8 year old reading grim newspaper article at school

[Pearlclutching]

Name changed but have been hanging out around here for almost a decade.

I don't know if I'm overreacting and would like some advice.

DS8 and I were at the shops at the weekend, and he spotted a headline on the local paper. Something along the lines of Sex Offender Convicted of Taplow Lake Murder. He was immediately interested and said he knew all about it, rattling off accurate, detailed information about the case and the previous offences of the man responsible. He told me he'd read a big article about it on a sheet of newspaper being used to cover the table in an art class. He asked me what a sex offender is and why someone would bind and gag a woman before killing them. We haven't had a talk about sex and I really don't want his first knowledge of it to be violent and negative.

When I told my husband, he was horrified and said I should let the school know. Not so much a complaint as a heads-up.

This morning, I told the head of lower school what happened but didn't make any requests or give any opinion - just stated the facts. He chuckled, said my son will do well on the crime round at pub quizzes in future, and praised his curiosity.

Is it reasonable to expect a school to make some effort to shield lower school pupils from the details of sex crimes and sexually-motivated murder or is the head of lower school right to chuckle and say it's fine? My husband thinks I should go to the headmaster, but I'm not sure.

Really interested to know what people think.

When we were at school we used newspapers. Kids brought them in, put them in the newspaper drawer, and when it came to art, the kids put them on the desk.
The one exception was The Sun which had to go in a separate pile. I now realise that it was to remove page 3!

At a similar age I read one about a child abuse case. It's stayed with me. I can remember her name and all the details given. It was the first time I'd come across anything like that, and I was quite shocked.

But what is the solution?
Newspapers: Cheap (because kids donate them), easy (already in large sheets), disposable (I think we always ripped them straight off the table and into the bin).

Washable tablecloths? Expensive, plus who is going to wash them?

It's not practical to expect the teacher to go through every paper before they're put out, really it isn't. Plus what one child may find upsetting may be fine for another. I remember my brother reading a paper and getting upset when he was primary age-was an article about not leaving windows open in the summer months unattended because of burglaries.
Just ask for the sport/money sections? They'll run out of newspaper very quickly then.
Tell the children not to read the papers? I would have had my nose straight down to see why not... that might be a good way of getting some of the more reluctant readers trying to read, but if anything it would give more children the idea of doing so.

If the Op wishes to donate plastic tablecloths to her ds' form, and volunteer to take them home to wash twice a week then good on her, but it isn't going to happen otherwise as no school have the extra time and funds for that.

I have always thought that if a child is old enough to read, understand and ask questions about what they’ve read then they are old enough to understand and are trying to take that step.

You need some nuance in there… I was a hyperlexic kid who was assessed with an adult reading age in infant school, was obsessed with the printed word so would have read every newspaper article in front of me in an art class, and would definitely have asked about phrases I didn't know like "sex offender" (probably after making my own strange 5yo guesses about what it could mean). Equally, you get older kids who are intelligent, curious about the world and mature who couldn't read a Mirror article to save their lives. Reading ability doesn't necessarily correlate that well with ability to handle the information you've been given. Text is just the medium.

Where does he watch Newsround if you don't have a telly and he doesn't have internet access?
I'd quite like to be able to watch the telly with neither of those things. Save me a fortune.

Your son does not exactly sound traumatised. They need to cover the desks with something. At that age in the eighties and nineties it was pretty normal for children to read the newspaper at home and a doubt anyone is scared for life.

That's quite unusual. Is this your strategy for limiting access to the internet and inappropriate TV content?

The child does apparently watch Newsround.

Lord knows how.

It's interesting that he didn't tell his parents about the news story on the day that he read it, but only after catching a glimpse of another newspaper headline about it some days later.

What books does he read OP if his reading age is 15? It must be very difficult to find age appropriate books, especially given your demanding criteria.

Indeed, @PAFMO.

I remember being around a similar age when magazines were splashed with the murder scene of Nicole Brown Simpson. I snuck them away to read the articles and looked at the pictures, I’ve always been curious and had an interest in crime. These days I just listen to podcasts though. I consider myself to be unharmed by it.

