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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

8 year old reading grim newspaper article at school

132 replies

Pearlclutching · 26/05/2022 12:28

Name changed but have been hanging out around here for almost a decade.

I don't know if I'm overreacting and would like some advice.

DS8 and I were at the shops at the weekend, and he spotted a headline on the local paper. Something along the lines of Sex Offender Convicted of Taplow Lake Murder. He was immediately interested and said he knew all about it, rattling off accurate, detailed information about the case and the previous offences of the man responsible. He told me he'd read a big article about it on a sheet of newspaper being used to cover the table in an art class. He asked me what a sex offender is and why someone would bind and gag a woman before killing them. We haven't had a talk about sex and I really don't want his first knowledge of it to be violent and negative.

When I told my husband, he was horrified and said I should let the school know. Not so much a complaint as a heads-up.

This morning, I told the head of lower school what happened but didn't make any requests or give any opinion - just stated the facts. He chuckled, said my son will do well on the crime round at pub quizzes in future, and praised his curiosity.

Is it reasonable to expect a school to make some effort to shield lower school pupils from the details of sex crimes and sexually-motivated murder or is the head of lower school right to chuckle and say it's fine? My husband thinks I should go to the headmaster, but I'm not sure.

Really interested to know what people think.

OP posts:
HairyFeline · 26/05/2022 12:33

I would be pretty mortified if that was included my DD’s lesson. If he chanced upon it (the article was in a photocopy and hasn’t been checked) I’d be fuming.

Worried675 · 26/05/2022 12:34

It's likely just a slip up on the teacher's part. A teacher will scan the papers used but there really isn't time to reqd every article. It was most likely just missed by accident and not a routine thing. Besides, your son can easily see the front page in a shop and read it there, too.

onlywork55 · 26/05/2022 12:37

I think it’s a forgivable mistake by the school, but the teacher’s response was quite unprofessional. Not sure I’d go to the headteacher about it but I wouldn’t be impressed.

Original poster
Pearlclutching · 26/05/2022 12:40

There's a huge difference between glimpsing a headline and poring over the full article.

This was newspaper spread over a table. The head of lower school said it was neither possible nor necessary to censor the paper used in art. Attitude was very much good for him for being so interested in the case.

OP posts:
eddiemairswife · 26/05/2022 12:46

I started to vet the newspapers brought in to cover the tables after a girl (Y6)read out loud 'Teacher had sex with pupil,' and commented, 'That's disgusting, Miss.'

Pixiedust1234 · 26/05/2022 12:47

its not ideal i agree but newspapers are full of horror stories so what do you want the school to do about it?

  1. Are you willing to buy plain white paper (until your child leaves the school) that can be used to cover the desks during messy work? Schools cant afford to do this which is why they use newspaper.
  2. Are you willing to go through every donated newspaper and either take the pages out or redact the really bad parts?
  3. Will you speak to your (very bright and naturally curious) child that they mustn't read articles with such bad headings?
  4. Do you monitor (TV, newspaper, computer, other people talking) all news items that your son could possibly hear/see/read and stop him?

I genuinely don't really know what you want from this.

Original poster
Pearlclutching · 26/05/2022 12:50

@Pixiedust1234 me neither, hence asking!

OP posts:
Original poster
Pearlclutching · 26/05/2022 13:07

@Pixiedust1234 we don't have a telly, don't have newspapers at home and he doesn't have a computer,

OP posts:
Original poster
Pearlclutching · 26/05/2022 13:08

Sorry, I don't know where the rest of that post went...

... so he's probably a bit sheltered to be fair. I just don't expect to be discussing rape and kidnap with an 8 year old but perhaps I'm naïve.

OP posts:
maddy68 · 26/05/2022 13:11

For goodness sake. They have covered a table with newspaper. Should the teacher read every article? It's just to keep paint off.

HappyHappyHermit · 26/05/2022 13:13

I don't think 8 is too young to know these things happen in the world, that knowledge may well protect them at some point.

thelittlestrhino · 26/05/2022 13:16

As a primary teacher - yes I censor newspaper that is used for painting! Automatically put any DM or similar donations into recycling but yes it's a pain to check through the rest.

