I shouldn't have to justify having a drink!

[KevinTheKoala]

I'm a fully grown adult, I am going through a rough patch with my mental health and whilst I understand alcohol isn't the healthiest way to deal with that, I have been drinking a little more than usual. Usual for me being only on social occasions once in a blue moon. I am not drinking every night, or even every week - sometimes it's three times a week, often it is less. I don't drink alot, for instance this week I had two gin and tonics yesterday, one desperado the day before that and 4 small glasses of wine tonight - very small glasses. It is considerably more than normal I will admit but certainly not binge drinking levels - or even as much as some people have on a daily basis! But I've had some comments about how much I'm drinking and it has annoyed me a bit, I'm an adult, I don't get drunk - or even tipsy - I'm going through a really hard time mentally at the moment and I'm entitled to have a drink if I feel like it.

You have been drinking 3 days in a row. To me that would be concerning. Is this a normal week or just a once off.

Who is commenting?

You are grown adult. Nuff said.

It's probably in large part because you don't drink a lot normally. The drinking you have described doesn't sound problematic to me but I'm a relatively robust drinker.

If you drink virtually nothing normally and people are aware that you're not at your best at the moment then a sudden uptick in the amount of alcohol you're drinking is bound to attract some notice.

You’re an adult. That’s all.

The main issue is that you weren't really a drinker and now you are. That coupled with having a hard time will make people worry and comment.

I know OH would worry if I was drinking at home three days in a row.

Why are you drinking?

It depends

If someone was strolling with their mental health and I lived with them and they were drinking and making themselves worse and I was having to support them more while they didn't seem to be doing anything to help themselves, I'd want them to drink less

If it doesn't affect anyone else or affect you negatively then thats another thing

DH drinks most Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays usually only a couple sometimes three poncey hipster IPAs which are stronger than your bog standard lager. Every other Sunday he goes out to his hobby and drives so doesn't drink then and hasn't tonight because he's got a headache. The amount you are drinking wouldn't concern me, but your motivation for doing so and that the increase in alcohol use coincides with a downturn in your mental health, would. If you were my DH/DW I probably would say something out of concern.

I don't drink at all so my perceptions of alcohol are maybe off compared to other people.
What you described sounds like a heck of a lot to me.
Are the comments trying to help but poorly phrased or are they trying to put you down and make you feel bad?
I think of I had a partner that was drinking more than is healthy, I'd likely say something too, possibly a little more tactfully..

*struggling

That amount is fine. People need to mind their own business.

To me, you aren’t drinking much at all. However, if you know you’re drinking more than normal, you need to make sure it’s not the start of a slippery slope. Most of the people I know (middle class, working, 30-40yo) are having at least one drink a night, but many are sharing a whole bottle of wine most nights. I have colleagues tell me, ‘oooh I had a lovely bottle of wine last light and I’m going to buy another for later!’

When I first met DH, we wouldn’t be able to finish a bottle of wine between us. Yet, a few years later, at my worst, I could drink a whole bottle to myself. I have friends who can happily drink two bottles of wine no problem, and they can still stand!

It’s amazing how quickly your body builds tolerance and addiction - just be careful. Like I say, I think you’re drinking very little, and whoever is judging you is being quite dramatic IMHO. But, if it is escalating out of your control, you don’t want to add another problem to your load.

Chin up OP, I hope your rough patch is over soon x

Who is making the comments?

You're drinking less than I do on a normal basis, but I would think it's the fact that you're drinking more than usual and your mental health is worse that is making people worried, I think they're just looking out for you really

Firstly be honest with how much you are drinking - if at home your measure will differ from pub measures so your units may be more than you think. If your MH is causing you an issue speak to the GP

i have MN issues now and don’t drink this time but last time I had issues 2002-2008 I drank a lot more than I would tell anyone. Would drink a half bottle of gin before going out the a bottle of white when out and share usually 2 bottles with bf every few nights each every week when I was in the grip of it. I wonder how the fuck survived tbh. But I did.

YABU

Who is commenting? 3 nights in a row is probably the limit, and weekends or not, it doesn't matter the day. It's not like you're necking 2 bottles of wine a night, a couple each time is fine. If you're OK, then great. Alcohol isn't the root of all evil, don't beat yourself up. If you start to feel rubbish because of it then maybe its time to think about cutting back or taking a break.

Did you even bother reading the OP?

It's fine. Ignore the comments.

Really depends who's saying it and their motivation for doing so.

The situation leading to your increased drinking would be a concern if it were a close friend or partner

You can do what you want but a binge is considered to be drinking more than 6 units in one sitting.

The comments are coming from my partner - but they are said as digs not concern. I have been seeking help from GP, health visitor etc. I've basically been told I've exhausted all the options available to me on the NHS (I'm on antidepressants and have been for a while now, and I've had CBT which wasn't helpful). I don't drink 3 days in a row every week - I did go out with a friend last week and drunk quite a bit but I didn't drink at all the rest of the week. I know how this sounds but having a drink helps to prevent nightmares which become more frequent when I'm struggling, but mostly I just felt like a drink.

I think it’s a bit different if it’s coming from your partner. It’s probably said out of concern and worry that perhaps this is a new pattern for you. Dh and I don’t drink, at all to be fair, and if one of us suddenly started cracking open the gin 3 times a week I’m sure the other wouldn’t like it. It’s just not usual for us at all. But at the end of the day you’re an adult and it’s your choice.

I don’t think you are supposed to drink whilst on anti-depressants. It does sound like you are relying on drink to cope with your mental health issues and that is a road best not taken.

I drink 3 days in a row every single week & have done for 20 years. 2 small bottles of Prosecco on a Fri, Sat & Sun. Never tipsy, never drunk & worked it out to be 13.2 units, the RDA bring 14 units. Why is drinking 3 days in a row ‘concerning’?

Are you drinking within the recommended units per week? I think it’s about 14 for women. If you’re sticking to that I wouldn’t worry. We all have some weeks we go beyond that but unless that happens regularly there’s no need for anyone to be concerned.