Erection touble / Other issues

[stardrop8]

I have dated a man in his late 30's for several months.

There have been a few red flags - involving the most emotive of issues - namely sex and money .

We have been unable to have sex because he cannot maintain an erection.
He blames alcohol and tiredness each time. He blamed me last time we seen each other for wanting to go for dinner first; and he felt if we were to have had sex when he arrived at my house before we went for dinner it would have resulted in us having sex finally. However, I ruined his grand plan.

He seems fixated with if we were to live together I would pay more towards the house deposit and mortgage as I earn significantly higher (6-7 times) than him. My issue is that I feel he has been alluding to be a 'kept man' and I think sees me as a bit of a cash cow for his future. All dates including the first have been split 50/50, but I do pick up more of the tabs. He will not rush to pay if we went for drinks / coffee / other.
There are a few other examples of this type of behaviour and a pattern has emerged.

I do not mind being an equal partner - but I think it is just a bit odd the assumptions he is making so early on. Also, with his delivery being more a monologue rather than discussion. He seemed to think if we stayed together we would 'merge finances into one big pot'.

Anyway I think I am going to throw this one back. Does anyone feel AIBU to do this? I feel like I want to Run as fast as I can.

In my experience it will not improve and definitely not on its own.

Run.
He isn't that into you, as he never seems to make an effort.
He is already blaming you for his problems.
He is after your money.
You deserve MORE from a new relationship

A man who genuinely thinks his inability to get an erection is down to alcohol won't have alcohol an evening he's seeing you...!

If the guy I was dating was doing the job I did and was stressed as I had been - my intution would be to go to them and spend time with them.

I think I have emasculated him TBH

This is ridiculous. Stop questioning yourself. Or him. Or the situation. Or X. Or Y. Or anything.

End it. Now. Block. And never think about him again.

Its not that he doesn't find you attractive OP. He knows he has a problem as he's blaming it on drink or tiredness.
I hope thats the bottom of your trainers I can see moving speedily in the distance.
Not a keeper on any level.

You should be doing a Usain Bolt on this man!

He sounds older than his years if I'm honest. What does he bring to your life? Not in the future, right now? He seems to want a lot from you without bringing much of anything to the table himself. Does he show he cares for you at all?

He'll keep making excuses for his impotence and only you know if that's something you can live with.

Cannot say he brings much to the table

He went to an elite boarding school and I think it has bred this utter entitlement and generalised confidence from nowhere.

He explained to me what 'halitosis' meant. He said 'halitosis is the medical name for bad breath'.

Me. Having worked in health care for 11 years and studying healthcare prior to that. Of course I would know what halitosis meant.

Are you having us on?
Why are you taking time to reply to us & prolong things?
He’s a loser.
Ditch him. Get it done & move on.

Its done

Blocked xx

Oh OP how thoughtful of him not to want to damage you with his enormous cock.

He sounds like he has narc tendencies there OP - totally full of himself and nothing is ever his fault. Stop questioning where it all went wrong and tell him clearly it's over.

Its such a weird comment isnt it??

Late to the shitshow party, but well done for seeing the light and ditching/blocking this utter waste of skin, OP.

Onwards and upwards 🙌

A golddigger who isn’t even subtle about his intentions and has ED that he won’t do anything about?

I’d rather stay single the rest of my life. Absolutely YANBU.

He told me he met a woman once on match and she had checked his profile out many more times after their first date. That 'put him off' and he did not want to see her again. He told me about another who was 'obsessed' with him and she 'had to let him down gently'.

I think he genuinely thinks he is some sort of prize?

Why do you even need to think or know about it?
Get out of his life as quickly as you can. So many red flags.

He thinks I am fucking stupid doesnt he???

@Staynow he does not think anything is his fault whatsover. It was his elite boarding schools faults he did not get the grades to get into medical school 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Yep!! Run fast and run far!! You don't need an impotent leech sucking your bank balance!!

Why are you blaming yourself for his inadequacies? Why have you persevered with such a piss-poor 'relationship'?

I'm really wondering where your self-esteem is, because the only reason I can think of is that you don't think very much of yourself.

He said also he was not sure if he wanted children - his profile clearly said he 'wanted children' and mines did too. I always find it odd when this genre of men say this - they very rarely add much to child rearing - financially, emotionally or spiritually in general and it very rarely affects their every day life as they are so selfish

Am I a massive cynic for thinking that?

Mind you how could you even get pregnant if he cannot have sex anyway??

Is it because he did not find me attractive?

Who cares what he finds?

But anyway, no. It’s about his issues, nothing to do with you.

@WhereYouLeftIt

He waa nice in the beginning it was just the ED issues

The money stuff just came out past couple of weeks
He seemed quite sweet in the beginning

He’s a red flag with death grip issues.

please don’t waste your good years on a man who wants to use you.
it would be different if you felt it worth staying with a good man with ED.

What is death grip???