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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take the baby on holiday?

101 replies

PartyPlan · 30/05/2022 09:49

Currently on maternity leave with 8 month old baby and need a change of scenery after a hard time recently. Have checked with DH and he is happy to look after older DC who would be at nursery during the week.

Is it a terrible idea to take the baby on a trip? It would be 3 nights to Spain or Portugal for ease and a quick flight. We live close by a big airport. Can do a few days for about £400 all inclusive. We are having a bigger family holiday later in the year too so DH and other DC wouldn’t miss out in that sense. We can afford this too. Baby is really chilled and goes with the flow for the most part so is a doddle in that sense.

I would love to wander around, sit by the pool and splash with the baby, read a book when he naps, have a glass of wine on the balcony.

Part of me thinks it’s a great idea to get away and another part feels guilty for leaving older DC but I’m not sure if I have blinkers on!

YABU - this is a terrible idea that is bound to go wrong
YANBU - go for it, YOLO

OP posts:
Pumasonsatsumas · 30/05/2022 11:45

I did this with my baby. Took her to Paris for a long weekend, it was bliss. Older child didn't even miss us

ATadConfused · 30/05/2022 11:50

If your DH really doesn't mind & you have the energy, then go for it.

personally with airports/flights how they are at the moment, I'm not sure I could be bothered, but the actual trip away with the baby sounds lovely.

ilovesooty · 30/05/2022 12:03

You know your own family. I hope you have a lovely time.

DonnyBurrito · 30/05/2022 12:15

Definitely go! Sounds like you're thinking it will go really well and feel positive about it, so it likely will be a positive experience!

Glad you're not really paying attention to the "it's mean on the eldest" comments. Jeez, my mum split with my dad and moved us out when I was 4 and I barely noticed because she was so positive about the whole thing. She said it took me weeks until I was like "Sooo... is dad not coming too, then?" 😂 And then again just expertly explained it away with smiles and positivity. Just got to get your DH on-board with dressing it all up as a positive with you! If my mum got away with a literal full blown separation with no tears, I think you can manage a couple of days away no problem!

Enjoy!

MaryShelley1818 · 30/05/2022 12:16

Go and have a lovely time 😍
Your toddler had heaps of 1-1 time with you before baby arrived, it's nice that baby will get a few days.
You don't have to give children exactly the same at the same time all the time. I'm taking DS (4) to London with my mam in a few weeks and DD (16mths) is staying at home with Daddy and going to nursery. I'm sure that I'll do some little trips just us too at some point.

FinallyHere · 30/05/2022 12:20

Absolutely I'd frame it as some 121 time for older DC with Daddy, discuss some things they might do. Then a few days to chill by a pool sounds perfect. Enjoy.

AmongstTheCosmos · 30/05/2022 12:31

I think it sounds great. You should go for it! You will have a bit of a break and a rest, and your older dc will have some lovely 1:1 time with her Dad. Sounds fabulous!

Bunnycat101 · 30/05/2022 12:47

Have you got slight rose tinted glasses re what a holiday with a baby would be like? I’d rather take the older one tbh. You might find yourself stuck in your hotel room a lot. Baby probably crawling/cruising by then so might be quite hard work. Also would need to think about how you’d manage luggage, car seat, buggy etc through the airport.

Not insurmountable issues at all but might actually not be quite as relaxing as you’re hoping.

windowstothesoul · 30/05/2022 12:56

Yes do it!
Often been away with just one - change of scene enjoy M leave while you can -

Original poster
PartyPlan · 30/05/2022 13:04

Bunnycat101 · 30/05/2022 12:47

Have you got slight rose tinted glasses re what a holiday with a baby would be like? I’d rather take the older one tbh. You might find yourself stuck in your hotel room a lot. Baby probably crawling/cruising by then so might be quite hard work. Also would need to think about how you’d manage luggage, car seat, buggy etc through the airport.

Not insurmountable issues at all but might actually not be quite as relaxing as you’re hoping.

I did wonder this, but I think the logistics part is fine. I wouldn’t go out for the evening or anything so could pack very light for both of us and would do hand luggage only. Combination of travel buggy and sling in the airport. I wouldn’t need car seats either as I would get a coach transfer on the other side.

I used to travel for work daily on flights sometimes so I’m very familiar with airports and a dab hand at being organised for security. I also wouldn’t have any qualms about asking the crew to look after the baby while I popped to the loo.

I need to start looking at some more places and see if I can find a deal. Really appreciate everyone posting and giving their thoughts.

OP posts:
cansu · 30/05/2022 13:09

I think you may be underestimating the difficulty of being alone with baby. Lets say baby is ill. Lets say you get ill. Who will help then? I think being away on your own is really not that ideal.

SleepingStandingUp · 30/05/2022 13:11

cansu · 30/05/2022 13:09

I think you may be underestimating the difficulty of being alone with baby. Lets say baby is ill. Lets say you get ill. Who will help then? I think being away on your own is really not that ideal.

Single parents do it all the time. So you really think single parents shouldn't go on holiday?

AliceW89 · 30/05/2022 13:19

I definitely think you should go! DS was an incredibly high needs baby, born in lockdown (now the easiest toddler, thank goodness). If I have a second baby and we are blessed with a chilled out, ‘go with the flow’ type, I’ll grab every single opportunity to do things for me, that I could neither fathom nor legally do the first time round!

