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AIBU?

Teenagers next door

108 replies

purplephazersettostun · 01/06/2022 13:20

My neighbour has two teenage children. One sitting A-level and one GCSE's which means they're on study leave apart from exams.

They have a kind of teenage snug at the end of their garden - glorified shed really with lights and speakers etc. This means that from 11am every day they are blasting (bad) dance music till 11pm at night. The night time I can cope with, but I work from home, and the only place I can work is the dining room - which is their side of the house. I am really struggling with working and having meetings with incessant music and screeching of teens. I mentioned it to neighbour who rolled her eyes and said to just ignore it.

I've got 3 months of this ahead of me! I don't have an office I can work from to escape it. And soon I will want the window open too. How can I explain that this is an issue and that EVERY SINGLE DAY and constant music isn't really acceptable?

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Am I being unreasonable?

359 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
19%
You are NOT being unreasonable
81%
BadAtMaths2 · 01/06/2022 13:23

Work out what you can cope with - e.g. music after 5.30 and go back and talk to neighbour. If nothing changes then say you will have to contact the council.

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user1471538283 · 01/06/2022 13:26

You have to tell your neighbor straight that it stops right now.

There is nothing worse than loud music and you have to work!

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orwellwasright · 01/06/2022 13:26

I feel for you. When I was this age if the neighbour had come round to my parents and said I was disturbing them all day, every day I'd have absolutely been told to wind it in and stop being antisocial.

But that was a billion years ago and now it's all MY LIFE MY RULES and the Mumsnet favourite 'if you don't like noise go live in the middle of nowhere on you own'. Rampant individualism reigns on here.

All you can do is keep asking them to tone it down. You're not being unreasonable. Good luck.

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HereIAmBrainTheSizeOfAPlanet · 01/06/2022 13:34

Study leave lasts 3 months?!

Speaking to the parents might be a waste of time. They sound scummy. You could ask them to turn the music down between certain times.

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purplephazersettostun · 01/06/2022 13:37

She likes to make herself out to be the "fun mum" for all her kids friends, so they tend to have half a garden full most days. And I do understand that it's nice for them to have this summer times at their age.
Neighbour did suggest I use one of those we-work offices where you can rent a desk for the day, but they're quite expensive compared to what I actually earn so it's just not an affordable solution.

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purplephazersettostun · 01/06/2022 13:37

HereIAmBrainTheSizeOfAPlanet · 01/06/2022 13:34

Study leave lasts 3 months?!

Speaking to the parents might be a waste of time. They sound scummy. You could ask them to turn the music down between certain times.

No - but it's 3 months before they go back to school / start uni!

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DoubleDiamond · 01/06/2022 13:40

You can report them to noise control.

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LilacPoppy · 01/06/2022 13:40

Just work in a different room, unless your whole property consists of a dining room and bathroom only then it’s possible.

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purplephazersettostun · 01/06/2022 13:41

We do things she doesn't approve of which we're not willing to stop (current bug bear of her's is we did no-mow-may - so didn't mow our lawn during May (it will be done tomorrow!) and won't cut our hedge during bird nesting season. They have fake grass / astroturf), and she see's these things as equal. But I'm slowly being driven mad by the constant music and screeching and can't escape it!

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toomuchlaundry · 01/06/2022 13:44

That level of noise is not reasonable everyday whether you are WFH or not.

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purplephazersettostun · 01/06/2022 13:44

LilacPoppy · 01/06/2022 13:40

Just work in a different room, unless your whole property consists of a dining room and bathroom only then it’s possible.

As I said, dining room is the only real option I have for working. I have to be able to work at a desk with an additional screen and a decent chair. Neither bedroom is large enough to add a desk without removing either a bed or wardrobe. Husband works in lounge 4 days a week, and kitchen is open plan into dining room. I'm not willing to perch on my bed to work 40 hours a week and end up in agony all the time.

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Curiosity101 · 01/06/2022 13:45

There are noise cancelling headphones designed for use in places like call centres that would fix your problem. Myself and DH bought a pair each so that we can work next to eachother in the same home office.

We've got Jabra Evolve2 85 and Jabra Evolve 75.

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doodleygirl · 01/06/2022 13:46

@HereIAmBrainTheSizeOfAPlanet why such derogatory language, they dont sound scummy, they just sound like teenagers who are totally wrapped up in themselves.

My suggestion would be to go back round to the parents and explain that the constant noise level is too loud and you would rather sort it out between yourselves than involve the council. Hopefully that will make them understand the seriousness. Good luck, noise when trying to work is particularly irritating.

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orwellwasright · 01/06/2022 13:47

She likes to make herself out to be the "fun mum"

These fun types sure are good at making other people's lives miserable.

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BlanketsBanned · 01/06/2022 13:51

Maybe the teens can use headphones or earbuds instead of op having to wear noise cancelling headphones in her own home, I agree tomspeak to them again qnd say if its not resolved you will sadly have to involve the council noise team.

