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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pretty concerned by this?

79 replies

thaimoon · 27/05/2022 19:37

On holiday in a seaside resort with DH and DD (nearly 2).

Found a quieter part of the beach and I was just wondering in and out of the sea with DD who was pottering and filling her bucket/picking up shells etc.

DH (who was swimming a bit further out) nodded to the shore where I saw a man, about 35-40, on his own, dressed in jeans and a jumper (not at all holiday clothes) just standing and staring at us.

He was standing pretty close to us- just standing and smiling. There was something about the way he just stood and looked though, that made me feel it was not quite right. Can't quite put it into words except to say it didn't feel like he was looking for a conversation, and it certainly didn't feel natural to wave and smile back.

He just stood until DH came a little closer to me and DD and then he walked off.
We watched him and he kept looking back over his shoulder until he went into a house along the shore line (still very close to the beach).

Then we spotted him a few mins later lurking in the shade of the porch in the house and just staring at us.

We thought it was weird behaviour and a little unsettling but continued what we had been doing until I saw him come back out, walk in the other direction along the beach, call someone on his phone and then point at us. Well, that was it for us and we got up and left.

But- AIBU to think that was very strange?! I've been trying to think of what it could have all been about and can't come up with anything (well I admit I've thought of a few pretty sinister things but know those would be rare).

OP posts:
myuterusistryingtokillme · 27/05/2022 23:00

Kinneddar · 27/05/2022 21:16

I'd think child stealing paedophiles would be a bit more discreet than to stand & look for victims100 yards from his house

I'm surprised noones suggested calling 101 yet

Totally should have 'logged it' 😒

Lucinda7 · 27/05/2022 23:02

I don't think you overreacted at all OP. Your DH obviously thought it was odd too. I have had a similar thing happen to me and I strongly sensed danger. I watched my DC very carefully.

Original poster
thaimoon · 27/05/2022 23:14

Thanks everyone, to those who have been understanding as well as to those who have offered a different point of view- all very much appreciated.

I don't think I was ever going to be able to put into words quite what this encounter was like and probably shouldn't have tried as I'm not very eloquent.

Am sure all was innocent and just a misunderstanding. Hope so.

OP posts:
Johnnysgirl · 27/05/2022 23:19

Threelionsandalioness · 27/05/2022 22:56

This is so close to a post I was going to write yesterday op,I was so unnerved and still am to be honest so much so we are leaving in the morning cutting our holiday 4 days short.
We are in jaywick and it's the most unnerving eerie place that we have been.
Such a shame as the beach/seafront is beautiful,the locals not so much.

Isn't Jaywick the most deprived area in the U.K? Strange choice for a holiday.

Threelionsandalioness · 27/05/2022 23:33

Well the hotel brochure/website certainly didn't state that information but we all live and learn hey!

2bazookas · 27/05/2022 23:40

a man, about 35-40, on his own, dressed in jeans and a jumper (not at all holiday clothes)

You think that's sinister?

People who live on the coast don't wear holiday clothes. We wear jeans and a jumper just like people living in towns and the countryside.

Then he went into his house.Then he stood under his porch. Then he made a phone call. Maybe calling the police to report some crazy woman staring at him .

ATadConfused · 27/05/2022 23:46

I've clearly been reading too many 'trash' books lately. My first thought was you reminded him of his wife & child he lost in a car accident.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 27/05/2022 23:47

@Ducksinthebath

really? I wonder which country op is in 🤔

Dobbysgotthesocks · 27/05/2022 23:49

You mentioned that the tide was coming in. Perhaps he was concerned about you as tides can be unpredictable in some places.

Sisisimone · 27/05/2022 23:55

Where are you OP?

Katya213 · 27/05/2022 23:56

I’m sorry but he sounds like an absolute weirdo and I would not be going to that part of the beach again in case of a second encounter.

Lagertha6 · 27/05/2022 23:59

thaimoon · 27/05/2022 19:37

On holiday in a seaside resort with DH and DD (nearly 2).

Found a quieter part of the beach and I was just wondering in and out of the sea with DD who was pottering and filling her bucket/picking up shells etc.

DH (who was swimming a bit further out) nodded to the shore where I saw a man, about 35-40, on his own, dressed in jeans and a jumper (not at all holiday clothes) just standing and staring at us.

He was standing pretty close to us- just standing and smiling. There was something about the way he just stood and looked though, that made me feel it was not quite right. Can't quite put it into words except to say it didn't feel like he was looking for a conversation, and it certainly didn't feel natural to wave and smile back.

He just stood until DH came a little closer to me and DD and then he walked off.
We watched him and he kept looking back over his shoulder until he went into a house along the shore line (still very close to the beach).