Geranium1984 · 30/05/2022 13:22

Might as well if you think it'll be easy travelling with the baby.

Different subject but can I ask whether you did anything different with your second baby vs your first or are they naturally more chilled?

I'm pregnant with my second and my first was a terrible sleeper, very clingy, felt like I had to stick to the routine or hell would break loose (is still better on predictable routine at 21mo). Not sure how I'd cope if my second one is similar 🙈

KosherDill · 30/05/2022 13:29

PartyPlan · 30/05/2022 09:49

Currently on maternity leave with 8 month old baby and need a change of scenery after a hard time recently. Have checked with DH and he is happy to look after older DC who would be at nursery during the week.

Is it a terrible idea to take the baby on a trip? It would be 3 nights to Spain or Portugal for ease and a quick flight. We live close by a big airport. Can do a few days for about £400 all inclusive. We are having a bigger family holiday later in the year too so DH and other DC wouldn’t miss out in that sense. We can afford this too. Baby is really chilled and goes with the flow for the most part so is a doddle in that sense.

I would love to wander around, sit by the pool and splash with the baby, read a book when he naps, have a glass of wine on the balcony.

Part of me thinks it’s a great idea to get away and another part feels guilty for leaving older DC but I’m not sure if I have blinkers on!

YABU - this is a terrible idea that is bound to go wrong
YANBU - go for it, YOLO

My friend just took baby to a beach resort while husband stayed home with younger children. It wasn't a big deal.

PaddingtonBearStareAgain · 30/05/2022 13:31

FinallyHere · 30/05/2022 12:20

Absolutely I'd frame it as some 121 time for older DC with Daddy, discuss some things they might do. Then a few days to chill by a pool sounds perfect. Enjoy.

They are going to be full time at nursery whilst her DH is at work.

Blarting · 30/05/2022 13:32

cansu · 30/05/2022 13:09

I think you may be underestimating the difficulty of being alone with baby. Lets say baby is ill. Lets say you get ill. Who will help then? I think being away on your own is really not that ideal.

Let's say that she was at home and a single parent, of her DH was away?

Original poster
PartyPlan · 30/05/2022 13:38

Geranium1984 · 30/05/2022 13:22

Might as well if you think it'll be easy travelling with the baby.

Different subject but can I ask whether you did anything different with your second baby vs your first or are they naturally more chilled?

I'm pregnant with my second and my first was a terrible sleeper, very clingy, felt like I had to stick to the routine or hell would break loose (is still better on predictable routine at 21mo). Not sure how I'd cope if my second one is similar 🙈

No, we didn’t do anything differently with this baby, he is just a completely different personality type to our first. People say “oh it’s because you’re more chilled”, which is absolute rubbish! Good luck with your baby, hopefully you get an easier one second time round.

OP posts:
GlitteryGreen · 30/05/2022 13:52

I think it's fine, the holiday is not for the baby's sake, it's for you!! It's not like you're taking the baby to Disneyland and leaving your older child behind.

Quite honestly I think you're good for still taking the baby instead of leaving them both with DH and taking even one night away just for yourself.

10HailMarys · 30/05/2022 15:31

CorpseReviver · 30/05/2022 10:37

I think it's really mean

It doesn't seem mean to me at all. The older child isn't even school age. A toddler gets fuck-all out of a mini-break to Portugal. It's not like the OP is proposing to take the baby to Disneyland.

'Mummy has to go away for a few days to have a rest somewhere really boring that you wouldn't like, and she's going to take Baby with her so you can have Daddy all to yourself without Baby getting in the way.'

OP can FaceTime her toddler every morning and evening. It's fine.

10HailMarys · 30/05/2022 15:33

cansu · 30/05/2022 13:09

I think you may be underestimating the difficulty of being alone with baby. Lets say baby is ill. Lets say you get ill. Who will help then? I think being away on your own is really not that ideal.

You do realise people look after babies alone all day, every day, don't you?!

Skinnermarink · 30/05/2022 16:29

cansu · 30/05/2022 13:09

I think you may be underestimating the difficulty of being alone with baby. Lets say baby is ill. Lets say you get ill. Who will help then? I think being away on your own is really not that ideal.

Goodness sake, can’t live your life in ‘mights’. How would you ever go anywhere or do anything?!

Blarting · 30/05/2022 16:48

Geranium1984 · 30/05/2022 13:22

Might as well if you think it'll be easy travelling with the baby.

Different subject but can I ask whether you did anything different with your second baby vs your first or are they naturally more chilled?

I'm pregnant with my second and my first was a terrible sleeper, very clingy, felt like I had to stick to the routine or hell would break loose (is still better on predictable routine at 21mo). Not sure how I'd cope if my second one is similar 🙈

My first was born an angel 😇 (until he hit teens), my second was very different.....

They're all different.

mindutopia · 30/05/2022 16:56

Definitely do it, I took my then 8 month old to Barcelona while Dh stayed home with older one. It was great. We did museums, lovely lunches and dinners, markets. So nice just to do something other than the same old boring stuff.

Darbs76 · 30/05/2022 16:59

Definitely, go for it