People who talk too much

[Chataholic]

(I’m one of them), can we be rehabilitated?

I like chatty people. Takes the pressure off me. All my best friends are big talkers.

I struggle to deal with people taking about other people who I have never met.

It's inanity I can't stand

I was talking to someone who said she's a complete extrovert and that one thing she's mindful of is her need to talk to discover what she's going to say. It's like she's verbally working it out. I tend to find that exhausting but understanding it has given me more patience with people who talk a lot.

Be nice to yourself! Maybe talking is just your way of being in the world, processing stimulus, analyzing information, finding meaning...

God you reminded me of a flat mate at Uni who just never stopped talking! Never read body language, didn’t matter if you never replied and were visibly bored by the endless inanity. I just got up and walked out of the room once. To get ready for bed. She followed me, talking non stop, into the bathroom whilst I cleaned my teeth, into my bedroom and stood there talking and talking at me whilst I was in actually in bed!
And she was so boring! No one can be interesting when they talk so much! It just becomes words for the sake of words!

I'm friendly and chatty. I always thought I was an over talker and have been making a conscious effort to listen to people rather than wait to talk.

We've had a new starter in our office. She's been with us for two months and she does not stop for a breath. I honestly don't know how she gets any work done. She did take the humpf with me last week when I told her I needed to stop chatting and put my headphones on so I could concentrate on a piece of work.

Just remember to use your ears too. And never be afraid of silences - silences are sometimes when good chat is formed.

If you are always chatting does that mean you don't listen to other people? That is the bit that will piss them off. Although personally I find people who talk too much exhausting - I like peace and quiet!

I hope I listen, and I like silence too, when I’m driving or reading or thinking. One pleasure at a time! I just spend a lot of time talking. Once I apologised to some people who live nearby in case a gathering at mine the night before had disturbed them and they said it was fine, all they could hear was my voice, but they were used to it. Argh.

When does chatty become garrulous?

That sounds quite hard on her listener though. I remember a friend talking about a relative who never stopped talking - the way she put it was that having a two or three year old who started sentences with no idea how they were going to end was cute. Having an adult do this is exhausting.

Do you read body language and make sure people are okay with your chattiness?

I get the "enthusiastic when you find stuff in common" thing. But before I launch into a deep analysis of Fleabag or whatever mutual thing we've found, I ask them if they actually want to hear it.

I have ended up being quiet on many topics because so many people latch on to controversial subjects for debate. I hate doing this, plus my views are mostly offensive in 2022!

Re your neighbours - are you loud, if yours is the only voice they heard?

This is me too. I actually need to be with chatty people to balance out my quietness. OTOH I blame my Mother for turning me into a quiet person as I could never get a word in. A conversation depends on turn taking so it is a bit annoying when someone takes all of the turns.

after all the threads on this, and so many people saying how annoying it is… I do wonder what is the alternative? Silence? Meeting up with friends and saying nothing? The odd mumble? Whats the point, surely life is about talking, laughing etc … 🤷‍♀️

Chatty is fine (and nice) as long as you give other people the space to talk too and don’t just go on and on without checking their level of interest or inviting their contributions.

I’m quite chatty but I’m very aware of others and pick up in their body language. I find it easy to start conversations with random dog walkers, checkout staff etc. I’m interested in people It’s odd really as I was always a shy child.

It's fine if you're with others who like to talk lots and you're giving them ample opportunity to join in with the conversation.

I'm a bit the opposite. I don't talk lots and I'm happy with periods of quiet. I was seeing a guy who was a talker. Some of what he said was interesting but I found he'd talk about anything and everything to fill any silences. He also barely stopped to take a breath and wouldn't let me interject into the conversation. We couldn't watch a tv show without him rabbiting on and I'd miss most of it. In the end I had to call quits on the relationship as we were too different.

I have a friend I can only cope with in small doses because she talks at you and over you constantly. Even if she actively asks your opinion on something she will cut you dead before you finish your first sentence and just keep right on taking as though you didn't even open your mouth.
She's a lovely person at heart but her listening skills are dire.
On the other hand my kids who have seen this in action have had a masterclass on the importance of listening and turn taking so every cloud... Don't be that person.
But enthusiasm, two way flow, curiosity in many topics, bring it on. 😊

There's a person I work with who does not stop for air for the entire time. I find it unbelievable. If she does take a breath, someone else goes to answer, she doesn't let them, she just answers for them. It's like she would rather talk to herself. It drives everyone mad.

I feel seen - and I feel judged!

Tbh I try and be aware to stop and ak questions and listen too - people are fascinating which is why I like talking to them.

Gaaaaaah! I do this too 🫤

I can hear myself and I can see people glazing over but it just doesn't stop. I know I'm responsible for my own behaviour but it's like a little switch flips inside me and I'm helpless to stop it.

I'm also ashamed to admit that I interrupt people too. It's very common in my immediate family and it drives me crazy but I realise that I do it too.

After a recent night out, where the talking and interrupting we're wildly out of control, I've made it a priority in my life to try to reduce the talk by at least 50% and stop interrupting people entirely.

Wish me luck!!

I love how me & DH can just be quiet.
I can't be doing with people who just can't stop talking.
If it's a catch up chat and we haven't seen each other for a while, I get that. But it's just the insane incessant chatter about things I have no I treat in or people I don't know.

I’m very chatty but I also like time alone so probably over chat around people

I’m social quite awkward so go into wittering overdrive

and I give far too many details when telling a story 😬 I’m not good at telling funny stories as I over explain or go off on a tangent I often think I sound like a child

and I talk over people all my friends do we are are similar my mum has asked me a few times how we keep up with each other but we just do 😆

Quiet and shy people are regularly told they "need to talk more" and expected to force themselves to chat out of politeness to the chatty person. Why can't we expect chatty people to tone it down a bit in return?

Being boring, going on and on about irrelevant stuff or things others aren't interested in

I find a lot of over talkers fall in to this category, unable to read the room and sense that people aren’t interested in their witterings

chatty people who chat in 2 way conversation are wonderful, people who talk at you and never listen are awful

😆 I didn’t answer your question op i just carried on chatting

erm not sure. I have to listen a lot at work and I manage to thats fine as I am in work mode

but otherwise why should we everyone has an annoying trait (though I do try to stop interrupting)