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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take the baby on holiday?

101 replies

PartyPlan · 30/05/2022 09:49

Currently on maternity leave with 8 month old baby and need a change of scenery after a hard time recently. Have checked with DH and he is happy to look after older DC who would be at nursery during the week.

Is it a terrible idea to take the baby on a trip? It would be 3 nights to Spain or Portugal for ease and a quick flight. We live close by a big airport. Can do a few days for about £400 all inclusive. We are having a bigger family holiday later in the year too so DH and other DC wouldn’t miss out in that sense. We can afford this too. Baby is really chilled and goes with the flow for the most part so is a doddle in that sense.

I would love to wander around, sit by the pool and splash with the baby, read a book when he naps, have a glass of wine on the balcony.

Part of me thinks it’s a great idea to get away and another part feels guilty for leaving older DC but I’m not sure if I have blinkers on!

YABU - this is a terrible idea that is bound to go wrong
YANBU - go for it, YOLO

OP posts:
Skinnermarink · 30/05/2022 10:41

Babies are different, OP knows if hers would likely be one that would cope or not! Mine would absolutely, loves being taken to new places and seeing new faces, he’s just spent the weekend in a camper van with me. He’d have no issue travelling on a plane.

its not mean to the toddler. They had lots of one to one mummy experiences before the baby, presumably will still at times after the baby, maybe the baby deserves that sometimes too. And maybe OP deserves a break!

MissChanandlerBong80 · 30/05/2022 10:43

I’m in the same situation (maternity leave with younger baby and toddler at nursery) and personally I wouldn’t want to do that and therefore wouldn’t do it. But I don’t think wanting to do it makes you a terrible person or anything. You don’t need permission from some internet randoms.

FfeminyddCymraeg · 30/05/2022 10:43

Another one who isn’t sure why this feels odd, but it does.

Regardless, with the chaos at airports currently, I’m not sure I’d bother trying.

The3Ls · 30/05/2022 10:47

I had one of those babies who turned into a very challenging toodler. Reformed around 5 years super boy now. So take your chance!

Thebeastofsleep · 30/05/2022 10:48

Do it!

You taking 2 kids by yourself wouldn't be a relaxing break at all and toddlers are much harder on holiday than babies.

The toddler won't really care about it being "unfair" (and it isn't). There's plenty you'll have done with toddler that you'll never do with 2nd child by virtueof eldest having been an only child for a bit.

Don't feel guilty.

Ducksurprise · 30/05/2022 10:48

CorpseReviver · 30/05/2022 10:37

I think it's really mean

Why?

Mean for the op to put her needs first for a while -actually not even first as she is taking baby to make it easier for DH and toddler?

Mean because a toddler who would have already had different experiences to the baby isn't going?

Mean because the toddler won't even remember the holiday, when it isn't even a holiday as such it is a break for mum?

Mean because of not putting the toddler through the airports and change of routine for such a short length of time?

Mean for DH to have to have one on one with his child for four days?

Do you expect your children to have exactly the same life experiences?

MissChanandlerBong80 · 30/05/2022 10:48

Thinking about it, in my case the reason I wouldn’t consider it is that money is quite tight (as I’m not earning because of mat leave) and therefore if I went abroad just me and the baby it would probably rule out a holiday for the four of us later on. Obviously that would be completely unfair, especially on DH. But obviously OP can afford it.

Original poster
PartyPlan · 30/05/2022 10:49

I know I don’t need permission, just wondering if it was a terrible idea and if it would be worth the hassle. We live quite close to the airport so I could be home in 30 minutes if it all went tits up.

OP posts:
Original poster
PartyPlan · 30/05/2022 10:50

Ducksurprise · 30/05/2022 10:48

Why?

Mean for the op to put her needs first for a while -actually not even first as she is taking baby to make it easier for DH and toddler?

Mean because a toddler who would have already had different experiences to the baby isn't going?

Mean because the toddler won't even remember the holiday, when it isn't even a holiday as such it is a break for mum?

Mean because of not putting the toddler through the airports and change of routine for such a short length of time?

