. I am extremely fortunate in that I have never come across negativity either to my disability or the fact that I have a child. I have come across a lot of ignorance though, it is widely documented on here for instance, that one day in m&s the assistant asked me if my guide dog helps with the cooking .
I have also had comments from people such as ?how ever do you cope? and had one comment from someone who said ?well it?s probably bestyou haven?t had any more children (have been ttc for nearly three years now) it must have been hard enough for you to cope with one.?. My general view on people that make comments like that though are that they are predominantly ignorant, and that most comments really aren?t made out of prejudice but ignorance, and that while I think a nasty comeback is often the most tempting thought, the best approach is to try to educate, and to try and do it without showing irritation or upset, much easier said than done I know. (doesn?t mean I don?t go home and bitch to dh about ?the ignorant tosser I met today though .?
I also think how you come across can influence how you are perceived by others. For instance, I am a very confident person and I am very independent. I don?t see being blind as a disability, not for me, yes there are things I can?t do such as drive a car, but for the most part I do everything that anyone else does. I have a 5 year old son, I help out at school once a week, am on the PTA, and in the process of worming my way on to the governors, I am a sahm as that is the choice I made, but I am a keen cook and cook everything from scratch, I volunteer to help out at school discos ett and if anyone has ever had an issue with that they couldn?t really have said it because I am confident in the person I am iykwim? But on the flip side I have a friend who has no confidence what so ever. This isn?t due to her disability but due to other issues she?s had in her life, but her lack of confidence has manifested itself in her seeing herself as blind and nothing else. To the extent she has only blind friend, goes to blind social groups, and only applies for jobs in the disability sector. As consequence she says that only blind people treat her normally, and IMO it has a lot to do with how she comes across. She makes her blindness an issue, so to people that know no better, it is.
One thing I also found helps is that I have a guide dog. I don?t know why, but people do seem to treat you differently when you have a guide dog, I think in a way a white stick is seen almost as a symbol of disability, whereas a dog, although still being a mobility aid, is seen more as something people can relate to. It?s hard to explain, but I found that when I was training with my last dog and had to use a cane while he was still unqualified, less people stopped to let me cross the road than did when I had the dog with me. Tis odd and I can?t explain why. have you considered getting a dog? Because the freedom a dog will give you will far outweigh that you would have when using a cane.
I would certainly ditch the slogan t-shirts. You do not need to wear your disability as a label, and I don?t think they do you any favours. I?m sorry to say that I think a lot of people viewing a disabled person with a t-shirt like that would consider them to have a bit of a chip on their shoulder.
And in future I would just be inclined to join in the ?are they allowed to have children? conversations by saying something like ?well, having no sight does have its advantages, after all, I can do nappy changes etc in the dark, which means that baby won?t wake fuly and is likely just to go straight back to sleep, as opposed to those babies who wake fully when the light is turned on in the middle of the night.".
remember, the more positively you are perceived, the more people you will educate, and the less people will have to endure such ignorance in the future.