I probably am. But it’s really irritating

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this is 100% not a real problem. I know other people have bigger problems I just want to know if this is normal?

So we have a family wattsapp group as most people do. My family are pretty scattered and everyone is more that 100 miles from everyone else so we don’t see each other that often.

On the group both my mum and my dad will reply to messages with just a single emoji - either the 😃 or 👍 and I’m struggling a bit with how rude I find this as from my perspective it kills all further chat completely. They will ask a question, I write an answer and then there is absolutely no effort on their part afterwards except the thumbs up emoji? Or I send a pic of one of the grandchildren I may get just an emoji back or question I write a decent reply and then they just send a fucking emoji.
None of my other groups or people I message regularly who are similar ages to me do this.
Is this just that they don’t quite get text etiquette? is it even bad text etiquette?

I think they're of their generation. For many, writing out replies just doesn't seem natural.
Am sure if you called to speak to them they'd have loads to say.

Maybe it's a throwback to when texts had limited characters - maybe they cba. You know them, what are they like in RL? If not ordinarily rude I would assume they are not meaning to be on your group.

I find it irritating too - but see it from their point of view. A constant stream of messages, texts etc. becomes very wearing especially if a response is required every time. It's like having a small child pulling on your skirt shouting 'mummy mummy mummy' trying to get your attention. Pre-mobile phones there wasn't this constant stream of things all the time and it really was possible to have no contact at all with friends or family unless by letter or by actually talking to them face to face or on the phone. When my babies were small I walked to the phone box at the end of the road once a week to phone my mum. Perhaps just don't send so much that expects a response? Then you may get a proper response to things that do need it.

I definitely know it’s not intentional. They would probably be mortified I just wanted to check that I’m not being a bit off for finding it a bit rude.

Someone has to send the last message in an exchange. If a question has been asked and answered, and the answer acknowledged, what more is there to say?

I'm with Antarcticant

How do you want them to respond? If there is nothing more to be said, they have acknowledged what you have sent.

My dm does this. Drives me potty. I think because I feel like a child being placated (cause she’s my mum). But when I’m with her when she gets a text I know she looks at the photo but would need to find her reading glasses to type a reply and has been caught out with what chat she’s in so hits a nice big emoji and will return later. I’ve showed her how to make the text bigger (but that makes it look like an old person phone). Days where she’s wearing her contacts are very different. I also know I send loads of gobbled texts, when I’m on thr train or doing whatever at the same time and that really annoys her (because I’m literate and articulate why doesn’t it show).

all that being said when I’m feeling passive aggressive I reply with a emoji to her

I’ve messaged my dad and seen this:
dad is typing a reply…
….…..
……
……
…….…
….……
……
……
……
……
…..
Ok

Not saying that all parents are like this but my parents do take a long time to type out messages and quick ones like this seem much easier. They prefer to speak in person whereas I hate it and much prefer to send a “quick” message, which isn’t quick at all to them.

I don’t think this is rude at all.

It says the same thing as if they typed out a reply but just much quicker.

@DilemmaDelilah its not even as if I’m sending loads. They are constantly asking for pictures and updates so when I’m doing something I will got to the effort of sending them pictures and updates I get nothing back other than a 👍

They also very rarely phone - we are expected to call them when we are free but they are always out doing retirement activities.

it all feels very uninterested and like they don’t really want to get to know us as adults.

I hear you! My mum does this , I find it absolutely infuriating however that’s because it’s my mum and it just reinforces other things in my relationship. I also think she thinks it’s answering a question. Although she uses it in response to anything i text. So if I say “hi how are you, we are going out for a meal on Sunday let me know if you want to come” she’ll send a thumbs up, being a pedant, my view is that the thumbs up is to say yes she will let me know if she wants to come, it’s not saying she wants to come. But seriously how long would it take to say yes I’d like to come thank you. Sorry this has hit a nerve as perhaps you can tell!

I think sometimes people don’t know what to put when you send pictures or life updates. We have a family group chat on Facebook messenger where you can ‘react’ to pictures and when we get pictures of our nephew on there, DH and his siblings (and partners) tend to emoji react to most of them. It’s hard to know what else to say apart from “ahhhh so sweet” etc. for the 100th time which starts to feel like it might come across disingenuously. We love seeing pictures of him but don’t always have something to actually say in response if you see what I mean? It’s just an acknowledgment.

This. I don't think it's rude but then I don't particularly 'chat' in texts or WhatsApp messages. For me the whole point is to be able to share pictures and message quickly when no time to actually chat on the phone or in person.

My niece flips when I use full stops.

@orwellwasright - yes! My kids tell me it’s pass/agg to use a full stop.

Monsters, the lot of them.

I think you're being a bit precious about this. It might be partly a generational thing, as for a lot of older people, texting and social media is for brief messages, not chatty conversations about your day. Plenty of people aren't actually great with written conversation at all. I always remember that when I was a kid and we went on holiday, my dad - a very chatty, articulate, intelligent man - had absolutely no idea what to write on a postcard to his parents.

It is not rude to have a short conversation. As someone else said - somebody has to be the one to send the last message.

If someone sends me a photo of their child, I'm delighted, but often the only real response I can make is 'Aw, so cute' because there's not really anything else to say. I don't really see it as a conversation starter - just a little check-in.

I don't understand why it's rude. Surely they're acknowledging your photo or message which is usually all that's needed. The younger members of my family often do the same.
The full stop business - hell will freeze over before I put x at the end of sentence in place of a full stop. 😀

My mum puts Love Mum x on the end - every. single. time!!!

Yes mum - I know its you!!! 😂

I wouldn't think it is rude. My MIL often just doesn't reply even tho I can see she had read the message, when I see her next she will tell me what she thought of whatever I sent her.

Yes, you are being a bit off. No, they're not being rude.

I think YABU. You sound like a petulant child. 👍🏼

I agree with you actually, I find it very abrupt and rude too, it always reads to me like the person isn’t interested and wants you to fuck off.

It’s just an (likely well intentioned) acknowledgement when they’ve got nothing more to really say about the subject and wanted to close the conversation on a positive note.

I think YABU and projecting interpretations under the assumption that people are intentionally out to offend you.

Treat it in the basic tone it’s intended (unless you’re about to drop a massive back story) and it’ll become a whole lot less irritating.

Maybe they do, but also don’t want to hurt any feelings. It’s alright to not want to engage.

Fuck off is a particularly touchy way to take it.

Honestly? I think you’re deeply overthinking it. I don’t think it’s rude at all.