15 shirts a week

[theonlygirl]

DS2 starts big school in September, meaning there will be 15 shirts in the laundry each week. DH 5, DS1 5, DS2 5.
no issue washing and drying them but it will be a cold day in hell before I stand ironing their shirts. I don't use a tumbledryer so they all definitely need ironing.

Option 1 - make them iron their own.
Option 2 - drycleaners

Curious to know what others do

I have teen boys!
They need a fresh, clean shirt every single day - without fail.

And once again, I haven’t alluded to daily tasks, I’ve just said I didn’t think it right to hand over responsibility outright for the important things (clean clothes, food choices)

I must admit that I can’t imagine letting my nearly eleven year old loose on a hot iron. Maybe there are 11 year olds who are capable but mine would either burn himself or leave it on. He can cook though.

I have a dry cleaner round the corner who irons clean shorts for 50p a shirt. I’d do that. However it’s possible that your area is not exactly the same as mine or that you’d prefer not to spend £7:50 a week on ironing.

MN is a bit of a strange place sometimes. The other day there were lots of people aghast at the idea of an 11 year old going on the London Underground by himself. I think that’s less dangerous than getting him to use an iron.

Dry on hangers, once dry spray with crease releaser! Very occasionally they may need a light steam with handheld steamer

@Quincythequince

how are you gonna feel if your kids move out at 18 to go to uni? Do you honestly they’ll wear all clean clothes every single day?

And as for breakfast, hah! They probably won’t even bother having anything never mind something they have to cook! 🤣

You’re not gonna be there to do it all for them. They have to learn to be self sufficient in stages from the get go. they’ll have got accustomed to fresh clean clothes every day and a nice breakfast every morning at home, but it ain’t gonna happen once they go off to uni or whatever, it never does!

@Quincythequince

“I have teen boys!
They need a fresh, clean shirt every single day - without fail.

And once again, I haven’t alluded to daily tasks, I’ve just said I didn’t think it right to hand over responsibility outright for the important things (clean clothes, food choices)”

surely you do have to hand over the responsibility of these things though if they are to do then when they move out? Which they could do soon if they are teens and thinking about uni. Or are you gonna insist they live at home so you can keep having responsibility for these things?

Exactly but how will that child learn if providing clean clothes and a breakfast is beyond standard parenting?

You teach them to do it while they're young, and then withdraw your input and let them do it themselves. The same way as you teach them to eat nicely, dress themselves and brush their teeth. When they're little, you do it all, as they get older, they start to help, eventually they can manage independently and you can back off.

How young were you when your parents said there’s food in the cupboard and there’s the washing machine. Crack on and work it out for yourself? How did you know what to do? I suspect you were taught by example and / or being shown and it happened gradually.

Of course, as above. But I was washing my own uniform at around age 11-12, and making my own breakfasts from much younger than that, probably age 7-8. I mean, at age 12, I was home alone during the holidays and making my own breakfast, lunch and snacks - I was more than capable of making my own toast before school!

My post was about teaching DC’s to become independent, not passing the responsibility to them.

But part of teaching independence IS passing the responsibility over at some point, otherwise they're never going to learn how to manage on their own.

Exactly!

Learning independence and taking responsibility for yourself is pretty much one and the same!

I don’t care wheat they wear when they’re not here. But they will wear a fresh shirt every day because they like to be clean and not stink. They are athletic, big boys and they sweat over the course of a day. Why would any parent not encourage a clean shirt every day if so.My son has a friend he says smells, he’s BOy and smells bad. Hearing comments from parents like this, I can see why. Some of you think that’s ok. How sad for your children.
Peope notice you know. And never once are they judging a teen boy form this - it firmly sits at the parents door.

And just because they may do things differently when they’re older, it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be taught how to do things correctly, or what is healthy when they’re young.

What messed up logic you have re responsibilities.

And for the umpteenth time, I don’t do everything for them at all.

Have never once said I do. Not once.

surely you do have to hand over the responsibility of these things though if they are to do then when they move out? Which they could do soon if they are teens and thinking about uni. Or are you gonna insist they live at home so you can keep having responsibility for these things?

