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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take the baby on holiday?

101 replies

PartyPlan · 30/05/2022 09:49

Currently on maternity leave with 8 month old baby and need a change of scenery after a hard time recently. Have checked with DH and he is happy to look after older DC who would be at nursery during the week.

Is it a terrible idea to take the baby on a trip? It would be 3 nights to Spain or Portugal for ease and a quick flight. We live close by a big airport. Can do a few days for about £400 all inclusive. We are having a bigger family holiday later in the year too so DH and other DC wouldn’t miss out in that sense. We can afford this too. Baby is really chilled and goes with the flow for the most part so is a doddle in that sense.

I would love to wander around, sit by the pool and splash with the baby, read a book when he naps, have a glass of wine on the balcony.

Part of me thinks it’s a great idea to get away and another part feels guilty for leaving older DC but I’m not sure if I have blinkers on!

YABU - this is a terrible idea that is bound to go wrong
YANBU - go for it, YOLO

OP posts:
BurbageBrook · 30/05/2022 09:52

I do think it’s weird to take only one child on holiday and leave your daughter (who would probably get more out of it) at home. Surely you can just take her out of nursery and bring both kids. Sounds mean.

Skinnermarink · 30/05/2022 09:52

Well I have that kind of baby too OP and would do it in a heartbeat! Mine is the same age as yours, and I’ve just come back from a camping trip with him- DH stayed behind to paint a room (it looks shit but that’s another story..) if I could afford to go somewhere sunny and warm with the baby id not hesitate.

pbdr · 30/05/2022 09:52

If you have a chilled out 8 month old that would tolerate going abroad well (I feel exhausted even imagining taking my 7.5 month old abroad, but she is not an easy baby) and there are no separation anxiety issues with your older DC then why not? Enjoy yourself while you can, chilled babies do not always turn into chilled toddlers so make the most of it.

Skinnermarink · 30/05/2022 09:54

BurbageBrook · 30/05/2022 09:52

I do think it’s weird to take only one child on holiday and leave your daughter (who would probably get more out of it) at home. Surely you can just take her out of nursery and bring both kids. Sounds mean.

Or maybe it’s nice for the older one to have some time with her dad, stick to her routine, and have a family holiday later in the year?

grey12 · 30/05/2022 09:55

I wouldn't leave the older one at home 🤷🏻‍♀️ it's already a difficult time for them, not being the only child and then mum disappears with the baby for a few days to go and have fun.....

BurbageBrook · 30/05/2022 09:57

@Skinnermarink I mean, I doubt it. Splashing in pool on holiday having fun with mum or sticking to nursery routine? Think most would prefer the first scenario…

AnyFucker · 30/05/2022 09:58

Bathe way that travel plans are getting disrupted at the moment, I wouldn’t do this on my own with a baby

I also think you have a rather optimistic idea about chilling on holiday with a book and a glass of wine 😀

AnyFucker · 30/05/2022 09:58

*with the

SleepingStandingUp · 30/05/2022 09:59

I admit to feeling a bit 🤨 about it but not sure why. I think it's older child feeling left out that baby is going away on an adventure with just Mama and going to spend all day in the pool etc but they don't get to do anything extra. Esp if with DHs hours little one is in nursery full time so they don't even massively gain from extra time with Daddy.

I'd personally aim for a weekend or whenever DH can have some extra time with DD rather than 8-6 nursery, dinner, bed the whole time you're Away

Skinnermarink · 30/05/2022 10:00

BurbageBrook · 30/05/2022 09:57

@Skinnermarink I mean, I doubt it. Splashing in pool on holiday having fun with mum or sticking to nursery routine? Think most would prefer the first scenario…

Well, if you put adult thoughts and feelings on to it, yes. But I know many toddlers who would be excited for some time alone with the other parent and have a break from a baby sibling 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m sure her dad would make things fun for her. Not everything has to be 100% equal all the time.

Original poster
PartyPlan · 30/05/2022 10:00

I wouldn’t advertise to the older child that we were on a holiday, just going away for a couple of days. We have recently been away as a whole family and are away on a beach holiday later in the year too, hence why I don’t think they are missing out too much.

