Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pretty concerned by this?

79 replies

thaimoon · 27/05/2022 19:37

On holiday in a seaside resort with DH and DD (nearly 2).

Found a quieter part of the beach and I was just wondering in and out of the sea with DD who was pottering and filling her bucket/picking up shells etc.

DH (who was swimming a bit further out) nodded to the shore where I saw a man, about 35-40, on his own, dressed in jeans and a jumper (not at all holiday clothes) just standing and staring at us.

He was standing pretty close to us- just standing and smiling. There was something about the way he just stood and looked though, that made me feel it was not quite right. Can't quite put it into words except to say it didn't feel like he was looking for a conversation, and it certainly didn't feel natural to wave and smile back.

He just stood until DH came a little closer to me and DD and then he walked off.
We watched him and he kept looking back over his shoulder until he went into a house along the shore line (still very close to the beach).

Then we spotted him a few mins later lurking in the shade of the porch in the house and just staring at us.

We thought it was weird behaviour and a little unsettling but continued what we had been doing until I saw him come back out, walk in the other direction along the beach, call someone on his phone and then point at us. Well, that was it for us and we got up and left.

But- AIBU to think that was very strange?! I've been trying to think of what it could have all been about and can't come up with anything (well I admit I've thought of a few pretty sinister things but know those would be rare).

OP posts:
Newmumatlast · 27/05/2022 19:48

That would concern me that he was looking for kids to order but I'm paranoid. Better to be paranoid than a target though

Badgirlriri · 27/05/2022 19:52

In the real world not every man is out to steal kids and rape women. Maybe he was just admiring a family scene. Maybe he wasn’t looking at you at all but looking out to sea.
It’d be pretty stupid to draw attention to himself and go into his house if he was looking for kids to order.

girlmom21 · 27/05/2022 19:55

Are you in the UK or abroad? He was probably acclimatised to the weather, hence the jeans and jumper, and enjoying seeing a family have fun.

Johnnysgirl · 27/05/2022 19:56

He had a phone conversation whilst pointing at you??
Was he FaceTiming someone and pointing the camera at you? Confused
Otherwise I can't believe this happened.

GrazingSheep · 27/05/2022 19:57

Were you on a private part of the beach?

Doggydarling · 27/05/2022 19:57

Private beach, trespassing?? You, not him.

rahjama · 27/05/2022 19:58

Obviously it's strange. If you were breaking the law in any way he should've come up to you and said.

CatsAreCrackers · 27/05/2022 19:58

Why would he point at someone if he was on the phone? They wouldn't be able to see! Or did it look like he was pointing his camera at you. In which case how did you know he was on the phone?

luxxlisbon · 27/05/2022 19:58

Let’s face it, everyone will jump to him being a possible molester, kidnapper etc but the much more likely scenario is that he was just enjoying a little glimpse of young family life, maybe his kids are older and it reminded him of them. He was most likely not lurking in the shadows but enjoying some time on his own beach front porch. I mean why else do you live in a beach front house other than to soak up the view!

Maytodecember · 27/05/2022 20:02

Could he have mistaken you for someone well known?

G0forit · 27/05/2022 20:07

Maybe something? Maybe nothing to worry about? Did he physically go into the house? If so, note the geo location and address. And search for any details on the property. Info is everything.

Original poster
thaimoon · 27/05/2022 20:07

So in answer to a few questions, no part of that beach us private, we were just on a part that happened to be quieter because it was smaller and tide coming in.

He was on the phone, with phone to his ear, pointing over at us- or at least our direction.

It did not feel like someone with grown family admiring a scene as he was too young looking for that.

The house he was standing in was undergoing renovation and just didn't look occupied in the sand way as the others around it did (with occupants sitting on balconies drinking with family/friends etc).

I suppose there are lots of different explanations or possible scenarios and I hope they are innocent as some have suggested.

OP posts:
Johnnysgirl · 27/05/2022 20:09

He was on the phone, with phone to his ear, pointing over at us- or at least our direction
No, this doesn't make any more sense the second time round.

Mangogogogo · 27/05/2022 20:12

I don’t understand the pointing while on the phone? He clearly wasn’t pointing because people on the phone cannot see you pointing so I’m inclined to think the entire thing is paranoia tbh

hes probs just chillin at the beach just like you were.

Kerrrmieee · 27/05/2022 20:14

He wandered out of his house whilst on phone, smiled at you (or at something the person on phone said) and pointed at the vast expanse of ocean to something he had seen. Probably.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 27/05/2022 20:15

Newmumatlast · 27/05/2022 19:48

That would concern me that he was looking for kids to order but I'm paranoid. Better to be paranoid than a target though

You don't seriously live your life thinking that children being stolen to order is actually something might happen to you do you?

How do you get through a day? Is it not totally exhausting ?

Blarting · 27/05/2022 20:20

Newmumatlast · 27/05/2022 19:48

That would concern me that he was looking for kids to order but I'm paranoid. Better to be paranoid than a target though

Get help with your anxiety, because that's ridiculous

Original poster
thaimoon · 27/05/2022 20:22

Right ok!
Thanks all. You've reassured me it's totally nothing to worry about.
Shall carry on with holiday and stop being paranoid

OP posts:
BringBackCoffeeCreams · 27/05/2022 20:23

The beach near where I grow up has areas which really aren't safe for bathing. Most people who go there regularly stay away from those areas of beach. Tourists have got into trouble and needed rescuing before, they think they're ok in ankle deep water but then the sand bank behind them collapses and they're ankle deep surrounded by deep rip tides as the tide comes in. He could have been worried about you.

PAFMO · 27/05/2022 20:24

Most perverts and child sexual abusers look like members of the child's own immediate family.
Because 97% of them are.

indoorplantqueen · 27/05/2022 20:26

It is probably innocent but I'd be anxious after hearing about the attempted abduction of the child in Turkey recently, right in front of their parents is scary. Luckily two German tourists managed to get the child and then hid in a bush until it was safe.

Regularsizedrudy · 27/05/2022 20:29

He’s probably just a bloke going about his business

JayAlfredPrufrock · 27/05/2022 20:32

Jeans and a jumper?

How unusual.

OversBo · 27/05/2022 20:34

Perhaps he mistook you for someone else

Goingforarun · 27/05/2022 20:37

Are you famous?

Swipe left for the next trending thread