Mean for DH to have to have one on one with his child for four days?

Do you expect your children to have exactly the same life experiences?

Show quote history

You’ve explained this much more eloquently than I could have, thank you!

OP posts:
arabellairis · 30/05/2022 10:50

Just go 💨

GiltEdges · 30/05/2022 10:53

Seems like a really odd thing to do to me. But if it's what you want to do and your DH is happy, do what you want? 🤷🏼‍♀️

CorpseReviver · 30/05/2022 10:55

PartyPlan · 30/05/2022 10:50

You’ve explained this much more eloquently than I could have, thank you!

Show quote history

Not sure why you asked if you were being unreasonable when you are clearly completely convinced that you are not.

Do whatever you want.

Skinnermarink · 30/05/2022 10:55

GiltEdges · 30/05/2022 10:53

Seems like a really odd thing to do to me. But if it's what you want to do and your DH is happy, do what you want? 🤷🏼‍♀️

What is really odd about it?

luckylavender · 30/05/2022 10:55

BurbageBrook · 30/05/2022 09:57

@Skinnermarink I mean, I doubt it. Splashing in pool on holiday having fun with mum or sticking to nursery routine? Think most would prefer the first scenario…

Taking a baby & a young child on holiday is so much more hard work. The pool would be tricky.

luckylavender · 30/05/2022 10:56

JuniorPenny · 30/05/2022 10:27

I wouldn’t take one child

I would. I think it's an excellent idea. Go for it OP!

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 30/05/2022 10:58

I'd do it definitely but bear in mind there can be travel delays so just factor that in.

It's a chance for you to get to know the baby more and your DH your older child. Win win.

Milliesmummy92 · 30/05/2022 11:02

I'd 100% do it. My DD is 3 months and if she and partner had a passport I'd be booking one now 😂.

Original poster
PartyPlan · 30/05/2022 11:02

CorpseReviver · 30/05/2022 10:55

Not sure why you asked if you were being unreasonable when you are clearly completely convinced that you are not.

Do whatever you want.

Show quote history

Surely the point of AIBU is to check if others agree with you? I obviously know what I want to do, but wanted to make sure it wasn’t unreasonable…

OP posts:
Brainwave89 · 30/05/2022 11:02

I took my youngest on a road trip to Prague. We had a great time. He was made a fuss off and we still talk about the trip, which was one of those that turn out be magical and things just happened. It does depend on the child when it comes to travelling. If your DC would be okay and you need some space I think it is a great idea.

2bazookas · 30/05/2022 11:05

I'd happily travel abroad with 8M baby . but by now Spain may be too hot for such a small child unused to it. I suspect there'll be less time spent on the beac/by the pool and more in your cool shady hotel room...

nextone77 · 30/05/2022 11:09

This reply has been deleted

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Skinnermarink · 30/05/2022 11:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Wtf?

Snoken · 30/05/2022 11:11

I would totally do this! Then in a few years, you can take your toddler and go somewhere fun just the two of you. I have two kids and have travelled lots one-on-one with them. Mainly because they like different things, but also because I get so much more quality time with them when it's just the two of us. It's a much more relaxed feeling, and I can tell it's really beneficial for our bond. Now they are older, and travel with friends instead, but I am sure I will be able to convince them each of another trip with me before they have families of their own.

rainbowandglitter · 30/05/2022 11:14

No way would I have done that. Just for the fact that looking after a baby on your own just isn't relaxing or a holiday. Going through the airport , checking in etc all with a baby. How do you go to the toilet on the plane? You'll need to manage all cases, buggy etc on your own. Do you have a sling to strap them to? You won't be able to take your eye off the baby for a second from the second you leave your house. You'll have no conversation. It would be my idea of hell.

CorpseReviver · 30/05/2022 11:15

PartyPlan · 30/05/2022 11:02

Surely the point of AIBU is to check if others agree with you? I obviously know what I want to do, but wanted to make sure it wasn’t unreasonable…

Show quote history

But you've ignored everyone who disagrees with you, and just responded to those who agree