To not understand claims that life admin is 'not a thing'

[LabradorsInThePond]

I keep reading this on MN threads about organisation, time management etc. And that the life admin tasks of renewing insurances and checking mortgage rates can't take up that much time. But I spend a huge amount of time in the throes of life admin. We live a pretty normal, busy family life. I work 4 days in a professional role and can easily spend the 5th day (or at least half of it) in the throes of dreaded life admin.

My list tomorrow extends to twenty three separate items. None of which involve renewing insurances, but they do include buying clothing items (Scout shirt etc.), paying instrument hire, photocopying medical reports for school, booking airport parking, collecting worming tablets, booking a restaurant, buying zoo tickets, arranging a delivery of flowers for mum's birthday, an online grocery shop, buying a thank you gift, arranging a birthday party, booking a roofer, buying new windscreen wipers, emailing the GP, updating kids' Nimbl cards, finding a way to teach DS about dividing decimals, paying various people online etc.

None of these are yearly tasks, and next week there will be another 23 items to complete. It is relentless. DH does most of the house and long-term financial admin and he's also executing his father's too-complicated will, which makes my 23 items look like peanuts.

Do we just have an over-committed life, or does anyone one else find (what others consider non-existent) life admin burdensome and time-consuming? What am I doing wrong here?

@Badbadbunny

"YANBU. To do it properly it takes time.

Thing is that those who say it doesn't are the ones who "wing it" through life, probably over-pay for things because they don't shop around nor check the detail (hence paying for things they don't need or paying for same thing twice), and then the ones with "sad faces" on social media when they turn up at the airport to find their passport isn't valid or they've not got booked seats, etc etc., "

I disagree. That's an assumption and a half. I don't think I've ever winged it in my whole life. I'm extremely organised and I have plenty of time in fact hours most evenings free to check out the best deal and search and search and search to find the cheapest option if I choose to.

Or within minutes I can book flights, airport parking, reserve restaurants in Berlin, get a hotel booked, and book the Reichtag tour. I can manage all that within about 10 minutes maximum.

And my passport and all our details, life insurance and MOT etc is always up to date. so I have no idea where you get this idea that people are winging it, because believe you me , not all of us are!

This is exactly what I mean about people making big work of a short task. All this stuff comes down to ‘check zoo price and if we’re eligible, book tickets.’

If the issue is money then that’s a separate problem. I’m certainly not rich but listing out all the tasks of booking a day out like it’s a full time job doesn’t help. I often used to go on cheap days to the park when we were really struggling. I suppose op could have another little list there.

search picnic spots
make list of picnic foods
check budget
travel to local tesco
use hands to transfer sandwich materials to shopping basket
use card to pay for sandwich materials
prepare sandwiches and wash up
lift sandwiches into picnic basket
transfer picnic basket to living room
walk to park
use hands to spread blanket
sit on blanket and divide sandwiches between children

Or, as I would usually say ‘make some sandwiches and walk down the park, lovely day for it.‘

I am absolutely the same as @Oblomov22 I do it as soon as I receive it. DH will schedule it though and sometimes therefore forget to do it.

I do have a job that requires me to continually respond to stuff though - it isn't a thinking role.

Lot of assumptions there!

I think you may have gotten this the wrong way round. I like doing things properly, will think through purchases, make comparisons and try to get the best option. I get a lot of satisfaction from lists and from ticking things off them.

But I don't think this is a job. Also, almost everything can be done online at any time of day.

The only life admin that is excruciatingly long these days is when you have to make a phone call. I've spent endless hours listening to covid messages, explanations as to why they are taking so long and pressing a number to get to the next (endless) list of choices. It drives me mad! Unless they are Wessex water who are absolute stars - I ring, a person answers the phone, sort the query, hang up - if everyone followed their model phone calls would be fabulous!

Everything else in my life I just do while watching tv or having coffee.

But what about the consequences of forgetting to do something?

Not everything can be done there and then as soon as you think of it. Even in the internet world, a website may be down, your own internet may be down, there may be a sequence of events, i.e. check passports, book holiday, book holiday insurance, then book airport car park, destination car hire, etc etc. Doing it in the wrong order or forgetting a step (because you couldn't do it there and then) could cause higher cost or more work/stress to sort it out.

Take shopping lists. How many people "can't be bothered", but then forget things and have to pay expensive prices at a convenience store to bridge the gaps of things they forgot.

I sat down to organise some photos the other day for the first time in a year, because I wanted to finish my DD's baby book and get a couple of photos to print out and put on her wall, plus make space on my phone. I was an hour in when DD woke up and I had to stop. I wasn't even halfway through.

Other people I know just don't do it at all, so they have no photos on the walls and no photo albums.

I have been busy this morning shredding paperwork that goes back at least 15 years. Mammoth task, so I do an hour each day. Might be done by end of the year 😂

I take your point though, life admin is neverending.

Ok so OP Can't do it during the day as part of her job. (as an aside if you never take a lunch break then surely that is not healthy. by law you're supposed to have a 20 minute break after x hours. and if you're driving somewhere then you probably should've had a 20 minute break before. Why are you not factoring in your time to drive, before you see your next client, as part of your day? I actually think this probably needs addressing).

So why can't you donmany of these things at night, take them off the list : book this, order that, order from Amazon / eBay, book a doctor's appointment etc.
many of the things you've listed a really easy to do in the evenings.

