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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He says I’m fat

74 replies

Newmumoct20 · 02/06/2022 21:30

So today and this week, a new thing…. I’m fat, I need to loose my tummy, I’m as fat as his ex and he told her she needed to loose weight too, I walk around looking like I’m pregnant, he still fancies me but that’s cos he loves me… I’m in pieces. Yes I’m overweight, yes I comfort eat and I have IBS and I’m bloated all the time but I didn’t think someone I love could be so cruel. He’s says he’s telling me for my own good 🥲I want to give up

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 02/06/2022 21:31

You can do sit-ups if the mood takes you but he will always be an arsehole, no exercise for that.

Why on earth are you with him?

PurpleDaisies · 02/06/2022 21:34

When you say “a new thing”, what other things have there been? I’m guessing there’s back story?

Topgub · 02/06/2022 21:36

The only weight you need to lose is him.

Next time he says anything, say, oh well I could lose weight bit you'll always he an ugly prick with a tiny cock

ForestFae · 02/06/2022 21:37

What possible redeeming qualities could he have that makes it worth putting up with that? Dump him.

glamosaurus · 02/06/2022 21:38

Would love to see a pic of him, he sounds bloody horrendous. His ex is lucky he's an ex.

doadeer · 02/06/2022 21:38

That's so mean. Why would he want to cause you hurt like this?

Rumplestrumpet · 02/06/2022 21:39

This isn't about your weight. It's about the way he speaks to you and treats you - totally lacking respect and kindness, which are the very BASICS of a relationship.

Even on its own this is awful, but it sounds like there's more too.

You deserve better OP

bridgetreilly · 02/06/2022 21:40

You may or may not be fat, but he’s definitely vile.

orwellwasright · 02/06/2022 21:42

So he has form for being abusive? I think you need some support to leave. He's not going to change.

MarvellousMay · 02/06/2022 21:42

LTB.

PartyPlan · 02/06/2022 21:43

What an arsehole. You need to get rid of him. This isn’t about your weight, he doesn’t like you.

Original poster
Newmumoct20 · 02/06/2022 21:46

Things have been rubbish for a long time. My confidence is in pieces, I have bad anxiety, it takes such a lot of effort me to even leave the house, today I thought I looked ok and he kept saying I need to loose my tummy, walk straight, it’s like he’s embarrassed to be seen with me. Last week he told me to wait in the car when he saw someone he knew as I don’t think he wanted to be seen with me. I want to keep things together for our child, but I don’t know how much more I can take. I don’t have anyone I can talk to and I feel broken.

OP posts:
Frazzledmummy123 · 02/06/2022 21:47

As others have said, the only weight you need to lose is HIM! His ex is the lucky one here.

Someone who truly loves you wouldn't say anything like that to you.

rnsaslkih · 02/06/2022 21:47

Wonder why his ex is an ex

join the ex and become an ex

RandomMess · 02/06/2022 21:47

You can lose a hell of a lot of unneeded weight by ditching him.

He is emotionally and verbally abusing you.

orwellwasright · 02/06/2022 21:53

Your child will be better off not being brought up watching dad abuse mum. Get help to leave.

ThreeLittleDots · 02/06/2022 21:58

I want to keep things together for our child

Don't you dare. This is an awful example to set them of a relationship. They also deserve to have a happy mummy.

Oldfilmsareshit · 02/06/2022 22:00

Don’t demonstrate an abusive relationship to your child, this is the number one thing you need to not do

ElenaSt · 02/06/2022 22:00

Sitting down and suggesting ways you can both become fit and healthy through diet and exercise is the act of a concerned partner.

Simply calling you fat and mentioning his ex at the same time without offering any support or solution is just cruel.

I'm sure you can do much better than him.

PatAndFrank · 02/06/2022 22:02

I’d walk my lovely arse (however big ) out of his life

kateandme · 02/06/2022 22:05

Oh op.this man and witnessing how he treats you will destroy your child.when it's like this it's a myth to keep thing "together" for the child.
Big small you deserve love.
There is nothing wrong with being fat. It's not and should not be a bad word.hes a fat phobic as whole.you can be any size as big anything and still be exquisite and deserbably so.you are not your body.try to remember all it does for you.what your heart does.how your legs carry you.how beautiful your hips help you play and hold your child.the wonderful arms to hold your dc with.the tummy that birthed your dc.the tummy that only you have.its your unique tummy.all your dips and cueves Re the story of your life.Your body is allowed to change as life does.the tummy that keeps you together and can enjoy all the wonderful foods of the world. Your face can feel the sunshine.and cheeks can lift when you smile.
Ibs is a bitch.and so painful.im sorry you suffer with it.there are some really good techniques for helping that.one trigger is stress and anxiety.he could be your ibs link luv!
Please leave this human.every body can be beautiful. Every body deserves respect.every human.no matter their size is wonderfully made and deserves respect.love.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/06/2022 22:07

ThreeLittleDots · 02/06/2022 21:58

I want to keep things together for our child

Don't you dare. This is an awful example to set them of a relationship. They also deserve to have a happy mummy.

This.

EmeraldShamrock1 · 02/06/2022 22:07

He is an arsehole.

I assume he isn't Chris Hemsworth's lookalike.

What gives him the confidence for his bullying attitude. 😏 I'd take him down a few notches.

Original poster
Newmumoct20 · 02/06/2022 22:18

Thank you everyone, especially for the kind ones. I hate how I look and know I need to loose weight but to hear I’m fat from the man I love, it’s heartbreaking. I don’t know why I haven’t got the courage to move on, I wish I did 🥲

OP posts:
Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 02/06/2022 22:23

Are you sure you love this man? He isn't very lovable is he? Just as you're feeling OK with yourself he decides to knock you down. Don't allow this to happen! He sounds absolutely horrible