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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I may have just hoisted my sister by her own petard?

179 replies

FelicityFlops · 29/05/2022 21:56

My sister just messaged me to ask about feeding people for a buffet next week. I do not live in the UK.
Slightly as a joke I said I would be more than happy to come and help and was told I was welcome :-)
I responded that I would be happy to come over (it will cost around €1k) if her VERY comfy guest bed was available. No response so far.
Did I overstep the mark?

OP posts:
FoodieToo · 29/05/2022 23:31

ElenaSt · 29/05/2022 22:30

Did you mean to write leotard and it came out as petard? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Brilliant 😂!!!

PriamFarrl · 29/05/2022 23:37

I’m amazed at the people on this thread who have never heard this phrase.
Should we all state our occupations, are the relevant?

Longdistance · 29/05/2022 23:37

Help with the buffet, don’t help with the buffet.

Not sure why you posted? Confused

GoodThinkingMax · 29/05/2022 23:41

You are hoist by your own petard actually.

Blowthemandown · 29/05/2022 23:41

Oh - you said ‘she asked about’ not ‘she asked me to come over’. So if she did actually ask you to come and help and you said yes, then you did call her bluff. But you didn’t make that clear.

Penguinevere · 29/05/2022 23:44

I’d never heard of that phrase until I read this.

I looked it up. I think it’s an amusing way to get it wrong op.

Greenshed · 29/05/2022 23:49

What did she ask you? Did she want advice on what to prepare, how to prepare it, how much per person she should allow for? You responded by saying you’d be happy to come over and help, despite the cost - was her response “yes, please, I’d love you to come over to help” or were you saying that you’d be happy to come over said tongue in cheek ( ie, we’re you jesting?), which she knew it was, so didn’t respond because she knew it was tongue in cheek? What are you trying to say to us mumsnetters in your post? Please clarify, because to be honest, right now, it’s as clear as mud.

LauderSyme · 29/05/2022 23:50

OP is smug and most of the rest of you are snarky.

I'm not complaining though. Mumsnet at her finest!

Trifecta · 30/05/2022 00:04

Cross posted with you. Have you just learned this phrase and are trying to find a way to use it? Because this isn’t it - it’s just really weird communication.

I think you’re right.

Minimalme · 30/05/2022 00:07

I don't know, but I'm imagining a petard hoist would effect a Godawful camel's hoof? Possibly causing thrush?

Don't do it op. It's not worth it.

Minimalme · 30/05/2022 00:09

Fwiw, I hung up my petard in 1995. I prefer a dressing gown these days.

RewildingAmbridge · 30/05/2022 00:11

So she made an empty gesture/joking invitation, asking you to help with her event, you deliberately took her at face value and not only said yes but put her in a position where she will also have to accommodate you.
So her scheme to make a polite but empty request/gesture, which you would also equally politely declined but feel like she cat's enough to offer, has blown up in her face as she may now have a house guest she wasn't planning for.
I think she may have actually been hoisted by her own pertard.

RewildingAmbridge · 30/05/2022 00:12

Petard. Phone autocorrected, anyone know what a pertard is?

SleepingStandingUp · 30/05/2022 00:12

FelicityFlops · 29/05/2022 22:46

Apologies to everyone and thanks for the illumination.
Sadly we belong to the still lightly better-off middle class, so no, she was not asking for money LOL.
I have since been told "doors always open" (sic) - hope I got the sic right!

Well there you are.

You said you'd be over like a shot if she agreed so book your travel and go visit.

But I bet you won't cos you'll claim it wasn't a real invite because you seem to want to catch her out.

"look,i even offered to work at her party for free and she can't even invite me over properly!!"

Yo u say no back story but I find it hard to believe.

Herejustforthisone · 30/05/2022 00:14

Is the OP drunk?

Am I drunk?

Are we both drunk?

airrrrAIRRRRiELLLL · 30/05/2022 00:16

Mrs Wilcox was hoist(ed) )by her own petard in Second Form at St. Clare's. I thought it was a phrase Enid Blyton had made up. Hope I haven't quoted her in the past, how embarrassing.

TellingBone · 30/05/2022 00:30

These petards are small. The ones out there are FAR AWAY.

HTH

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 30/05/2022 00:33

FelicityFlops · 29/05/2022 22:17

OK I will confess that the only exam I EVER failed was O level English in 1974, so my choice of phrase was probably wrong.
What I meant to say was, am I calling her bluff?
No back story, I would be over like a shot - if wanted.
I will do all the cooking and NO, no holiday, I had one of those a few weeks ago. I would need to work during that time as well.
If it helps you put all this in context, she is a bank director and I am a freelance IT anti-financial crime consultant.

How do you think that that helps?

Kennykenkencat · 30/05/2022 00:56

RewildingAmbridge · 30/05/2022 00:11

So she made an empty gesture/joking invitation, asking you to help with her event, you deliberately took her at face value and not only said yes but put her in a position where she will also have to accommodate you.
So her scheme to make a polite but empty request/gesture, which you would also equally politely declined but feel like she cat's enough to offer, has blown up in her face as she may now have a house guest she wasn't planning for.
I think she may have actually been hoisted by her own pertard.

It’s the other way round

It was op who asked to go and she could help out

Her sister said yes

Kennykenkencat · 30/05/2022 00:57

A petard is actually a small bomb

alphons · 30/05/2022 01:06

English is not my first language.

I am SOOOOO confused right now 😳

Greatoutdoors · 30/05/2022 01:12

Don’t worry @alphons. I have a degree in English, and I’m confused too.

SpeckofDustUponMySoul · 30/05/2022 04:37

Ah, where you are on the socio-economic scale makes this more contextually fathomable... 🙄
Were you clutching pearls and could tinkly laughs be heard?

dustandroses · 30/05/2022 05:37

FelicityFlops · 29/05/2022 22:46

Apologies to everyone and thanks for the illumination.
Sadly we belong to the still lightly better-off middle class, so no, she was not asking for money LOL.
I have since been told "doors always open" (sic) - hope I got the sic right!

@FelicityFlops
Did I overstep the mark?

I think you missed the mark rather than overstepped it.

Now that we have illuminated you perhaps you could return the favour and enlighten us on what, still lightly better-off middle class, is 🤔

newnamethanks · 30/05/2022 06:00

I've read this whole thread and still don't understand. Its 5.45. Whats happening? Send for my breakfast.