I probably am. But it’s really irritating

[Panda368]

this is 100% not a real problem. I know other people have bigger problems I just want to know if this is normal?

So we have a family wattsapp group as most people do. My family are pretty scattered and everyone is more that 100 miles from everyone else so we don’t see each other that often.

On the group both my mum and my dad will reply to messages with just a single emoji - either the 😃 or 👍 and I’m struggling a bit with how rude I find this as from my perspective it kills all further chat completely. They will ask a question, I write an answer and then there is absolutely no effort on their part afterwards except the thumbs up emoji? Or I send a pic of one of the grandchildren I may get just an emoji back or question I write a decent reply and then they just send a fucking emoji.
None of my other groups or people I message regularly who are similar ages to me do this.
Is this just that they don’t quite get text etiquette? is it even bad text etiquette?

If they were reading messages or looking at pictures and said nothing the. I would call that rude. It takes my poor mum about 20 mins to type a sentence. I don’t have that kind of expectation. Tbh it just comes across as a bit sad that you aren’t happy that they have responded. Honestly get annoyed about something worthwhile.

Yes, this. Why do you need a reply to a reply? Where would the conversation stop?
Maybe it’s just about how different groups and families like to communicate. My family are all fine with a thumbs up or OK if there isn’t any need to say anything else. I’d prefer to have that instead of written sentences when there isn’t really anything to say.

You're in for a ride going down that road because there is a group of the younger generation out there who find punctuation rude.

I kid you not. They exist.

Are they my parents too!? Mine do this all the time. They'll message us asking questions and starting a conversation, we reply, then they just respond with a thumbs up. What's the point of starting a conversation if you don't actually want to carry it on!? Really winds us both up, as you can tell

If it's not intentional and doesn't represent your usual dynamic, I honestly don't really think you can call it rude, just 'lost in translation'
Also second many PP's who point out they might type super slowly compared to yourself, ir need to find specs to reply. My daughters laugh at my typing speed I know.
I remind them I taught them to use a spoon.

If you know it's not intentional, how the hell can it be rude!!

Give your head a wobble.

Not everything needs a reply in words, though. For me using emojis in this way is the equivalent of smiling in a f2f conversation without saying anything, i.e. part of normal discourse. I don't have a problem with it.

YABU. I’m definitely guilty of overusing the thumbs up, but I’m a tired introvert and sometimes the family group chat feels a bit much for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but I quite often struggle to think of what to say to some messages, but don’t want them to think I’m not interested, so 👍 it is.

I think this totally sums up how I feel.

it’s like starting a conversation that then becomes a total dead end.

I see messages as an ongoing conversations that just pick up where they left off or goes in new directions. I would honestly rather they didn’t reply than just sending a 👍 that way no one has to be the “last message” it just continues or sits idle.

I can see from the votes most people think I’m being unreasonable though so I’ll take that. I thought I probably was though I’d be very interested in an age breakdown for the voting 😂

I suppose that with the distance between us all it would be nice to feel a bit more connected rather than dead end text conversations and a weekly(ish) formal FaceTime where nothing really gets said and I’ve got to fit it all around crying/ shouting children.

Do people think it’s acceptable to use as an answer to a question? So thumbs up instead of yes?

At least you are getting an acknowledgement.

My pet peeve is people who send a two sentence text asking how you are, you reply and they disappear for hours (sometimes days) before they respond.

Why start a conversation if you're not going to respond quickly? What's the point of that?

I hate texts or WhatsApp and only use it to convey simple information. I never chat by message and prefer to call.

My parents are late 70’s and on the family WhatsApp. I know they love getting messages but often write very little in return. Mixture of arthritis in the wrists, poor eye sight, not being dextrous enough for tiny keypad (how small are these letters on a phone!!) and just generationally not chatty on WhatsApp. They’re on FB as well and love seeing all the updates, just don’t post themselves.

don’t overthink it, it’s all good 👍

They aren’t super old - (late 60s/early 70s) and they are both pretty tech savvy and not arthritic. They are both pretty active commentating and updating Facebook regularly so no issues around that side of things whatsoever

Oh no this is me! I reply a lot with 👍 or an emoji! Had no idea it was rude but I not always know what to say and it better than ignoring

I'd find it annoying too unless they take all morning to type a few sentences then I would understand it more.

I hate getting texts that require a conversation, from dd or from anybody. I'm likely to use an emoji and talk about whatever when and if you call.

I’ve seen a couple of threads lately where the OP talks about ‘going to the effort’ of sending pictures to grandparents and then being disappointed in the response.

Genuine question - just how much effort is involved? I could understand if it was 30 years ago in the days of film cameras, when sharing pictures with grandparents meant making extra copies, or deciding which ones to keep and which to give to others - but these days it’s literally a case of clicking on the photo icon, clicking on a few pictures and pressing send. It takes seconds.

at least they reply half the time I’ll mention something on the phone and mum is like oh yeah I was going to reply 😂

Some of your posts are very contradictory to me and I can’t help think this is about an unmet need you need to resolve. You said:

I definitely know it’s not intentional. They would probably be mortified

So why do you suggest it’s rude/bad etiquette and things like it’s as if they don’t want to know us as adults, despite them frequently asking for updates/pictures? All very contradictory. There’s something about you that needs more validation/air time/something from your parents and you’ve made this into a bigger deal.

You might just need to accept they aren’t big repliers and there’s nothing more to it than that.

@SlowHorses you are very probably correct. I think on the whole I’m quite sad that I don’t feel I have any particular adult relationship with my parents.

They ask for updates and pictures of the new baby/ toddler so I feel I’m just facilitating them seeing grandchild pictures and feel they have very little interest in me as a person.

Im probably just having a hormonal wobble we are seeing them soon which I always get stressed about.

Your parents would perhaps appreciate a 'phone call or video call instead.

My friend does this. Replies to everything with a stupid customised bitmoji cartoon avatar that’s meant to look like her. It’s usually giving a thumbs up or crying laughing. She’s in her fifties and it’s so shit and irritating to get a cartoon face instead of actual adult words but I don’t have the heart to tell her.

My mum puts Love Mum x on the end - every. single. time!!!

Yes mum - I know its you!!!* 😂

Bless. Too funny @doris9034 😂

Why?