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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who was unreasonable regarding plane seat ?

244 replies

planerider · 30/05/2022 13:24

Inspired by another thread.

This happened a few years ago, but it annoyed me.

The flight was around 7 hours long. I had paid extra to have the exit seat in economy, as I was suffering from a bad back. I paid quite a lot extra for the seat, it's something I try to do, as I have back problems and it helps.

The woman behind me had quite a big child on her lap during the flight and was sat next to the child's father.

Because of this, I was unable to recline my seat for the entire flight. I tried very gently reclining it a little at some stage ( before I had seen the child ) but she was angry and swore, so I put it upright.

Who was unreasonable here ? Or do we generally think anyone reclining their seat is unreasonable ? I tend to recline my seat on very long flights, when the lights are dimmed for sleeping, as do most others on those flights. I don't recline on short hall.

OP posts:
MattoMatto · 30/05/2022 16:14

Unfortunately, economy seats are built for the average person. And even then, probably at a mimimum. If you're small you probably wonder what all the fuss is about.

I’m small and find economy claustrophobic even so, so I definitely get what the fuss is about!

That said, I don’t see that there is anything awful about using a feature that has been provided to you in line with how it’s meant to be used. Reclining the seat is pretty much the only way long haul flights in economy are at all bearable, so I take with a pinch of salt anyone suggesting it’s antisocial to do it. Surely the person who finds the reclined seat intolerable is the one who should be paying for additional space.

AryaStarkWolf · 30/05/2022 16:14

WibblyWobblyLane · 30/05/2022 15:42

Fuck, really? Thanks for pointing that out to me 🙄

I presume this was addressed to me?

If you already know MN isn't one person why are you saying "MN" thinks one way about this topic but contradicts itself on a different topic?

Opinion is clearly quite divided on this one thread, voting isn't on but it reads to me 50/50 so why do you think that the same people that think people should be entitled to recline are the same people who think kids shouldn't play in their gardens in the morning?

ClocksGoingBackwards · 30/05/2022 16:18

So many people seem to think it’s a major imposition if the person in front of them reclines but it honestly didn’t occur to me that this would be a problem until I read it on MN.

It doesn’t bother me in the slightest if the person in front of me reclines which is probably why I hadn’t noticed that it would bother others, but even then I can’t understand why it’s such a big deal. The bottom of the seat backs barely move, and the top bit only goes back a couple of inches at most. Does it really make that much difference?

Honeyroar · 30/05/2022 16:23

Aghh · 30/05/2022 15:43

There’s a special place in hell for anyone on a plane that reclines their seat. You’ll meet the person there who invented it.

I don’t care how long the flight is for,
if you can’t go a dozen hours without the need to recline then pay for a bed seat in first class.

But the same applies to you though, doesn’t it- if you can’t cope with people reclining seats in front of you, like they’re perfectly entitled to do, buy a business class seat with loads of space around you..

In nearly 25 years of being cabin crew, nearly 90% of squabbles on planes were caused by people that thought they had a right to tell other people how they should have their seat backs. Thankfully most people could cope, but the ones that got angry were hard work!

RubricEnemy · 30/05/2022 16:24

Newgirls · 30/05/2022 14:32

Reclining seats in standard planes shouldn’t be a thing. They are far too cramped anyway. Just causes issues.

This is the sort of opinion I see a lot on Mumsnet. But on every flight I've been on over about 4 hours long - and I travel a lot- most people recline. Because otherwise they are uncomfortable. Or want to nap. Relax.

Ywnbu.

Traveling with a child on your lap is a choice, and it might not work out well for the parent. I would have ignored her.

UsernameNotAvailableHmm · 30/05/2022 16:25

I would like to recline my seat but I don't, as I know how it feels sitting behind someone who has reclined.

amusedbush · 30/05/2022 16:27

While I understand that everyone has the right to recline, I personally can't stand being behind anyone who reclines. I'm not well-off enough to upgrade so it's risk I take flying in economy but I dread it. I get so claustrophobic and there's no point saying "just recline yourself then" because I also have chronic pain and prefer to be bolt upright with a cushion at the small of my back. Trying to do that with the TV screen six inches from my face is not ideal, especially as I can never sleep on a flight so I'm aware of it the entire time.

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 30/05/2022 16:28

I think reclining slightly is ok, it's when people think the seat is a hammock or they're in a space rocket that it becomes a problem.😂
It's like whoa no need to rest your head in my lap.

I think if someone reclines a little too much I'll whip their eyebrows off or draw on their head.😂

RubricEnemy · 30/05/2022 16:28

UsernameNotAvailableHmm · 30/05/2022 16:25

I would like to recline my seat but I don't, as I know how it feels sitting behind someone who has reclined.

So do I. I just recline my own seat in that case. No problem.

greatblueheron · 30/05/2022 16:29

EinsteinaGogo · 30/05/2022 13:33

I think a lot of people would try to sleep on a 7 or 8 hour flight so you are not unreasonable at all, OP.

