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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I may have just hoisted my sister by her own petard?

179 replies

FelicityFlops · 29/05/2022 21:56

My sister just messaged me to ask about feeding people for a buffet next week. I do not live in the UK.
Slightly as a joke I said I would be more than happy to come and help and was told I was welcome :-)
I responded that I would be happy to come over (it will cost around €1k) if her VERY comfy guest bed was available. No response so far.
Did I overstep the mark?

OP posts:
Testina · 29/05/2022 22:09

It’s the wrong phrase. It means to fall foul of your own scheming.
So it can happen to your sister based on her own plotting, but you can’t do it to her.
And your sister wasn’t plotting anything 🤣

Oldfilmsareshit · 29/05/2022 22:14

She asked for help
you offered

about as far as being hoisted by one’s own petard as it can be….

dudsville · 29/05/2022 22:15

I'm finding subsequent posters helpful. I've never heard this phrase.

accentdusoleil · 29/05/2022 22:15

Did she want you to send money ?

Testina · 29/05/2022 22:16

Say your sister wanted you (as a good cook) to come and cook for her dinner party, and pretended (her own scheme) that a work colleague she hated (whom she knew you fancied) was going to be there to persuade you come… and so you came… but you innocently contacted the hated colleague to check dietary preferences, and he assumed yours was the official invitation, and so he came and your sister ended up sat with hated colleague all evening…

That would be closer to being hoist with her own petard.

100problems · 29/05/2022 22:16

It would work if she'd told everyone she was cooking, passed of the result as her own and then it was discovered you'd done the food.

fUNNYfACE36 · 29/05/2022 22:17

with all due respect, you sound like an idiot.

Original poster
FelicityFlops · 29/05/2022 22:17

OK I will confess that the only exam I EVER failed was O level English in 1974, so my choice of phrase was probably wrong.
What I meant to say was, am I calling her bluff?
No back story, I would be over like a shot - if wanted.
I will do all the cooking and NO, no holiday, I had one of those a few weeks ago. I would need to work during that time as well.
If it helps you put all this in context, she is a bank director and I am a freelance IT anti-financial crime consultant.

OP posts:
nextone77 · 29/05/2022 22:20

This post made me feel very working class

Oldfilmsareshit · 29/05/2022 22:22

How is offering to help and visit calling her bluff unless she hates you and was only only asking for you to send money or similar?

why on Earth would your professions add any more context!!

Testina · 29/05/2022 22:22

I don’t think your jobs are any more relevant than your shaky grasp on Hamlet 🤣

Just call her! “Hey sis, I was joking about helping with the buffet, but actually, I’d love to see you - so it’s actually serious too! But no offence taken if it doesn’t suit as I don’t want to muscle in on the group.”

I think this might answer your questions more quickly than MN 😉

FuchsAndMöhr · 29/05/2022 22:23

WTF do your jobs have to do with this bat shit crazy thread?

Are you drunk OP?

Johnnysgirl · 29/05/2022 22:23

If it helps you put all this in context, she is a bank director and I am a freelance IT anti-financial crime consultant
That offers no context whatsoever 😬😬😬
How very peculiar you are.

ScootsMcHoy · 29/05/2022 22:23

If it helps you put all this in context, she is a bank director and I am a freelance IT anti-financial crime consultant.

No, it definitely doesn't help to 'put all this in context'. Confused

PrawnToast5 · 29/05/2022 22:24

I was about to write a post about the petard thing but then I read OPs last post and I just have no idea what's going on.

But yeah, you called her bluff - i think?

Handsnotwands · 29/05/2022 22:24

No, that context doesn’t help whatsoever

PrawnToast5 · 29/05/2022 22:24

ScootsMcHoy · 29/05/2022 22:23

If it helps you put all this in context, she is a bank director and I am a freelance IT anti-financial crime consultant.

No, it definitely doesn't help to 'put all this in context'. Confused

No I think its made it more confusing if anything 😕

PortiaFimbriata · 29/05/2022 22:25

Your OP only makes sense if she actually hates you and you visiting would be the last thing she wanted. But I'm assuming that's not actually the case.

A petard is a small bomb, so small that it's more like a fart, hence the name (from the French). Someone who's hoist by their own petard has been blown up by their own bomb, fallen into their own trap, victim of their own scheme.

StaunchMomma · 29/05/2022 22:25

If it helps you put all this in context, she is a bank director and I am a freelance IT anti-financial crime consultant

WTF is the context in this?!!

Johnnysgirl · 29/05/2022 22:27

I think this is an extremely misguided attempt at a "hilarious" thread, hoping to be nominated for Classics.

Toottooot · 29/05/2022 22:28

Fit yi spikin’ aboot min?

100problems · 29/05/2022 22:29

Ok so if she is a dodgy banker who does deals and makes fortunes that are other people's work , then you DI Compilancy dude come along and catch her out it would (maybe at a total push) work.

Otherwise you're just offering to do some grub for a free holiday.

ElenaSt · 29/05/2022 22:30

Did you mean to write leotard and it came out as petard? 🤷🏼‍♀️

BranstonTickle · 29/05/2022 22:30

Do you have a son called Sheridan who lives in a house with room for a pony?

BraveryBot9to5 · 29/05/2022 22:31

I think the most likely explanation is that if she's hosting something, she might be wondering if somebody else (she's already invited) will be in the guest bedroom.
I couldn't care less that you used hoisted by one's own petard in the wrong context. If you can cook, that's better!!!!