There's no such thing as a well behaved three year old

[TerribleThreees]

OK so perhaps there is, but I'd love to be told that they're all little horrors and it's a phase they all go through. It might make me feel a bit better about my day!

My DD has been hellish today. There was tantrum after whinge after tantrum, she was being rude to strangers in supermarkets who kindly asked her what the matter was. She was screeching like a banshee around said supermarket when i wouldn't buy her every request, completely defiant and non compliant all day. To top it off she was extremely rude about a gentleman on the bus who she had to sit next to (it was the only seat left) and the poor bloke had to listen to her exclaiming that she doesn't like that man and doesn't want to sit next to him.

I don't know what has gotten into her, she used to be so mild mannered and polite and it's actually quite embarrassing.

Needless to say such behaviour doesn't go unchecked.

Anybody else care to share their stories of their obnoxious pre schoolers or am I unreasonable and just have a little horror 🤔

Mine didn’t have the ‘terrible twos’ he had the ‘foul fours’
Lovely baby and toddler, easy going, good company loved sleep, naps etc…. Then… there was this horrid phase between out-growing playgroup but not quite old enough for school!!😱
He was so ghastly, I rang the school asking if they could take him earlier than the January he was 5!! The lovely lady said I wasn’t the first Mum to ring and ask/plead for help when the DCs get to that age. When my Ds finally started school, he went back to being my lovely boy again as school was stimulating and challenging for him, and got rid of the boredom.
Maybe it’s boredom for your Dc, too?

Boredom could definitely be an issue.

I try to do plenty with her like colouring, reading stories, going to the park, days out. We went to feed the ducks today before shopping to ease the burden of the dreaded food shop.

She's always 'on the go' though and looking for something new / better / more exciting. She doesn't much like playing on her own.

My DM told me that when I was around that age they used to nickname me "Have it. Want It. Touch it" and thats very fitting for DD too, she wants evvvvvvverything she sees 😬

Ooh, OP, I (apparently) was known for “see it, want it, get it!” 🙌
We are kindred spirits 😄

I’ve told this story before - but one of the worst days of my life was having to manhandle a three year old whilst pushing my newborn round a supermarket and trying to wrangle another more compliant three year old. I needed nappies so couldn’t just walk out - I ended up having to bundle him under my arm like a carpet and walk home, I was crying the whole way round the shop and going home. Just one person giving me a sympathetic look would have made me feel so much better.

Said three year old is now 13 so has a completely different set of issues (!) but it does get SO much better! Three was way worse than 2 for us.

You have made my day 😁

My DD is 3 and can be nightmarish too. Won’t get dressed, won’t let me do her hair, won’t eat her food, won’t hold my hand.
Today she asked for her pink shoes when she doesn’t even have any pink shoes. No paddy or anything, just absolute refusal to put any shoes on apart from the pink ones that she doesn’t have.

Don’t get me wrong. She’s absolutely wonderful too. But sheesh. 😂

And mahoosive meltdowns to boot.

DD1 was an angel at 3. DD2 was an absolute nightmare- Stroppy little moo who used to bite!

They then swapped and DD1 was a difficult teen whereas DD2 was very easy and laid back.

I thought it was normal as this thread shows.

My ds was the most placid conforming quiet child ever. I waited through the 2's and then 3's and onto the 4's to witness this.

Everyone kept telling me it would come and I'd be shocked by his personality transplant. I was always waiting for it thinking it was normal.

It never came.

He was diagnosed as autistic at 8.

Which makes me think that his behaviour was more abnormal than the defiant independent argumentative 3 year olds most people had - and this was out clue

Haha his other trick is to say, 'mummy, x crying. X need a PWARSTER' fake crying 'Got to go to hospical. Doctor got to ZIP x up!' fake limp staggers off down the road.

It's amazing how many toddler injuries are linked to not having jelly at mealtimes.

Dd was a wonderfully well behaved toddler, would hold my hand, be polite and do everything she was told.
Then she grew up......

No way, DD is always fabricating injuries which absolutely must require a plaster or bandage immediately too 😂

There must be an unwritten script they live by that we're not aware of!

He sounds wonderful 🙂

I too have an autistic DS, he's 4.5. Meltdowns aside (usually from sensory overload) he's a really laid back little chap.

We're as sure as we can be that DD isn't on the spectrum, although I know girls do present differently.

He's definitely the easier one!

