8 year old reading grim newspaper article at school

[Pearlclutching]

Name changed but have been hanging out around here for almost a decade.

I don't know if I'm overreacting and would like some advice.

DS8 and I were at the shops at the weekend, and he spotted a headline on the local paper. Something along the lines of Sex Offender Convicted of Taplow Lake Murder. He was immediately interested and said he knew all about it, rattling off accurate, detailed information about the case and the previous offences of the man responsible. He told me he'd read a big article about it on a sheet of newspaper being used to cover the table in an art class. He asked me what a sex offender is and why someone would bind and gag a woman before killing them. We haven't had a talk about sex and I really don't want his first knowledge of it to be violent and negative.

When I told my husband, he was horrified and said I should let the school know. Not so much a complaint as a heads-up.

This morning, I told the head of lower school what happened but didn't make any requests or give any opinion - just stated the facts. He chuckled, said my son will do well on the crime round at pub quizzes in future, and praised his curiosity.

Is it reasonable to expect a school to make some effort to shield lower school pupils from the details of sex crimes and sexually-motivated murder or is the head of lower school right to chuckle and say it's fine? My husband thinks I should go to the headmaster, but I'm not sure.

Really interested to know what people think.

*absurd

Yes, that will do for starters! Good grief.

I've got a stack of old newpapers (2019) aquired from a relative's stash. I needed some pages to send in with my y4 for some of his media work, and due to the themes of a lot of the ongoing news stories there were a lot on unsuitable themes right through the papers and it took a few editions to find something more innocuous. There was a lot of coverage of CSA investigations at the time. However right through the paper there were stories of "adult themes" peppered through.

If I was taking papers in to cover the tables at my youth group, I'd be checking p3 and for obviously gory material, but I'm not going to read 10 papers thoroughly to make sure nothing unsuitable goes through. They'd probably look like and be as useful as a doily if I did strictly vet them!

The news is more detailed and gory than it once was. In a way that's good; compared to growing up in an era where the likes of Jimmy Saville were going about their business unchallenged. You don't get the tame free local papers any more. The ratio of paper copies of broadsheets must be down. While the teacher's attitude was poor, it's just not practical to scruitinise the full content of papers being used as disposable table coverings.

DS1 is neurodiverse and takes a lot of interest in the news. I listen to the radio a lot and I am surprised that even from the hourly headlines, that I haven't had questions like "mummy, what's child sexual abuse?". I know some days I'll have to turn off detailed discussion shows, and to be fair they sometimes put out a warning about younger listeners, but I'm not blocking the headlines for 3 minutes hourly!

Please have a look through my posts. There's a button that allows you to see all of the OP's contributions. He's not at all ignorant of current affairs and crime, only (until recently) of sex crimes.

So - all the teachers in the thread actually agree with OP and say they can do and scan newspapers for this sort of thing, and everyone else piles on her and says she’s precious and can’t possibly expect teachers to do this…

This thread is amazing. And not in a good way!

The number of posters who are openly sneery at op for limiting her Dc's access to the internet - it's none of your business, and a lot better for the dc than being on a screen all the bloody time.

Op, I quite agree about safeguarding. The teacher's response was poor, and there is no suggestion that he will change his ways in future and screen newspapers, so I'd probably take this further.

To clarify: we watch programmes on a screen and projector. He knows how to turn this on and has access to kids Netflix, CBBC, Amazon prime... He has a tablet. He reads children's newspapers and watches Newsround at school. We talk about the news all the time. I realise I didn't go into detail at first (not my first AIBU and should have known better) but there's been a lot of reaching going on here.

We're not anti telly: we just watch things in a slightly unusual way which means that the TV news is never on. This is a consequence rather than an active choice. He doesn't have his own computer (do all other 8 year olds?) and we don't buy daily newspapers (circulation figures suggest we're not alone here) because we have phones.

Making sure he's aware of the world does not mean I have to allow him to know about and read about everything.

My parents stopped having the Sunday papers delivered because I was a readaholic, and was picking up lots of unsuitable information from News of the World etc. I remember reading about 'The suitcase murder' and wondered what a 'torso' was, I was under the impression that it was something scary and awful, until I looked it up in the dictionary, I was about 8. I don't think it affected me in any detrimental way.
I would celebrate the fact that he is an avid reader and collector of information.