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Alliumpoppyrose · 01/06/2022 13:56

Download or look up "15000 Hz 15 kHz Sine Wave" on you tube or internet.
Play this on an outdoor speaker or portable blue tooth speaker placed as close to their shed as possible on your side of fence and hide it with plastic sheet or cammo net. Generally older people will not hear it and its difficult to record to report.

Play it when they go out, no one will hear it apart from them. leave it going on full volume on repeat. As its high pitch its poor at penetrating solid walls so no one should hear it in side the house. If they complain just claim you have a cat scarer and you cannot turn it off 😄

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CoralBells · 01/06/2022 13:58

orwellwasright · 01/06/2022 13:26

I feel for you. When I was this age if the neighbour had come round to my parents and said I was disturbing them all day, every day I'd have absolutely been told to wind it in and stop being antisocial.

But that was a billion years ago and now it's all MY LIFE MY RULES and the Mumsnet favourite 'if you don't like noise go live in the middle of nowhere on you own'. Rampant individualism reigns on here.

All you can do is keep asking them to tone it down. You're not being unreasonable. Good luck.

Agree with this. I've got teenagers a similar age and wouldn't let them do this. I've brought them up to be considerate. It does them no favours in the long run to bring them up to be antisocial

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Ferngreen · 01/06/2022 14:02

I think giving a time when they can play their music loud might work eg 5 pm
Bit the novelty might wear off ........surely

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Kite22 · 01/06/2022 14:12

My suggestion would be to go back round to the parents and explain that the constant noise level is too loud and you would rather sort it out between yourselves than involve the council. Hopefully that will make them understand the seriousness. Good luck, noise when trying to work is particularly irritating.

This.

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PizzaPizza56 · 01/06/2022 14:14

Why can't you work from the office? I went back in as soon as we could because the logistics of wfh weren't practical.

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Edinvillian · 01/06/2022 14:24

Off topic, but why don't you mow your lawn in May?

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Kris02 · 01/06/2022 14:28

orwellwasright · 01/06/2022 13:26

I feel for you. When I was this age if the neighbour had come round to my parents and said I was disturbing them all day, every day I'd have absolutely been told to wind it in and stop being antisocial.

But that was a billion years ago and now it's all MY LIFE MY RULES and the Mumsnet favourite 'if you don't like noise go live in the middle of nowhere on you own'. Rampant individualism reigns on here.

All you can do is keep asking them to tone it down. You're not being unreasonable. Good luck.

Yes, 'rampant individualism' is a good way of putting it. Even as a sulky, selfish teenager I was aware of other people. My first thought would have been "this music is probably pi**ing off the neighbours – better keep it down."

It might sound odd, but the end of the class system is partly to blame. When I was a child (late '70s to early '80s), people were more class conscious. They didn't want their neighbours to consider them (or their children) 'common' or 'low class'. Children were taught to be polite. They were also taught to defer to the older generation. That has all gone. Whereas fifty years ago people aspired to be eloquent, tasteful, well-mannered, etc (classy, in other words), all that matters today is money. Some people seem almost proud of their ignorance, vulgarity and commonness. They flaunt it.

It's the same with these damn noisy cars. In the last few years, people seem to have bought noisier and noisier engines. And it's now the fashion to modify your exhaust in order to create a hideous banging and popping sound. It just baffles me that people can be SO selfish. Either it literally never occurs to them that it might annoy others, or they think it's funny.

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2bazookas · 01/06/2022 14:29

Record it , indoors with windows shut. Speak to neighbour again and say you hope the noise nuisance can be handled without recourse to a formal complaint.

Some years ago a local hotel opened its French doors to its garden and laid on amplified musical "entertainment" to the beergarden guests. After an hour or two I phoned the manager with a polite request . He quite politely suggested I might be a bit unreasonable making a fuss over people enjoying sunshine. I replied " I live over a mile away and its disturbing us INDOORS with all doors and windows shut. You can hear it on this phone; and I'm recording." He got the message loud and clear, instant result.

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toomuchlaundry · 01/06/2022 14:31

Not all offices have gone back fully @PizzaPizza56

Also the noise level of the teenagers isn't acceptable whether you are someone WFH, SAHP or retired. You need to have consideration for your neighbours. I wouldn't let our teen DC be this inconsiderate

My understanding is that no mow May is for insects.

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Bonheurdupasse · 01/06/2022 14:32

Alliumpoppyrose · 01/06/2022 13:56

Download or look up "15000 Hz 15 kHz Sine Wave" on you tube or internet.
Play this on an outdoor speaker or portable blue tooth speaker placed as close to their shed as possible on your side of fence and hide it with plastic sheet or cammo net. Generally older people will not hear it and its difficult to record to report.

Play it when they go out, no one will hear it apart from them. leave it going on full volume on repeat. As its high pitch its poor at penetrating solid walls so no one should hear it in side the house. If they complain just claim you have a cat scarer and you cannot turn it off 😄

This OP.
Ignore the naysayers who'll be coming along to tell you that would be unfair to the poor darlings, or some other innocent poor darlings.

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