Of course. The older ones are partly responsible for lots of things, my 17 year old wholly responsible for a lot more.
They have been slowly taught to do it with close attention paid to more important things like food, eating, hygiene etc.

You are very prone to exaggerated assumptions here. My 17 year old has his own little gardening business, which he administers and run, is doing various volunteer activities he organised, and has done all his own Uni open day sorting.

Completely able - but well nourished and smelling good too!

Of course it is not

@Quincythequince

who takes responsibility for them being well nourished and smelling good at the moment? You or them?

What do you think the difference is, then?

I think the difference is that learning is exactly that, being shown, practicing how to do it, supervised when needed and taking responsibility to take on tasks but with the security of having a parent stepping in if and when.

That is not the same as saying ok your 8 now you take responsibility for your own breakfast or your 11 do your own washing and ironing. The child has to learn before taking responsibility, which should be a gradual thing.

So my 8 year old can and will sometimes make a breakfast but isn’t responsible for making their own, as in I won’t if they don’t.

My 11 year old can use a washing machine, but not ready to use an iron. It’s still my responsibility to ensure that they have clean clothes, I’m not going to send them to school in dirty clothes just because they didn’t get round to doing their own washing.

That’s the difference.

My 11 year old can use a washing machine, but not ready to use an iron. It’s still my responsibility to ensure that they have clean clothes, I’m not going to send them to school in dirty clothes just because they didn’t get round to doing their own washing.

But at some point, you're going to HAVE to let them take responsibility, so at what age do you plan on handing that responsibility over to them completely?

Or are you going to continue to do it all for them while they live under your roof - and if so, how are they ever going to learn if mum is always there to pick up the pieces and stop them learning any consequences?

I see my timings have been questioned. 6am alarm.
Turn laundry on (it would be ready to go from night before - I don't know like doing it night before and then hanging out - I like to hang out as soon as done).

COFFEE.

We're now at 6.10am
Oven turned on.

Ingredients for bread mixed.
We're not at 6.20am
So, by 6.20am, the laundry is on (1 hour), the bread is in the oven (55 mins).
I get in the shower and put on makeup. We're now at 7.20am (from 6.20 to 7.20am) I'm in shower, and dressed, and makeup on.
7.20am, bread comes out of oven (takes 10 seconds).
By 7.30am, the laundry load has been hung up to dry (on line if forecast good, or on clothes airer if weather not good).

TIMINGS WORK FOR YOU NOW?

For me, the key is preparation the night before. Clean counters. Clean kitchen. So you're literally ready to go with a clean slate first thing in the morning.

@JetTail

so it takes you an hour to shower and do makeup? That sounds more like it. Thanks for clarifying

And to sicken myself, as it seems a lifetime ago, I also went to a gym class on my lunchbreak 😂

I'm lucky if I have the energy to argue on here these days. Old age kicking in.

The OP clearly does not work or she would have said so. So, while her husband works 18 hours and her children spend what 7 hours at school and 2 hours studying, while also doing extracurricular activities, she does what? What she doesn't do, is iron lol! THAT I can understand as I loathe it. But it has to be done. I think there's a lot to be said for a gentle kindness with children. Doing things for them. One lady once told me, 'if you're going to do anything, do it with good grace'. My childhood involved slave labour and a lot of roaring and shouting. I just think it's a kindness.

If you ask for their input, they learn from very young from watching you. When they're teens, they will not want your input into anything!!! Enjoy the little things.

I think it sets children (and teens) up for a calm day, when there is a loving home and a little kindness to them. That's little acts of service I suppose.

Oh, the other job delegated to DH was feeding the dog. I did the walking.

@JetTail

true. If she doesn’t work then it evens things out I guess. Though I still think her kids may end up with a shock to the system when they go to uni and realise there is no laundry/ironing fairy

I don't iron anything. Hang it up and hope for the best. Most of my DDs shirts are covered by their jumpers and ties so seems pointless
DH and I just wear polo shirts so no ironing needed there either

When my twin DDs started secondary school I used to iron two shirts each morning. When they go to about 13 they did to themselves. DH doesn’t wear shirts for work thankfully.