FWIW, I couldn’t have done this sort of thing with the older one when on Mat leave. There’s no way they would have coped out of routine for a few days as a baby.

OP posts:
Homemadearmy · 30/05/2022 10:06

I think it sounds like a lovely idea. A toddler and baby is hard work. So a few days of r&r with the baby sounds blissful. And will do wonders for you.

Bells3032 · 30/05/2022 10:10

We took our four month away on holiday and have booked another for when she's 9 month old. People go away with babies all the time. It's actually easier than it seems.

But leaving your other child out may make them jealous as it seems they are old enough to be in school so will notice you take the baby and not her

Original poster
PartyPlan · 30/05/2022 10:18

Homemadearmy · 30/05/2022 10:06

I think it sounds like a lovely idea. A toddler and baby is hard work. So a few days of r&r with the baby sounds blissful. And will do wonders for you.

Exactly, taking the toddler away isn’t a break for me. The trip would have to work around his routine rather than mine, whereas the baby slots in to my routine, can nap while I have lunch in the buggy etc.

OP posts:
SomePosters · 30/05/2022 10:21

You dont need mumsnets permission

talk to you dp!

make sure your older child feels special and loved.

Have fun

Original poster
PartyPlan · 30/05/2022 10:22

SleepingStandingUp · 30/05/2022 09:59

I admit to feeling a bit 🤨 about it but not sure why. I think it's older child feeling left out that baby is going away on an adventure with just Mama and going to spend all day in the pool etc but they don't get to do anything extra. Esp if with DHs hours little one is in nursery full time so they don't even massively gain from extra time with Daddy.

I'd personally aim for a weekend or whenever DH can have some extra time with DD rather than 8-6 nursery, dinner, bed the whole time you're Away

DH would be working so toddler would be at nursery full time. This would be their normal routine anyway, so they would only miss me and baby at morning and bed time.

If I went for the weekend it would leave DH with both children for the whole time which seems less easy.

OP posts:
ittakes2 · 30/05/2022 10:25

A rare opportunity for a break before your maternity leave ends? Go for goodness sake and enjoy. I don’t get all this take the nursery age child - two small children are not a break for you. Nursery child won’t even remember the holiday and can enjoy some special time with your partner.

JuniorPenny · 30/05/2022 10:27

I wouldn’t take one child

Skinnermarink · 30/05/2022 10:28

ittakes2 · 30/05/2022 10:25

A rare opportunity for a break before your maternity leave ends? Go for goodness sake and enjoy. I don’t get all this take the nursery age child - two small children are not a break for you. Nursery child won’t even remember the holiday and can enjoy some special time with your partner.

Agreed, people really get up in arms about it.

Hermanfromguesswho · 30/05/2022 10:30

It sounds like a brilliant idea and one that will work perfectly for your family right now. Don’t let other people put you off, they will be apprehensive because it wouldn’t work as well gor their own family. Enjoy!

SneezesHaveStarted · 30/05/2022 10:30

If your DH is happy with it then do it!! It sounds fabulous! I could have done this with my second or third at that age no problem, but my first would have been horrendous!
As you suggest though, don’t make it clear to the toddler that you are going on holiday so they won’t feel left out.

Ducksurprise · 30/05/2022 10:31

Your older child had all your time devoted to them, baby has always had to fit into their routine. It will also be nice for toddler to have full attention of one parent.
As long as you have decent travel insurance I wouldn't worry in the slightest about being away at the moment.

Original poster
PartyPlan · 30/05/2022 10:35

I’m really glad some other people think this is a good idea too and get why it’s not a break with a toddler in tow. I think it’s fine as long as the toddler doesn’t think it’s a holiday, just that Mummy is away for a few days.

OP posts:
Roselilly36 · 30/05/2022 10:35

Sounds a crazy idea to me, airports are really busy with half term, airlines, cancelling flights. Such a young baby easier to be at home, than pack everything up for such a short trip. Baby might not be as settled in a different environment on the plane etc. Good luck if you decide to go for it though.

CorpseReviver · 30/05/2022 10:37

I think it's really mean