Dp and I have been together 3.5 years. He has known dd for most of that time as we were friends beforehand. We don't live together but he is here most weekends.
They have a good relationship although he does not play a parenting role.
The past few months dp and dd have been winding each other uo. Nothing more than mucking about going a bit too far mostly. A lot to do with dd (nearly 9) being a bit stroppy and dp knowing it and just poking the bear a bit. She has started puberty and this past week is the one where the hormones rage. She gets arsed, tearful for no reason amd generally difficult. It is hormones mostly.
This weekend they have driven me to distraction. It is like having 2 teenagers in the house. Bickering and sniping at each other.
I have lost my shit at both of them several times and bollocked the pair of them for their appalling behaviour and for winding each other up.
Dd will look sheepish and apologise but state firmly that dp was winding her up. He will deny any wrong doing or that he has done anything at all even though I have heard/seen it.
I feel this is gaslighting us both and I will not tolerate it.
I have basically told both of them I am sick of the pair of them and separately told him to grown up and stop eith the gaslighting.
He has then sulked like a bloody teenager and sloped off home.
He is about a hairs breadth from being single. I will not tolerate the gaslighting at all and I will back dd to the hilt. He will never come before her and he knows that.
Wibu? I have told them both off for the behaviours as they are both as bad as each other for winding the other up. So it isn't that I have let dd get away with it.