Right here with ya OP!!! of there is such thing as a well behaved three year old I don't have one 😭😭

My older 2 were fine at ages 3. My youngest has had the most horrid terrible twos and I put this down to the divorce. He's 3 now and I hoped he'd be less of a handful but he's still an almighty handful. I keep telling myself it can't stay like this forever.

My 6 year old has been a demon the past two days...honest to god he's driven me demented!!

My DS2 is a happy boy most of the time but OMG he’s got a pair of lungs on him & when he fights with his brother or gets cross he shouts and SCREAMS - and literally goes red in the face. He sometimes hits people either with his hands or throws a toy. His aim is horribly accurate as well. 😡

If I tell him off he says “you are NOT the best mummy,” which makes me laugh a bit. He’s big & strong too so we sometimes have what can only be described as toddler wrestling matches whilst I try and change him or get him ready for bed. He finds it hilarious.

So yeah, good times & bad

OP I think it is actually expected for a three-year old to be 'defiant'. They are, at this stage, just beginning to develop their own personality (as opposed to being just an extension of you), so what looks like 'defiance' is actually them trying to establish that they are their own separate individual. Of course, being only three or four, they cannot be expected to do this in a mature, reasonable fashion.

Just keep telling yourself that the one time in your life that it is okay to behave like a toddler is when you actually are one.

So, sorry but you are being unreasonable. Your delightful little daughter is not a little horror but in all probability just a perfectly normal little three year old who is just beginning to establish her own sense of self and doing it in the only way she knows how. And will probably grow up into a lovely little girl in a few years.

Sorry had 2 and they were lovely third was awful

I’ve got four, one has always been an angel - never one meltdown, just happily and joyfully easy everyday. Another while not an angel, was never really difficult. The other two - all I can say is I don’t know how I survived it! They are all different.

When I say little horror I was just being lighthearted, as much as she can be a handful I love the bones of her - tantrums and all. She's such a clever little girl and makes me laugh on a daily basis with her wit and personality. She's also super loving and a great sister.

I wouldn't swap her for all the tea in China (and I really like tea)

My three year old was lovely. I'm pretty sure I thought it was down to my amazing parenting!
He's now seven and is a right pain. I've spent 90 % of this holiday correcting his behaviour and 10% of it feeling guilty that I'm always going on at him!

Good evening my kinsfolk.
I have two three year olds in the house. DD and DN who lives with us. They are weeks apart in age and now seem to take it in turns to be the angelic one and the devil one.
This week DD has forgotten what walking nicely is; tries running into the road etc and doesn’t understand stop anymore. DN has forgotten what a fork is for other than using it as a spade to build piles with any food given and given half he chance is eating all food stuffs like he’s 7 months old and starting baby led weaning.
Oh and he will only drink through an elephant straw that my MIL gave him that she thinks was DP’s 30 years ago. She did not give one to DD. I had to buy something similar for a million pounds on Amazon to sort that one out. (£6! For a straw!)!

Last week we had an amazing 3 days in Copenhagen, during which time I only told them off once and that was for trying to climb in the goats pen at the zoo.

My first two-utter dreams-odd moment but nothing to write home about-the one tantrum I remember was me refusing to buy my eldest a ‘party bag’ in the chemist
it was a diy sti kit-but she calmed down as soon as we left the shop
then I had no3-fuck me-he was hard work
no4 and 5-easy going,odd tantrum-maybe about 3 between them-school used to use them as ‘friends’ for any new kids in their class

then I had no6
fuck me,I thought no3 was bad-he was nothing on her
stubborn,independent,strong willed and had a temper like I’ve never seen before
the highlight was her sat on the naughty step while screaming that I had ‘terrible boobies!’
she was that loud not only did my neighbours hear her,but 5 doors down did as well

I work in customer care and if we get a difficult customer,I’m sent to deal with them-and I’m convinced it’s her that gave me the skills to calm them down and sort it out
ive had full grown men come in screaming at anyone who will listen,and 5 minutes of me,they have calmed down and leave with a smile and a massive thank you

i swear if she’d been my first,I wouldn’t have had anymore and she’d have been given up for adoption! (I’m joking-sort of)

I used to take a deep breath and mutter ‘I TAUGHT you how to be that stubborn kidda-your not getting one up on me’

she’s almost 16 now and the most kind hearted,unselfish,caring,animal loving,stubborn,hot headed and strong willed teenager you’ll ever meet

I'm really enjoying these replies, many have raised a laugh which is just what I needed after a stressful day. High five to those of you who have made it out the other side, 🍷and solidarity for those of you still in the thick of it!