. Other people cannot tell you how to feel.

This tends to happen when we come back from the States, the connection time at Amsterdam is tight for our flight to the UK, the bags rarely arrive but the airline delivers them, usually later in the day. Make sure they've completed the paperwork before leaving the airport, if they've not already left.

To you. It doesn't matter to you. It matters to the OP. clearly a lot.

I'm astounded at how nasty some people on this thread have been to the OP. Rather than help - or sympathise - we have the "word police" slamming the OP for picking the wrong word and telling her that she's wrong about her feelings. Being distressed about something isn't a competition. There's no official sliding scale that gives one person the right to be devastated and another only slightly perturbed.

OP, as others have said, baggage isn't often lost, it's more likely delayed, and if your family keep on at the airline they should be able to find it and get it to your sister in plenty of time. I totally understand that the first reaction is to panic, and I doubt that all these word critics would be calmly contemplating their navels if it was their own irreplaceable wedding gowns that were missing. People are just being rude and nasty to you. It's a real shame that some people get such pleasure out of being downright nasty on the internet. But I guess they wouldn't be brave enough to do it to someone's face - it easy to be unfeeling with the anonymity of a keyboard.

I can't imagine being "beyond devastated" about someone else's luggage.

Honesty, I wouldn't be getting too upset yet. Most likely the luaggage will turn up in a few days. The wedding is not till the end of the month so there is plenty of time.

Many years ago I went on holiday to Spain. Was staying in villa with parents for a few days before returning to uni. Had taken some work with me so could revise whilst lazing by the pool. Had kept my books in my hand luggage on the way out but decided to put them in the hold luggage on the way back. Suitcase was missing when we landed. I wasn't impressed. But did end up being returned the next evening by courier.

Fingers crossed your families’ missing luggage will turn up soon

Honestly they usually turn up

But get them to contact the tailors and dressmakers who made the stuff, hopefully they kept measurements, but if not they can probably redo via zoom. Presume they have insurance?

YANBU OP, it's natural to be very disappointed when things of great value (financial and sentimental) have disappeared. What have the airline said? Are the suitcases still in their system somewhere?

But the other replies don't surprise me. On MN you'll always be told other people have it worse. Unless the thing you're upset about is parking or CF neighbours, because those are obviously the greatest issues of our day.

I've been separated from my luggage a few times. It should eventually turn up if correctly tagged and/or you have contact details and destination on the outside and inside the suitcase.

One time the airline was too tight to buy enough fuel possibly the plane left without nearly all the luggage leaving the Maldives. Some passengers had house keys in their cases (an expensive mistake).

Another occasion my case didn't bother to leave Heathrow (luckily DH's did and we always split packing in case we lose a bag). It was a very expensive courier for BA as they had to chase round Zambia after us.

Hope you family are reunited with their luggage OP.

My point is, they should be able to tell you where they think your bag is.

You should be ok, baggage is rarely actually lost and usually turns up a few days later, couriered to your house. What did the airline say?

Its happened to me a few times so now when we travel we always split our stuff between a few cases instead of having one each / all the valuable stuff in one case

Stop panicking, it's common for baggage to go astray and a competent airline will get it back to the owner at home. I've had this happen.

Activate the airline's lost baggage system.

In terms of how you can help, just keep contacting the airline for updates. Things are in a bit of a mess at the moment with staff shortages but usually the tags are scanned at different journey stages so airlines can tell where the bag is and estimate how long it will take to get it to you. In the unlikely event that it does not turn up, do you have photos of what was inside? Do the tailors still have the measurements? I’d suggest lodging a formal intention to claim with the airline in writing now and explaining what was inside and why it was needed, with the photos of you have them. If the bag doesn’t turn up within a week you should tell the airline that you propose to ask family over there to buy replacements and charge the cost to the airline, including the cost of sending them to you by air freight. Best to discuss this with the airline before doing it. If they are sensible they will agree to this, but do be aware that lost baggage claims are limited by international law (Montreal Convention) to a maximum of approx £1400 per person.

Do come back and tell us if they turn up.

there is a major issue with lack of luggage handlers at the moment so time wise previous experience from pp may not be much of a guide
NAG airlines report to (dare I say this??) the express the sun or even -shock horror!! the Daily Mail - they might orchestrate enough comment on line that the airline would start a real search & recovery... but wait a few days
Does the airline have a twitter or facebook account? Sometimes messages on them actually get through better

I’ve had my hold luggage go missing three times (funnily enough, one occasion was on arrival in Thailand!)

Every single time the luggage has turned up and been delivered to me maybe 48-72 hours later. I’ve found the airlines are very experienced at dealing with this situation so I’d imagine the lost luggage will make its way to your sister soon.

So, firstly, you're allowed to be devastated. I understand why you feel devastated. Other people don't get to police your emotions. It's not a sliding scale, if it's a terrible day for you, it's a terrible day for you, regardless of the circumstances. Secondly, as others have said, in my experience luggage turns up after a few days. Keep harassing the airline, though, if you're civil they will listen. Hope it all turns up very soon, and that the wedding is wonderful!

Mine turned up a year later. We are going back a long time though.

I’d claimed on the insurance and everything. On opening it, it was like greeting some long lost friends.

Try and be philosophical. It’s disappointing, of course it is, but if the worst comes to the worst, it’s a good story to tell at the wedding. And to dine out on for many years. We have a similar disaster wedding story in the family - although not a lost suitcase!

When it was reported missing the airline should have given you a 10 digit world tracer number. Go on to the world tracer website or download the app and you will be able to track once it's found and how/when it's arriving.

Like already said sure all will be well OP.

I had a similar thread a while ago and was given the same short shrift by the good biddies of MN. I was lambasted for having the audacity to go on holiday, my choice of destination criticised, told not to moan, etc. It took half my holiday to get my suitcase back and the airport staff tried to impose a $50 charge to return it to me. The airline were rubbish and lost the luggage again going home.

I will have everything crossed for your case reaching you safely very soon and hope you have a brilliant wedding day

Mumsnet is full of toxic aresholes. To all those people who responded with spite and nasiness, who are any of you to police how the OP feels? So she has empathy and is 'devastated' on behalf of someone else. What an awful person she must be.

Bunch of nasty idiots with nothing positive in your lives and needing to spread your unhappiness. I hope you're all proud.

Not sure why OP can't feel devastated given that there is a possibility the suitcases may not be found? Other peoples situations shouldn't be used to diminish how OP is feeling. I always hate when people go on about "stop complaining others have it worse" - yes they do, but that doesn't stop this from being shit.

It will normally turn up eventually, although it is a worry.
ours have gone missing 3 times over the years and every time we have eventually had it back in about 5 days.
The worst was when it went missing on an outgoing flight so we had 5 days with no luggage and wasted a days holiday shopping for everyday essentials.

I have such a bad luck for my hold luggage to get lost I only travel with hand luggage, but I can assure you, if the airline knows where the bag is it will turn up in less than a week. If they don’t AT ALL, it normally takes about a month.