Then we spotted him a few mins later lurking in the shade of the porch in the house and just staring at us.

We thought it was weird behaviour and a little unsettling but continued what we had been doing until I saw him come back out, walk in the other direction along the beach, call someone on his phone and then point at us. Well, that was it for us and we got up and left.

But- AIBU to think that was very strange?! I've been trying to think of what it could have all been about and can't come up with anything (well I admit I've thought of a few pretty sinister things but know those would be rare).

I'm a total believer in gut instinct. I wouldn't have liked this at all. Really weird behaviour. Did the right thing leaving

Livelovebehappy · 28/05/2022 00:00

Maybe he was concerned he was being stared at by a family on the beach whilst he was chilling next to his home, and was ringing someone as he felt un-nerved that maybe the family were staking out his home? You do seem to have been analysing his every move.

Plzhelpifyoucan · 28/05/2022 00:00

He sounds frightening and given there was very recently an attempted kidnap of a 2 year old in Ringwood, Hampshire I wouldn’t be so trusting of men behaving strangely. Some people give you a vibe, trust your instincts.

Plzhelpifyoucan · 28/05/2022 00:01

Link here

NewtoHolland · 28/05/2022 00:03

I'm nosey so I'd have just said hello and found out why he was waiting to speak to you.
It could be something like warning you about a rip tide or something if you're with your young one, or telling you where to find fossils/ sea glass these are things strangers have said to is on beaches with our children.

Mojitomogul · 28/05/2022 00:04

I think you did the right thing to leave, and trust your gut instinct. It sounds odd and if he was only standing in the porch I doubt it was his house. People can be very brazen, there are attempted abductions that happen in broad daylight. I may be slightly paranoid but always trust your instincts!

NotAScoobyToBeSeen · 28/05/2022 00:04

I think women should listen to their gut instinct more, and most of the time it will have been wrong, but you only need to be right once to stop something awful from happening.

My best friend's brother had an abduction attempt made on him on holiday one year, and in the news this week a family in Turkey had their child abducted at their dinning table but thankfully witnessed by other tourists and she was found. It may be rare but it absolutely does happen and tbh people should realise that staring at a woman and child at close range is going to be unnerving. If he had information about dangers in that bit of the sea/beach then he should have called out to you and passed on the info surely

colouringindoors · 28/05/2022 00:11

I think you're getting a raw deal here OP. I think it sounds a bit strange and concerning. It's not normal behaviour. And I'm also a firm believer in gut instinct. Don't apologise.

FictionalCharacter · 28/05/2022 00:22

littleburn · 27/05/2022 20:48

I'm going to go against the grain and say a man standing close to and staring/smiling at you and your child for an ongoing period of time is odd behaviour and I'd be unsettled by it. Interesting that he only moved on when it became apparent your DH was with you.

Doesn't necessarily mean he's looking to kidnap a kid to order! But a man behaving like that would bother and unsettle me too.

I agree. My first thought was that this is odd behaviour. There’s a big difference between someone just watching what’s going on around them and someone who’s staring. And at least some of us can sense that difference and it makes us feel unsettled.

Lagertha6 · 29/05/2022 20:46

thaimoon · 27/05/2022 23:14

Thanks everyone, to those who have been understanding as well as to those who have offered a different point of view- all very much appreciated.

I don't think I was ever going to be able to put into words quite what this encounter was like and probably shouldn't have tried as I'm not very eloquent.

Am sure all was innocent and just a misunderstanding. Hope so.

I honestly don't think you've misunderstood. Your gut was spot on. Very dodgy. Hope you're all OK xxx

Noorandapples · 29/05/2022 21:04

I'm chiming in with trusting your gut. Might have been something, might have been nothing but we have gut instincts for a reason.

Johnnysgirl · 29/05/2022 21:15

Lagertha6 · 29/05/2022 20:46

I honestly don't think you've misunderstood. Your gut was spot on. Very dodgy. Hope you're all OK xxx

Show quote history

God, I'm pretty sure they're all ok 😂
What are the actual chances that this dastardly villain has followed them home and murdered them in their beds?

Lagertha6 · 29/05/2022 21:17

Johnnysgirl · 29/05/2022 21:15

God, I'm pretty sure they're all ok 😂
What are the actual chances that this dastardly villain has followed them home and murdered them in their beds?

Show quote history

I meant as in hope you're not too upset by it anxiety wise.

Lagertha6 · 29/05/2022 21:18

Johnnysgirl · 29/05/2022 21:15

God, I'm pretty sure they're all ok 😂
What are the actual chances that this dastardly villain has followed them home and murdered them in their beds?

Show quote history

It's just a saying. And I wasn't really talking to you so.....

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