PandaOrLion · 26/05/2022 13:17

Maybe remind DS he is in art lessons to do art, not read the newspapers on the table.

Original poster
Pearlclutching · 26/05/2022 13:21

@PandaOrLion absolutely, but that sort of article is difficult to ignore.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pearlclutching · 26/05/2022 13:22

@HappyHappyHermit do you think they should actively be taught about it in school, say in a history lesson about the Vikings? If not, why not?

OP posts:
Etinoxaurus · 26/05/2022 13:24

When I taught I used the Financial Times specifically to avoid this. And magazines were restricted to good housekeeping types not take a break, nuts etc.
Poor response from the teacher.

FourChimneys · 26/05/2022 13:26

My DD read all about the Soham murders in exactly the same way at the same age. I just chatted about it and answered her questions.

Schools have enough to be doing instead of checking every donated newspaper.

Magicpaintbrush · 26/05/2022 13:29

YANBU at all OP. I would be pissed off about this as well. Newspapers aren't the only cheap thing you can cover a table with. Totally inappropriate and the teacher's response was shit.

CanofCant · 26/05/2022 13:33

With regards to the newspaper, I think it's just an unfortunate oversight. I remember seeing dross on the front pages of the News of the World as a child and asking my mum questions about it.

I know it might be difficult to find a place to start but I'm surprised you've not approached the issue of sex with him yet. Not at all, even in a biological way? My eldest is the same age and she has a basic understanding, it's been drip feed to her from a young age.

She also knows that while most people are nice some aren't and that the reason she has to follow certain rules (no running off, the PANTS rule etc) is because some adults are untrustworthy and would try to trick her to hurt her.

I don't bang on about it all the time and it is horrible that she needs to have a certain level of awareness about unsavoury matters but it's for her own safety.

CanofCant · 26/05/2022 13:35

But obviously yes, that news article sounds as though it was quite detailed. It's hard OP, I suppose you have the intention of giving them 'the talk' when they seem old enough but they never really are in our eyes. I find the drip feed method is less traumatic than a big reveal an at arbitrary age.

HotPenguin · 26/05/2022 13:39

Yes of course the school should vet the newspaper before putting it on the table. If they haven't time then they need to get some wipe clean cloths instead. Or stick to using the property pages/car adverts.

PearlclutchersInc · 26/05/2022 13:42

My reading was shaped in the 1970s by the Sunday Times and the Observer. Both used to run huge articles on big incidents of the day eg Vietnam, the Andes rugby team crash, any amount of terrorist stuff - complete with photography. Readers Digest which was in every waiting room ever, educated me on the slave trade and god knows what else.

I think I'm relatively well balanced 50 years later.....point being he'll get over it and something else will catch his attention.

HappyHappyHermit · 26/05/2022 13:42

@Pearlclutching No, I think this is something that parents should gradually expose children to so that they can discuss it with them at home.

prettyprinceofpartiez · 26/05/2022 13:50

I'm a primary school teacher and I would never put adult reading material like newspapers with all of the horrible things that happen in the world in front of my 8 year olds. Murder, rape, child abuse, none of that should be on a table in front of children during a lesson regardless of its purpose. They can read!? We've always used left over copies of First News, a children's newspaper. There are ways around it and it's the school's responsibility to figure that out. No ones suggesting they go through every article, just use an alternative in the first place.

Pixiedust1234 · 26/05/2022 14:16

There you go OP, a poster has suggested some wipeclean covers. If all the tables throughout school are the same size could you or the pta organise something with all proceeds going to buying these?

As an aside I used to read any kind of newspaper or magazines from when I was able to self read. From waiting rooms to home newspapers. I was hungry for words and information and I probably read some scary stuff. No idea if I spoke to my mum about it but nothing was taken off me.

Another course of action is to start getting your son to the local library and feed his need for reading. School libraries are very boring in comparison. It used to be my fortnightly bonding with mum treat going there and choosing my own books from the children's section. Channel his curiosity, encourage his obvious love of reading. Boys are well known to avoid reading after a certain age, make him the exception 🙂