Sorry, poor choice of words: doesn't mean I should /encourage/ him to read about everything. I'm hardly going to hand him a load of true crime books and let him get on with it.

I have not read all the thread, but where I worked we used to cover the tables with cheap plastic table cloths there is no need to use newspaper. I think it is worth asking if the school can buy some or ask for parents donations of them

Another teacher perspective.

I do not have the time to check newspapers for sensitive material. Most days I don’t even lay them out. The students grab themselves some sheets and cover the tables themselves.

If there is any material that raises eyebrows they normally tell me and I tell them to turn it over or get another piece to cover it. Job done!

Admittedly, I do work in secondary rather than primary.

Should the teacher have responded better? Yes. It’s unfortunate your child was exposed to that particular story but it’s happened.

@Pearlclutching you don’t need to defend your approach to tech. Goodness, the amount of threads on here complaining about kids behaving awfully because of certain computer games, or kids not wanting to do anything other than go on devices, or kids being addicted to social media… but the moment a parent takes an intentional approach to tech they’re berated?! What a strange place.

and yes I also note it’s interesting how all the teachers are on your side! 😆

This is probably why certain PP are sneering, calling OP precious, & remarking "poor thing" about a child who doesn't watch TV. It assuages the guilt for those with DC being fed a diet of unlimited screen time, because it's easier than parenting.

It’s the head of lower school’s response that I’d be most concerned about - very poor judgment.

I clearly remember reading about the Vietnam war as a small child and playing caring for my baby doll who had been injured by napalm. I could read well and was self taught before I went to school. My parents worked very long hours and my older sisters who had to care for me and hated it as they have let me know throughout my life just left me to it.

My psychologist mate said that letting children know about awful things in a safe environment could ultimately help protect them.

No guilt here. I have never understood people who force their kids to live their parents lives. Mine are rarely at home unless they have friends over, they have their own lives and interests. I appreciate I live in a very safe country with lots of facilities and it wouldn't be the same exactly in the UK but I still wouldn't want them to be forced to follow my beliefs. We have tvs in most rooms and have just had a wet tv installed outside. No guilt just watch a lot of yv and we all like the background noise. I grew up with my mum listening to the radio pretty much 24/7. As a result I am pretty good at quizzes and haven't missed the archers since I was about 10. Some gritty subjects there, straight over my head.

It's 12 years since I was a primary teacher but we didn't use newspaper for just this reason. Plastic wipe clean covers all the way.

Agreed. Most kids need more, not fewer, restrictions on technology. I wonder if some posters are feeling defensive about their own parenting, frankly.

OP, if your son's reading abilities are as advanced as you say, he'll soon be reading books that reference issues such as sexual abuse. That being said, the teacher's reaction is weird and a bit creepy.

I am struggling to understand how having a screen and projector instead of a TV is a belief, or how this is being foisted on our child. It's just the way in which we watch programmes: nothing more. Were we meant to buy a flat screen for every room with the cot and pram? I could just as easily argue (but won't as I really don't mind) that you are making your children live your TV-filled life. I really don't have any strong opinions on other people's TV watching habits or number of TVs, wet or otherwise.

As I've alluded to earlier, he is autistic. The background noise you like would be hell for him, he's too young to be wandering in and out of the house with friends in tow, and what independent interests is he meant to have at 8? If he's interested in stuff, we support him in that, and he does plenty of activities at school, clubs and at home.

@ZoeCM I had an adult reading age in primary school and I didn't read Flowers in the Attic until I was at least 13! I reckon he'll be happy with the 9-12 section for a while longer.

Bit they don't have a TV free life. They spend most of their time in the pool or out with their friends. Tv is not relevant, it's just a noise

Tv filled not free

You said you watch a lot of TV.

No I said we have a lot of tvs and it's generally on in the background. I also said that kids are mostly either out with their mates or in the pool and that the tvs seem to be more background noise. I have a live in helper so I don't use screens to babysit. I live in a xompound with great facilities so I don't use screens to make up for outdoor time with friends. We have a pool which is generally full of teenagers the tv is used for music and tiktok. There is literally nothing in our lives that has been damaged by a bit of TV. You do.you and I judge you I do me and you judge me
Leave it at that otherwise you will start to look like a bully.

Nice drip drip. My kids are not autistic, if my situation was different, the household would be different. Do you seriously think in your position I would force a child to live in an environment that distressed them. Luckily its not something I have had to consider but your arrogance and manipulative posting is something else.