I think the airline is probably unreasonable for allowing under 2s on laps for such a long flight.

This.

GoodThinkingMax · 30/05/2022 16:30

@Honeyroar as a veteran of really long haul - Europe-Antipodes - since the age of 7, I'm quite relieved that cabin crew don't view recliners as belonging in hell. I recline my seat when I want to sleep. I'm not a dick - I don't recline when there's a meal service, but I do recline on a long haul. That's what reclining is for. And it's easy enough to manage if the passenger in front of you reclines - it's hardly in the important bit of space which is leg space.

In the OP's situation, the passenger behind her could have bought a seat for her child ...

The thing that actually riles me up more than anything are the clumsy bastards behind me who grab the back of my seat to get out of their row. They usually pull my hair while doing it & I do ask them not to. If you need to hang on to a seat to get your balance to get out of your row, grab your own seat back.

sillysmiles · 30/05/2022 16:35

I think the venn diagram of people who don't recline overlaps hugely with people who can't/don't sleep on planes!
Personally I see no value in being awake on a flight - of any length - and will sleep if I can.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 30/05/2022 16:37

If you're small you probably wonder what all the fuss is about.

im relatively small but claustrophobic so do understand the fuss. I also have a bad back which is eased a lot by reclining.

I can cope with either “policy” - everyone can have seats reclined or no one can - but it has to be consistent. What I can’t stand is sitting between a person in front who MUST have their seat back at all times, and a person behind who can’t bear it if you do.

CounsellorTroi · 30/05/2022 16:37

Anyone with long hair, please ensure you keep it all in your seat. Recently a woman in front of me went to sleep leaning sideways with her hair dangling through the seat gap almost in my lap.

TheFoxAndTheStar · 30/05/2022 16:38

if you can’t go a dozen hours without the need to recline then pay for a bed seat in first class.

But OP doesn’t need a bed. OP needs a seat which reclines. Why pay for a bed in 1st class, when you can make use of the functionality you have already paid for - a reclining seat in economy.

XjustagirlX · 30/05/2022 16:39

I always recline my seat. Unfortunately seats are designed for men which mean they are for taller people.

i am short and the way the seat headrest is curved means if I sit in it upright my neck is pushed forward by the headrest.

therefore I need to recline so my head is upright.

However I would never recline during mealtimes. And I would recline gradually.

beachcitygirl · 30/05/2022 16:40

Seats are reclinable for a reason. Anyone who doesn't like it behind you. Too bad.
If you ever get any grief - tell your crew. If they swear at you or are abusive report that to your crew as well.

We as crew recommend that customers do not decline whilst food is being served to allow others to fully utilise their tray table but it's just that. A request.

Blossomtoes · 30/05/2022 16:44

UsernameNotAvailableHmm · 30/05/2022 16:25

I would like to recline my seat but I don't, as I know how it feels sitting behind someone who has reclined.

This. And reclining or not reclining has absolutely no impact on my ability to sleep. The only time I’ve ever managed it on a plane was when I’d literally had no sleep the previous night.

musicviking1 · 30/05/2022 16:44

Nothing worse than when you get on a long haul flight and the person sat in front reclines their chair straight away. 😖

Hardbackwriter · 30/05/2022 16:45

ClocksGoingBackwards · 30/05/2022 16:18

So many people seem to think it’s a major imposition if the person in front of them reclines but it honestly didn’t occur to me that this would be a problem until I read it on MN.

It doesn’t bother me in the slightest if the person in front of me reclines which is probably why I hadn’t noticed that it would bother others, but even then I can’t understand why it’s such a big deal. The bottom of the seat backs barely move, and the top bit only goes back a couple of inches at most. Does it really make that much difference?

I think this is exactly the issue - I don't find it any issue at all to have my seat upright for the whole flight (I don't actually find reclining any more comfortable) but absolutely hate having the seat in front of me reclined. I recognise that people feel the opposite but find it as hard to grasp as you do why that is. Those few inches make a huge difference to how easily you can use the tray table, have a laptop or hold a book at a comfortable angle on your lap and whether you can comfortably see the TV screen - it might only be a few inches but it alters the usable space considerably.

LuluBlakey1 · 30/05/2022 16:59

It was years ago. Let it go!

Maddiemoosmum0203 · 30/05/2022 16:59

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Meraas · 30/05/2022 17:00

I’d say 99% of fliers are reclining on long haul nights when I fly, and yet some on MN think they belong in hell.

The numbers just don’t compute. Who are these people who don’t recline in long haul?!

ShirleyPhallus · 30/05/2022 17:02

Meraas · 30/05/2022 17:00

I’d say 99% of fliers are reclining on long haul nights when I fly, and yet some on MN think they belong in hell.

The numbers just don’t compute. Who are these people who don’t recline in long haul?!

All the mumsnet stiff necks innit

HollowTalk · 30/05/2022 17:03

Was her own seat reclined?

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