At school, on my computer, on his kindle fire...

He also reads the children's weekly papers, listens to the radio and erm, talks to people.

I never said we have no media or devices, just that he has no unfettered access to TV or internet at home.

We do watch TV programmes, we just don't have a telly and so it's never just on in the background.

No. I haven't bought a newspaper for at least a decade because the internet exists, we watch TV on a screen and projector so we don't just have it on in the background and watch things we've chosen to see rather than by channel hopping. Has been like this at home for over 15 years - long before having our son. We have laptops and he has a children's kindle fire. I don't see anything odd in not giving an 8 year old the keys to the unfiltered interwebs. He's very aware of the news and we discuss it pretty much every day, just not the bits I think are beyond his understanding (paedophilia, rape etc.).

No, it's not odd having unfettered access to the internet. I would say that it's good parenting.
However, your original post about this said you'd no TV, newspapers etc, not that you were accessing them in a different format. That point wasn't clear.

It's just something the school told us: reading age of 15. He mainly reads from the 9-12 section. Would you have him on Stephen King and John Grisham?

What demanding criteria? He reads children's murder mysteries like Fleur Hitchcock and Robin Stevens and could probably recite every Tintin word for word. He's just finished The Secret Detectives by Ella Risbridger which begins with someone being thrown into the sea from a mail ship. I draw the line at sex crimes. I think you'd struggle to find anything like that in the 9-12 bit at Waterstones, but do let me know what you come up with.

As for not telling us, he probably didn't realise it was taboo. I try not to make any topics off limits for discussion and I attempted to answer his questions in the best way I could. Doesn't mean I want to introduce those topics myself.

To pick up on a comment from someone earlier, I have talked to him about the biology of sex, but he didn't seem like he wanted to discuss it further, so I left it. Was planning to wait until he was more curious about it.

I remember doing the same at around 10 years old and thinking to myself it was really appropriate

No you didn't.
You said you had no TV and he had "no internet"

It's like those people who say "oh I never watch TV" and then tell you about the latest series they've "binged" on Netflix.

You also said you hadn't had "the sex" talk with him yet but now you apparently have.

I'm out.

I said we had no telly. We don't. That doesn't stop us from using streaming but we don't have Freeview or sky or whatever. I never said we don't watch things.

I didn't say he had no internet - where? I did say he has no unfettered access.

I haven't had the sex talk because he didn't seem bothered. I gave him a book about human biology with a bit in it about reproduction. I tried to discuss it a bit but he wasn't really bothered so I left it. I wouldn't call this the full birds and bees chat.

Yanbu but you're doing him a disservice by not discussing things like sex (8 is pretty old not to know) His peers may be watching Newsround (it's quite common to watch it at school) so aware of stuff like the situation in Ukraine.

In the 80s, we had school newspaper with page 3 girls.

I agree the response from the teacher wasn't very good. I'm sure the school will be receptive to suggestions you have though- fund raising for the wipe clean cloths or perhaps arranging donations of the financial Times etc would be a good place to start.

Agree with this 100%

Not to go into full life history but he's neurodiverse so it's going to take a bit more time and effort to improve his emotional resilience and maturity.

Poor kid.

It sounds like an unfortunate slip up by the school. I agree with a previous poster however, who commented that the teacher's response is very unprofessional. As a teacher myself, I always try to make sure there's nothing inappropriate or controversial on newspapers that I use to cover the tables for art. It just makes everybody's life easier all round.

Not the point but I would have LOVED a true crime class in school!

I'm a teacher and scan the page as I put it down over the tables to make sure the storied aren't inappropriate but it's easy to miss something when you're in a rush at lunch time. I agree the response from the head was wrong though! He should have apologised.

I mean, I am a teacher and I do give the newspapers I use for this a once-over. It’s not actually hard to do so.

I really think this is one of the most absird and precious threads i have read in a while.
Do you never have the news on at home? Have you never taken your child into a newsagent ? Or fo you blindfold him until you have censored u he articles on yhe front page? I think its a little poor that at 8 your child is not being exposed to current affairs .I.mean the news is on before the 9 pm watershed, so obviously most people are not in agreement with you