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Original poster

He says I’m fat

74 replies

Newmumoct20 · 02/06/2022 21:30

So today and this week, a new thing…. I’m fat, I need to loose my tummy, I’m as fat as his ex and he told her she needed to loose weight too, I walk around looking like I’m pregnant, he still fancies me but that’s cos he loves me… I’m in pieces. Yes I’m overweight, yes I comfort eat and I have IBS and I’m bloated all the time but I didn’t think someone I love could be so cruel. He’s says he’s telling me for my own good 🥲I want to give up

OP posts:
Onwards22 · 02/06/2022 22:25

You should never ever feel self conscious or uncomfortable in your own home.

Your partner should make you feel like the most beautiful women who ever walked the Earth.

If he doesn’t see you like that then why I’d he even with you - it’s because he enjoys making you feel like shit.

Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone like that?

MistyGreenAndBlue · 02/06/2022 22:26

Any man who spoke to me like that would only do it once.

Dump immediately. You only get one life. Don't waste another minute of it on this loser.

Remember, he's only putting you down to make his own sad self feel better. Tragic really.

Thepeopleversuswork · 02/06/2022 22:31

OP please don’t think you have to stay with this arsehole for your DC.

By far the best thing you can do for a child is model healthy relationships to them and not allow them to witness their father abusing their mother.

I can absolutely guarantee you that you will be a million times happier without him. He doesn’t deserve you.

Stylishkidintheriot · 02/06/2022 22:31

im fat. DH has never been nasty about it.

only thing is that he’s suggested that maybe we could lose a few pounds together as the extra weight isn’t healthy

eddiemairswife · 02/06/2022 22:35

Perhaps he's telling the truth. What is your weight?

domestichiefofstaff · 02/06/2022 22:38

#eddie really?!! Even if she was huge, he should still feel honoured to be with her!
Are you someone whose only redeeming feature is size 10 jeans.
It costs nothing to be kind

MugginsOverEre · 02/06/2022 22:39

eddiemairswife · 02/06/2022 22:35

Perhaps he's telling the truth. What is your weight?

Twat

RealBecca · 02/06/2022 22:47

Confidence and courage are emotional attachments to a behaviour.

What would a confident and courageous person do? Do that.

You get confidence and self worth by behaving as if you have it.

Ignire your "faults"... in a month will you feel better for taking the behaviour you consider confident or trying to lose weight and please a man who will always find a way to bully you?

He is an abusive bully.

RealBecca · 02/06/2022 22:49

@eddiemairswife perhaps he is. But there are ways and means. Tactfully, one might say your comment is direct. Another way would be "twat".

blackOrWhite · 02/06/2022 22:50

Oh Op, I want to give you a cuddle Flowers

Imagine what your DC would say to you if they were older? Do you think they would be happy to see their mum upset and their dad not respecting her and being nasty?
You don't want DC to grow to be the same as you partner, and for this attitude to become their norm.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. He doesn't deserve you.

dillydallydollydaydream7 · 02/06/2022 22:56

This really makes me sad OP Flowers no one deserves to be made to feel like that by someone who is supposed to love them.

What would you say to your DC if was 20+ years down the line and you found out their OH was talking/treating them how yours is?

Have you family you could stay with? He sounds absolutely horrible and does not deserve your love and company a second longer.

iklboo · 02/06/2022 22:56

Perhaps he's telling the truth. What is your weight?

What's his? Unless he's Chris Hemsworth himself (and even then it's close to the bone) he can fuck right off. Embarrassed by OP? Telling her to hide in the car? And he's systematically sought to destroy OP's self esteem.

Telling you 'for your own good'. Fucking test. He'd get a 'well off you fuck then, cuntychops' from me OP. You're better off rid of him.

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/06/2022 23:01

You haven't got the courage to leave because he has taken away every last shred of confidence you have, that was his end game.

