To want to murder all people who make nasty comments about me being a Blind, Pregnant Mum?

[BlindBint]

Hi,
Just wondering if any one has any ideas on witty comments to give to people when they say things about me being a blind mum and pregnant, or if anyone has any thoughts on how to deal with these people in a way that makes them think twice. I'd welcome suggestions whether you have an impairment of any kind or not.

Also, If you saw a Blind, pregnant woman out and about with her 10 year old daughter, what would your first thoughts be?

I am 29, and have discovered that a great way to deal with this is to have a few t-shirts with cheeky phrases printed on them. Two of my most recent ones are "Keep staring...I might do a trick!", and "Yes, I'm Blind. Yes, I'm Pregnant. GET OVER IT!!"

Best hurtful comments so far have been "I didn't think people like that were allowed to have children"
"Oooh, I bet that little girl has a horrible life"
and the most wonderful one came when I was STOOD UP on a bus (No-one would give me a seat), with my bump fully visible-two women were openly debating amongst themselves if I actually was pregnant or not. I was right next to them and could hear every word they said. They came to the conclusion that I wasn't pregnant, but I was wearing "One of those fake bumps, you know, like what they have in america to give to teenagers so that they don't get broody or don't get pregnant"

AAARRRGGGHHHHH!

I've only been Blind for 3 years! What was I supposed to do? Lock my daughter in a cupboard just because I lost my sight?!

BB, loving the braile screen on your mobile comment- my dh suggested that this was how you were reading these messages - i told him he was a twat, and then we saw your message about the mobile phone! he now feels terribly ignorant - as he is!

congrats on your pegnancy, your dd sounds fab.

Hi, I am a lurker who was motivated to join after reading your post.

I was brought up by my blind (single parent)mother, a wonderful woman who despite working full time, managed to raise me AND my cousin AND raise many thousands of pounds for the GDBA.

I have grown up to be happily married with 2 beautiful kids, have always worked and am currently studying for my Masters.

I remember being visited by the Social Work Dept, as an infant following some idiot's complaint about "How can that blind woman be allowed to bring up a child?" They came once, noted my advanced development and vocabulary, saw how happy and content I was, and never came back.

I share your anger, no doubt your kids will turn out just like me, WELL able to stand up for themselves, and others! Keep up the good work and congratulations on your pregnancy.

xxx

Hi BlindBint.
Am on your behalf but really pleased to see how positive your response is, particularly for your daughter.
I'm the child of two profoundly deaf parents and know how stupid people can be about disability. My parents always instilled in me a sense of pride about our family and myself which is far more important than the opinions of some really ignorant strangers.

In answer to your first question BlindBint, if I saw a blind, pregnant woman, my first thought would be 'I wonder when she's due'. Which is pretty much my first thought when I see any pregnant woman.

I am really sad to hear some of the comments people make. Sadly, ignorance is widespread. I love the retorts that some people have suggested.

Congratulations in advance for the new arrival.

Congratulations on your pregnancy

I can sympathise; I was wheelchair bound due to pregnancy and could see people staring at me, heavily pregnant being pushed around the shops by DH. I actually caught a couple of comments about, "Why do people like that get pregnant". I was too shocked to smack them or point out that it was the pregnancy which had caused my immobility. Tossers!

On a plus note, your daughter sounds cool!

Right, so you're blind and pregnant...don't you know you should be sitting at home all day and not foisting yourself on the unsuspecting general public?!!

Honestly, who do these people think they are? Rudeness doesn't cover it.

Trip them up with your stick and say sweetly 'Oooops I didn't see you there, obviously'

Or you could say mournfully 'Yes I'm pregnant. Unfortunately I didn't see who was responsible...sometimes horrible things happen...' and let your voie trail away. That will make them squirm at least.

Oh my god.....wonderful!
I'm so glad I found this website!

Go get em, BB!!!

Only read op.
for you that people have said such outrageously rude things to/about you.
I have to say I don't like the slogan t-shirts though. They come across as aggressive.

I apologise for fellow members of the human race being nasty brutish and short rude

I'm shocked and saddened by those horrible comments you got BB!

Hopefully it is just an ignorant, if noisy, minority who are this stupid!

Congratulations on being pregnant and welcome to mumsnet!

Am so shocked! It wouldn't even cross my mind to question why a blind woman was pregnant?? What difference does it make? You have adapted your lifestyle to deal with your blindness - does that mean that children should be built into the equation?

