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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think I may have just hoisted my sister by her own petard?

179 replies

FelicityFlops · 29/05/2022 21:56

My sister just messaged me to ask about feeding people for a buffet next week. I do not live in the UK.
Slightly as a joke I said I would be more than happy to come and help and was told I was welcome :-)
I responded that I would be happy to come over (it will cost around €1k) if her VERY comfy guest bed was available. No response so far.
Did I overstep the mark?

OP posts:
BestDove · 30/05/2022 08:59

I’m so confused 🫤 Cooking and beds and IT consultants and a £1k buffet

Ciko · 30/05/2022 09:01

Does your sister live at Downton?

BurnDownTheDiscoHangTheDJ · 30/05/2022 09:05

dudsville · 29/05/2022 21:58

I Google "petard" and am none the wiser.

It’s from Hamlet. Means to get blown up by your own bomb, basically. I’m an English teacher, it’s one no student ever understands so familiar with explaining this one. Poetic justice basically. Further explanation here

DaisyQuakeJohnson · 30/05/2022 09:16

I think it's probably confusing posters because OP didn't use it correctly. Her DSIS' petard was not hoisted Grin

CorpseReviver · 30/05/2022 09:18

ScootsMcHoy · 29/05/2022 22:23

If it helps you put all this in context, she is a bank director and I am a freelance IT anti-financial crime consultant.

No, it definitely doesn't help to 'put all this in context'. Confused

It does. It's half term.

OrlandointheWilderness · 30/05/2022 09:21

BranstonTickle · 29/05/2022 22:30

Do you have a son called Sheridan who lives in a house with room for a pony?

😂 😂 😂

SirYawnsAlot · 30/05/2022 09:27

The context is obvious, it's yet another classic example of tearing and picking post and the poster to shreds. Pretending to be confused, then the flying monkeys come and echo it. Like being back at school. Embarrassing.

DaisyQuakeJohnson · 30/05/2022 09:37

^freelance IT anti-financial crime consultant^

This is a fabulous job title.

Pay your £1k and visit your DSIS. Although if you don't actually want to go then your petard has been hoisted ... because you offered with the expectation she'd refuse but she said you're welcome to come.

CorpseReviver · 30/05/2022 09:44

DaisyQuakeJohnson · 30/05/2022 09:37

^freelance IT anti-financial crime consultant^

This is a fabulous job title.

Pay your £1k and visit your DSIS. Although if you don't actually want to go then your petard has been hoisted ... because you offered with the expectation she'd refuse but she said you're welcome to come.

Yeah, what does the OP have against financial, I wonder?

Lougle · 30/05/2022 10:00

I would get it if there was a back story of the OP trying to visit her sister and her sister always refusing. Then the OP offers to come but the sister thinks she won't be willing to pay £1000 for the flight, so thinks she's safe by saying 'yes, come!' and that it will make the OP look like she's refused a reasonable offer of hospitality.

The OP in that situation, would think that by calling her bluff, and asking to stay in the spare room, the sister would be stuck with having to have her over when she thought she'd get away with it.

But then the OP says there is no back story, so that means that whole explanation is not likely, so I am confused.

BestDove · 30/05/2022 10:04

The OP thought she was being witty. I think that’s what’s confusing about the post 🤔

It’s not in the slightest bit funny or entertaining.

Maireas · 30/05/2022 10:17

Yes, I think there's a back story that we missed about this?

Aussiegirl123456 · 30/05/2022 10:18

BestDove · 30/05/2022 10:04

The OP thought she was being witty. I think that’s what’s confusing about the post 🤔

It’s not in the slightest bit funny or entertaining.

Says you! I’ve loved this thread haha

Johnnysgirl · 30/05/2022 10:20

Aussiegirl123456 · 30/05/2022 10:18

Says you! I’ve loved this thread haha

Show quote history

Bless you...

Johnnysgirl · 30/05/2022 10:21

SirYawnsAlot · 30/05/2022 09:27

The context is obvious, it's yet another classic example of tearing and picking post and the poster to shreds. Pretending to be confused, then the flying monkeys come and echo it. Like being back at school. Embarrassing.

The context is not obvious.

musicviking1 · 30/05/2022 10:24

🤔huh?

zingally · 30/05/2022 10:29

This doesn't make any sense. The title doesn't match the original post in any way, shape or form. You haven't used the phrase correctly.

And having read your follow-ups, they don't clarify anything. What's the point of this post?

2bazookas · 30/05/2022 10:38

It was a joke, and if you don't get that, the joke's on you not her.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 30/05/2022 10:51

People should be very careful of using phrases which they have no/limited idea of what they mean, to sound clever and in which context. Which is what this post has proved.

APJ1 · 30/05/2022 11:14

HereIAmBrainTheSizeOfAPlanet · 29/05/2022 22:57

How often do you have thoughts about making laxative cookies?

Show quote history

That response made me cry with laughter!

KettrickenSmiled · 30/05/2022 11:15

FelicityFlops · 29/05/2022 22:17

OK I will confess that the only exam I EVER failed was O level English in 1974, so my choice of phrase was probably wrong.
What I meant to say was, am I calling her bluff?
No back story, I would be over like a shot - if wanted.
I will do all the cooking and NO, no holiday, I had one of those a few weeks ago. I would need to work during that time as well.
If it helps you put all this in context, she is a bank director and I am a freelance IT anti-financial crime consultant.

Are your all your personal relationships conducted in this oddly oblique & passive-aggressive manner, or is it just with your sister?

Because, if you want to go & stay with your sister to help out with her event & catch up with relatives, the way to go about that is to say so.
I'm not sure why you felt the need to hint about guest beds, VERY comfoy or otherwise, & then go on a forum to announce your meandering about it as if you've just accomplished something clever.

You haven't.
Your sister hasn't responded definitively because you did not ask a definitive question.
You hinted, then did not confirm what you actually want.
So you now do not know what your sister wants either.
I'm not sure what you actually want.
At this point, I'm not sure if YOU know what you actually want.

If you want to go & see your sister, ring her up & say so.
If you do not want to go & see your sister, do not ask to go & see her.

HTH

diddl · 30/05/2022 11:27

Christinatherabbit · 29/05/2022 23:28

I have no idea what's going on but i have now decided its time to switch the Internet off and go to sleep before my brain explodes 😳

Would that be a petard hoisting explosion?

Vikinga · 30/05/2022 11:41

What's the problem? You don't think it was a genuine offer? Or you would only come if you can stay at hers (seems reasonable).

MigsandTiggs · 30/05/2022 11:45

GoodThinkingMax · Yesterday 23:41

You are hoist by your own petard actually.
Yup!

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 30/05/2022 12:09

I have since been told "doors always open" (sic) - hope I got the sic right!

Well I wouldn't normally say anything, but since you mention it, it should have been in square brackets. Grin