Who was unreasonable regarding plane seat ?

[planerider]

Inspired by another thread.

This happened a few years ago, but it annoyed me.

The flight was around 7 hours long. I had paid extra to have the exit seat in economy, as I was suffering from a bad back. I paid quite a lot extra for the seat, it's something I try to do, as I have back problems and it helps.

The woman behind me had quite a big child on her lap during the flight and was sat next to the child's father.

Because of this, I was unable to recline my seat for the entire flight. I tried very gently reclining it a little at some stage ( before I had seen the child ) but she was angry and swore, so I put it upright.

Who was unreasonable here ? Or do we generally think anyone reclining their seat is unreasonable ? I tend to recline my seat on very long flights, when the lights are dimmed for sleeping, as do most others on those flights. I don't recline on short hall.

I think all short haul flights should have seats that don’t recline at all. Sorry but I think YWABU

I personally think it’s unreasonable to recline your seat unless it’s overnight and I’d never do it. But respect others think differently. I wouldn’t have sworn (well only to myself) 😁

It was not short haul though, at least 7 hours !

In theory you should be able to recline but in practice if there is a child on a knee or a very obese person then you cant.

Its a risk that you accept as a traveller. If not take a private jet.

I just checked online, it's 8 hours actually.

@FloweryCurtainTwitcher There’s no need to take a private jet; premium economy or business are far more affordable options.

The woman
behind could have swapped places with her partner or given him the child. Maybe if you explained… not unreasonable to want to recline on a long flight

I think a lot of people would try to sleep on a 7 or 8 hour flight so you are not unreasonable at all, OP.

I think the airline is probably unreasonable for allowing under 2s on laps for such a long flight.

Generally,reclining the seat is antisocial unless eg it is night time and there is a sort of domino effect of everyone reclining g at the same time.This rarely works . I'm not very tall and have only ever travelled in coach and find it very uncomfortable if the person in front reclines.

I think if the seat reclines it’s perfectly fine to recline it. Except during meal service, and I’d also lean around to tell the person I was going to recline it. Child could sit on dad’s lap or if they really wanted the space they should have bought another seat. They could also recline their own seat which still gives them same space.

BUT this is one of those things that in real life no one really cares about but on MN it’s a cardinal sin and the height of rudeness. Along with inviting people to weddings, drinking even 1mm of alcohol or ever leaving your spouse without a car just in case you need to drive to hospital.

Id have just reclined the seat myself. Woman could take it up with cabin crew if an issue.

How uncouth of the mother

In general you should be free to recline but in specific such as child on lap you may not be able to. As PP said its a risk everyone faces.

My sister was an air stewardess for many years and dealt with this issue on several flights a week. You are entitled to recline your seat if it has the recline function. The person behind you has to deal with it - usually the best way is to recline theirs. This is what the crew would tell you and the person behind you.

I never recline my seat on any flight. I have long legs and really hate it when the person in front does it. They usually don't bother to put their seat upright whilst eating. As the woman had a child on her knee YWBU.

Long haul planes have seats that are designed to recline. It's the airlines intent that people have the option to use them.

It's absolutely ridiculous for anyone to say that passengers shouldn't use something that has been expressly provided for them.

Of course people should use the recline considerately, recline slowly and carefully, put upright at mealtimes etc. But that's what the seat mechanism is there for.

Having said that, I'd try to live without the recline if the person behind me had a child on their lap. Especially if I was fortunate enough to have been able to get an exit row seat.

I agree that she should have shared the burden of having the child on her knee with her DH. When we travelled with our children as babies we always moved them around as it’s not comfortable for one person to have them on their lap for the whole flight. Grandad got a turn too if he was tracking with us. The problem is she was expecting you to do all the compromising which is not reasonable.

I hope your bad back did not prevent you from being able to adequately act in an emergency.

Because of this, I was unable to recline my seat for the entire flight. I tried very gently reclining it a little at some stage ( before I had seen the child ) but she was angry and swore, so I put it upright.

Did you not try to actually speak to the woman who was sitting behind you? Explain that you have a bad back? She's not a mind reader. She doesn't know that you've got a bad back or have paid extra for that specific seat.

When you say she was angry and swore, what do you mean? What did she actually say?

This idea of only reclining at night is bonkers. People cross timezones when they fly, and start/end their journey in all sorts of times and places.

I'd recline if I wanted to.

I can't remember exactly whether I tried to explain to her. I just remember gently trying to recline at some stage and her saying for fuck sake or something like that.

That was my thought too 😂

Unless the child was an infant you can recline your seat. If it was an infant than you can’t and that’s travellers risk when travelling. I once had it happen to me on a night flight from the states. A woman had a child on her seat and booted my chair when I tried reclining. The crew soon sorted it out. People think you can’t recline but actually if the seat reclines you can and there’s no laws against it unless there’s an infant sat there.

I’ve been on a night flight with a very large gentleman behind whose knees prevented me from reclining my seat - although he could recline his. Yay. That was a restful night. If the flights long haul it’s pretty fair to want to sleep at any point ( other than mealtimes). You don’t know how long their journeys been up until that point.

We had a similar issue on a plane. We had two aisle seats and I had DD on my lap. The man in front reclined and we didn't have enough room, so I passed DD to my DH across the aisle.

The stewardess said we couldn't do this as there wasn't an extra oxygen mask in the row my DH was sitting in, so DD had to remain on my lap. She told the man to put his seat up and keep it up. He wasn't happy about it. My OH offered to swap seats with him, but he'd paid to sit next to his wife and wanted to stay there.

It was a short haul daytime flight and he wasn't tall or overweight and I couldn't see any reason why he would need to recline other than he kept complaining loudly that he wasn't getting his plane nap!

I once fell asleep on a return flight from 2 weeks clubbing in Ibiza in my early 20s.

I somehow managed to fall asleep with my palms flat on the little tray table and my cheek on top of both hands. At some point during my snooze the random person in front reclined the seat and fell asleep themselves. When I woke up I was completely stuck - head locked in place and couldn't get my hands out to punch the person in front awake. Had to shout for help for about 10 minutes before someone realised where the shouting was coming from. Was completely mortified and must have had finger marks on my face for about 12 hours after being rescued by the cabin crew.

So YABU

There are absolutely no rules about not reclining seats n a plane (including when there’s an infant behind) apart from take off and landing- where the seats must be in the upright position.

Everyone has the prerogative to recline if they want. As crew I’d ask people to try to put seats up for the meal service (on a day flight only, I wouldn’t on a night flight where many sleep without eating). If passengers have an infant on their knee we do the upmost to move them to somewhere with a spare seat, or a front row, but if it’s a full plane sometimes we can’t, and that’s the gamble you take travelling with a toddler on your knee unfortunately.