I am so unbelievebly gobsmacked I almost don't believe you (said in the nicest way - clearly I do believe you but it is just so shocking).

Congratulations on your pregnancy, your bubba is a lucky LO to have such a fab switched on mumma

grrr this does make me so cross!! You and your daughter both sound fantastic!

Congratulations on your pregnancy, too. That will be so exciting, feeling your new baby in your arms for the first time!

Have just thought of a reply - if people talk about you in the third person as if you're not there then you could cut into their conversation in the third person with, "and she's not deaf either". Use of an unexpected pronoun opens up a whole new world of cynicism which they're too stunned to reply to

BB - when i was pg i had a t-shirt that had a wipe clean panel on the front. you could write a slogan and then wipe it off and write another one! it was my favourite maternity top, and dh wore it the other day so it was multi-purpose! (unfortunately without noticing it still had "I'm just fat" written on it!! )

My favourite, when out with my Blind Mum is to state loudly "Sorry Mum, didn't realise being blind meant being totally incapable.!!

Then we snigger and walk on.

Welcome to Mumsnet BlindBint...I'm profoundly deaf so could be Deafbint! ha ha!

I have a 19mnth old DS so I know how much extra work you have to put in having a disability and a child so well done to you and your daughter sounds fab!

So far, I don't think I've had any negative comments...but then again, my disability is not that visible as I don't sign and anyway, am not sure I would hear them if there were any!! lol!! Have noticed that deaf parents signing to their children get a lot of stares and it really cheeses me off - its like because people are disabled, they shouldn't be having kids or something! Could quite easily go off on a rant over this, but as my DS has the most advanced vocab in his group in nursery with all hearing parents, I won't!!! lol!!

Pussin - can I ask a personal question (just general interest and possibly ignorance). How do you know when LO is crying if you are alone? Do you have monitors etc? I hope you don't mind me asking am just in awe of how you cope - being a new mum without being deaf is hard enough

Wilkie - I just love this question because I can get to brag about all manner of things I have that vibrate

I have a pager that clips to me in the day time with 4 different sections - doorbell, phone, baby and fire alarm. Each section has a light and the things I want to be alerted to - baby, doorbell etc have a sensor placed next to them, so if one goes off, the corresponding light goes off on the pager.

At night, the pager goes into a charging cradle and..this is where it gets fun as it links to an under matress vibrating pad about the size of a tea plate to wake me up at night. I also have CCTV thingy and standard Tomy monitor.

I've actually found though, that now I'm quite tuned in to DS's crying and noise - and at 19mths he's pretty loud these days, so during the day, I can manage without the pager (unless I go for a nap and take hearing aid out) and use just my hearing aid...not too bad really....although does get knackering when DH is on night shifts and DS makes noises in his sleep - it sets the pager off as I have it on the most sensitive level so I then feel I just have to check him to make sure, even with CCTV!!! He is my first born though....am sure if have second or third will be different!! lol!

WOW! Vibrating things - such fun

Thanks for answering, think you are truly amazing

Well I won't argue with that!

Am roffling at the T-shirt ideas for BlindBint - I would not be offended if saw that on the bus, would probably laugh so hard, I'd leave a puddle on the bus seat and come on mnet to find a thread 'aibu to be annoyed that a mad cow on bus next to me today laughed so hard she pissed herself'

First thoughts? Oh I wonder if that's Wannabe' (because I like Wannabe

PLease, don't let poeple upset you. I now I get talked about at teh school deciding to ahev a fourth child when two of mine are disabled with autism, something that could well affect this one too. but it's not their life, they're not the ones who will have to pick up any pieces or go the extra mile- so what right have they to judge? None at all.

Message withdrawn

Blindbint - nothing more to add to some of the great witty comments on here. Am truly disgusted by the kind of comments you have had to endure.

Bringing up a baby is hard enough when you don't have a disability so to do it with a disability makes you a very special person.

I wish you well for the rest of your pregnancy and look forward to hearing about your birth story.

Message withdrawn

Well BB if I saw you out and about I would offer you a seat on the bus (as for any pregnant person)! Congratulations on your pregnancy - and I'm as shocked as everyone else at this rudeness. If you're new to MN, welcome and I hope it is very useful for you as a mum, as it is for us all.