There may be certain things that are harder to do and you have to do them during the day i.e. phone bank or phone the secretary of a consultant to rearrange a medical appointment appointment. You will have to find time to do these day tasks. Somehow.

Agree with this.

Just do bits as and when - by doing in one go it seems like more than it is. Things like booking a restaurant online takes about 1 minute

Or those people do lots of things but are super efficient at managing their lives. I don't understand how most of those things on the OP's list can take more than a few minutes.

Same as you OP I work 4 days find most of my day off is catching up on these tasks. Some I get done on phone day to day but others if need look something up, think, plan ect need to sit down at computer when I've time to action.
My children do lots activities most now have some system log in book pay ... All take time. Get way too many emails hard spot the important ones over advertisement.

This is all about how “having it all” actually means “doing it all”.

In the days where one salary could support a family, there was another adult who did all these things (without the luxury of technology), and did them properly.

Now, people say thank you notes are unimportant. Are they? Or are they just less important than sleep when you’re rushing around crazy busy with family and two FT working parents?

People used to care about appearances. Now people brag about not owning an iron - really, though, who had time to iron any more?

All you posters falling over yourself to show how nimble you are at multi-tasking, doing things in your lunch breaks or while the kettle boils. Isn’t a lunch break supposed to be a break where you eat lunch? Have some downtime to gather your energy for the rest of your working day? Chat with colleagues? Reflect on what happened in the first half of the day? Lunch breaks from a pod job aren’t meant to be a time to do chores and errands for home life. That’s does neither paid life or home life justice.

It all contributes to an overall very stressful and busy life where leisure, time to reflect, time to just exist and be are sacrificed at the altar of paying household bills. This isn’t the way anybody wants it, ideally, I think.

Work expands to fill the time allotted.

How true that is.

A commenter said if you’re busy already with full time work and other responsibilities, the admin chores get done quickly because time is at a premium. If you have no responsibilities then every chore is dragged out.

Also, some people are more efficient, goal oriented, decisive, and self motivated (disciplined) than others.

That said, I’m in the other category. Friday is desk day for me and that’s just to remind me to do those admin jobs. I would rather do them in one go than have to constantly fit them in throughout each day.

@ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave

Her list is sensible. Most of these things take minutes, annually. I can book our cars in for MOT in less than a minute.

So, I know this is harsh, but maybe OP's Problem is that she's got this woe-is- me / martyr syndrome re 'oh poor me, I've got so much to do', whereas the rest of us just get on and do for a few minutes every day.

Spot on! It reminds me of my old boss who at one point tried to make us work on our days off by saying "it would only involve answering a few client emails", as if it was a teeny little task I could do whilst sat on the loo or something.

My job at that point was about 70-80% answering client emails.

So yes, whilst each email probably took 2 minutes to write, each one could take anywhere from 2 mins to an hour to find the relevant info and action, and when you add up several emails per day you've suddenly got a full time job.

That's what life admin is like. (I don't mean it's a full time job, but it certainly adds up to a lot more than just "nothing".)

Not everyone finds their life hugely stressful or sacrifices their leisure time to complete basic tasks involved in running a home.

This is a great post. Agree 100%. Truth worth reflecting on and applying to our own lives.

Just how many people do you have to pay online in an average week?!

Yes, I agree, spot on. Good explanation of how much time is involved in those “small” jobs.

“collecting worming tablets”

I posted recently on a thread that whenever there is a “life admin” thread, or MH husband doesn’t do enough thread, there is always a pet.

Cherchez l’animale!

Yeah, there’s an additional tasks created by having them, but it’s a choice and it’s hardly a surprise.

I'm one who doesn't find life admin time consuming or stressful. Don't really understand the angst personally.

Booking a holiday - I don't need to check passports as I know off the top of my head when they expire. I book a package with transfers included, takes a click of a button. I have annual travel insurance so that's taken care of. There's a bus stop 7 minutes walk from my house with buses that go to the airport. Job done.

All my bills come out via direct debit. I don't own a car so nothing to do there.

Paying for DS's extra curriculars takes 2 minutes with an online bank transfer.

Dentist appointments are a once every 6 months job. Ring up and book, takes 5 minutes.

School forms. Takes 10 seconds to sign a piece of paper and pop it back in DS's school bag.

Looking after and running a house takes time, whoever does it and however it is shared out.

I just think calling it 'life admin' is a silly term to use.

I have a friend who can certainly be described as time-rich. No job, no children, no voluntary work or other commitments.

One day we caught up for lunch and he said he was exhausted after his busy week. When pressed this amounted to taking the car for it's MOT and letting the septic tank man in the garden for the annual emptying.

That was it. Not judging for a moment - it's his life - but I do think it perfectly illustrates that 'busy' is subjective.

I’m sure you’re right. But some do. Add on more than two children; an above-average demanding job or one that doesn’t allow you to leave work at work; ailing parents; a child with extra needs; health concerns; children in different schools; a partner who has problems or can’t or won’t pull their weight; a bully boss; a child experiencing problems; a child excelling at a hobby etc Any one thing can sometimes tip someone over the edge. None of these things in themselves is extraordinary. But when there’s no fat in your life, it can feel like too much.

It’s wrong to deny someone their lived experience. It’s wonderful you have a balanced life - I do too. I very much appreciate it.