He knows he is a piece of crap that no self respecting woman would give the time of day to, so he finds a good woman, plays the part of a hero and then systematically sets about destroying her so she doesnt leave him.

The irony that as bad as you feel about yourself, he feels worse about himself so he has to take you down a few pegs (or a few more pegs) just to make his own pathetic self feel a little less pathetic.

You need, in no particular order, the Freedom Program, "Why does he do that" by Lundy Bancroft and to keep posting on MN so that we can assure you, day after day, that you are worth so much more than that arsehole.

AvocadosAreTheDevil · 02/06/2022 23:03

You can ditch 70+ kg in a heart beat if you tell him to sling his hook. That's awful. Also, fat is not the worst thing someone can be. Ffs, I am angry on your behalf OP.

Longdistance · 02/06/2022 23:06

Well, clearly his ex was sensible and dumped his arse!
what an awful man!

dillydallydollydaydream7 · 02/06/2022 23:06

eddiemairswife · 02/06/2022 22:35

Perhaps he's telling the truth. What is your weight?

Seriously? I'm sorry but someone who he someone's best interests at heart wouldn't chip away at their confidence and try to slowly destroy them until they feel unable to leave.

As for asking op their weight, what's yours? I mean if you're assuming they're willing to post their weight on a public forum then clearly you should lead by example...

🙄

NotAScoobyToBeSeen · 02/06/2022 23:09

Whywould you stay for the kids? So they can see how a relationship shouldn't be?

You could lose weight, he willalwaysbe an arsehole. Youre worth 10 of him

Mariposista · 02/06/2022 23:11

Nah OP, this is just nasty. Especially the comparing you with the ex bit. If he were a decent man and was genuinely concerned about your weight causing you health problems, because he wants to have a long, healthy life with you, there are kinder ways to go about it. The word fat is just unproductive and won't encourage you to adopt healthy habits at all. LTB, there are nicer men out there! I bet he wouldn't like you talking about the size of his willy!

FlippityFlapperty · 02/06/2022 23:11

So, he’s had relationships with two ‘fat’ women and told both of you that you needed to lose weight. The common denominator here is him because he’s a prick that enjoys pulling women down. You have anxiety and IBS and he’s pointing out your stomach in a critical way? He’s a shit bag, OP. He lacks all sensitivity.

allboysherebutme · 02/06/2022 23:12

Get rid of him. X

pigsDOfly · 02/06/2022 23:20

Staying together for a child often isn't in the child's best interest.

Find the courage to leave and perhaps you'll be happy enough not to need to comfort eat.

Find the courage to leave and perhaps your new found peace of mind will bring an end to the IBS.

It's not easy to make huge changes but it is possible.

Ahurricaneofjacarandas · 02/06/2022 23:22

You need Prime Minister Hugh Grant to have him murdered by the SAS 🤣

Seriously though hun get rid! I've put on a fair bit of weight and my hubby wouldn't even dream of acknowledging it never mind being derogatory about it x

Frazzledmummy123 · 02/06/2022 23:25

eddiemairswife · 02/06/2022 22:35

Perhaps he's telling the truth. What is your weight?

Mumsnet at it's best 🙄

pigsDOfly · 02/06/2022 23:25

Ahurricaneofjacarandas · 02/06/2022 23:22

You need Prime Minister Hugh Grant to have him murdered by the SAS 🤣

Seriously though hun get rid! I've put on a fair bit of weight and my hubby wouldn't even dream of acknowledging it never mind being derogatory about it x

Honestly? The OP says she's in pieces and you're making stupid jokes with crying-laughing emoji?

Ahurricaneofjacarandas · 02/06/2022 23:31

pigsDOfly · 02/06/2022 23:25

Honestly? The OP says she's in pieces and you're making stupid jokes with crying-laughing emoji?

Show quote history

Oh do get a grip! I made a joke then I made it clear I support her. Sorry though I forgot it's 2022 and you aren't allowed to joke any more...

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