To not understand claims that life admin is 'not a thing'

[LabradorsInThePond]

I keep reading this on MN threads about organisation, time management etc. And that the life admin tasks of renewing insurances and checking mortgage rates can't take up that much time. But I spend a huge amount of time in the throes of life admin. We live a pretty normal, busy family life. I work 4 days in a professional role and can easily spend the 5th day (or at least half of it) in the throes of dreaded life admin.

My list tomorrow extends to twenty three separate items. None of which involve renewing insurances, but they do include buying clothing items (Scout shirt etc.), paying instrument hire, photocopying medical reports for school, booking airport parking, collecting worming tablets, booking a restaurant, buying zoo tickets, arranging a delivery of flowers for mum's birthday, an online grocery shop, buying a thank you gift, arranging a birthday party, booking a roofer, buying new windscreen wipers, emailing the GP, updating kids' Nimbl cards, finding a way to teach DS about dividing decimals, paying various people online etc.

None of these are yearly tasks, and next week there will be another 23 items to complete. It is relentless. DH does most of the house and long-term financial admin and he's also executing his father's too-complicated will, which makes my 23 items look like peanuts.

Do we just have an over-committed life, or does anyone one else find (what others consider non-existent) life admin burdensome and time-consuming? What am I doing wrong here?

It is a lot but I do most on my phone while I'm watching TV. I either do things while I think about them or set a reminder on Google Keep to do it later.

A lot of those things I just do as and when. Eg scout uniform buying wouldn’t even go onto a list, I’d just pop online and order without ever thinking of it again. Same with online grocery shop, I just do as and when then by the end of the week the order is already in my basket and ready to go. Music instrument fees and school fees I just pay as and when they arise. Thankfully they’re usually emailed to me so it’s as simple as clicking the link and paying online, which takes seconds to do (as I just pay online with Apple Pay). Just keep it simple! I may be winging it, but it’s working for me.

Best advice is to have a touch it once approach. If you've got time to read the emailed invoice, you've time to pay it straight away. When you book the holiday, book the airport parking. Whilst you're having the conversation with DH/Friend etc about going out for dinner - pop online and make the reservation whilst chatting etc.

Pick up stuff like pet treatments/windscreen wipers etc when you're in or passing town, rather than making a special trip for each item (and don't leave things til the last minute, so they don't become urgent tasks).

DH and I both have full time, busy professional jobs, we have 2 children, 3 pets, 2 sets of elderly parents needing our help plus a vulnerable sibling we have to help too. We do all of those things all the time, without the luxury of a day off to do them in. We manage fine. We don't think of it as specific "life admin" - we just call it life! We fit it in easily enough, and still have plenty of leisure time!

Or they are just much more efficient at keeping on top of it, and therefore is no big deal. It takes about 5 minutes to book airport parking, it's hardly a big job

My list tomorrow extends to twenty three separate items. None of which involve renewing insurances, but they do include buying clothing items (Scout shirt etc.), paying instrument hire, photocopying medical reports for school, booking airport parking, collecting worming tablets, booking a restaurant, buying zoo tickets, arranging a delivery of flowers for mum's birthday, an online grocery shop, buying a thank you gift, arranging a birthday party, booking a roofer, buying new windscreen wipers, emailing the GP, updating kids' Nimbl cards, finding a way to teach DS about dividing decimals, paying various people online etc.

Almost none of those are tasks that I do more than about once a year. I don't do most of them at all. The most common task in the list for me is "Paying people online", which is 2 payments x 3 terms = 6 times a year, and takes a couple of minutes each time.

Airport parking: a tiny part of arranging a holiday, which most people only do once a year.

For me all those are just a long winded way of listing out normal daily tasks in a painfully monotone way to make regular daily occurrences seem like huge jobs. I usually see it on here with people saying they’re so busy as they have ‘life admin.’ But most of your list isn’t a big thing. Booking airport parking - 2 minutes online and not exactly a daily chore. Finding a way to teach child about maths - doing homework which is a daily chore for all parents. Picking up worming tablets and doing online grocery shop - again not a huge chore. Buying a scouts shirt? Well how often does that need doing? Not very often.

I think some people over complicate everything in life and have to appear SO SO busy. Oh I have all my LIFE ADMIN. I’m sooooo busy. But we all grocery shop. We all help our kids with homework. We all pick things up from the shop. We all have to buy clothes for our kids. I’m not denying people do it, I just don’t see any need to list it all out as your ‘life admin.’

My idea of life admin is things like car insurance, house insurance, tax return, mot and service on car.
Everything else is just life. Shopping is done online while I'm watching TV or eating my lunch. Bills are paid automatically out of the bank
It's just being an adult

Couldn’t agree more.

And as for booking a restaurant and zoo tickets and arranging flowers… I mean it’s hardly strenuous work, is it? If anything booking days out is a treat in my family! But I mean going on the zoo website, clicking 4 tickets and then paying isn’t exactly scrubbing the marble floors with a toothbrush. Buying thank you gifts etc… just all sounds like so busy doing not much.

@ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave - I think the point is that this is just one week out of many and there will be another set of jobs next week

I get that, but nobody can actually come up with a long list of things that need to be done weekly. All the lists include tenuous "life admin" chores that are annual or at most a few times a year. So I just don't believe them.

YANBU. To do it properly it takes time.

Thing is that those who say it doesn't are the ones who "wing it" through life, probably over-pay for things because they don't shop around nor check the detail (hence paying for things they don't need or paying for same thing twice), and then the ones with "sad faces" on social media when they turn up at the airport to find their passport isn't valid or they've not got booked seats, etc etc., or the ones who constantly need chasing because they've not paid a bill, or not submitted a form to school, etc. Basically, they rely on everyone around them to remind them of things, or sort out problems of their own making. Or they always shop at the same supermarket then whinge about inflation, when they could save money by spending a little time to shop around, check prices online, etc.

😂

Yeah, that’s it. I just don’t bother grocery shopping, paying people, buying my kids clothes, having birthday celebrations. Life is SO much easier with no painfully long lists of ‘life admin.’

To be honest the life admin people could get most of their lists done in the time they take listing it all out.

I completely disagree. Or rather it doesn't take me that long, if I add it all up. But the big difference is that I do it as I go along. Ds's late teens now, but even when they were babies, I have loads of time, at least 2-3 hours every evening to do stuff. Most of my friends don't have any time in the evening but I have always seemed to have tonnes.

Now the boys are older the evenings are very much my own but to be honest they always were, because even when were they were tiddly I was organised. I did everything as I went along: I batch cooked, so I had a dinner partly made or defrosting so it was ready within minutes of DH coming home.

I then put the stuff in the dishwasher and I sit down. there's nothing to do. I don't need to do washing or ironing because I've already done it throughout the day, a few minutes here, a few minutes there. washing, ironing, quick hoover, done within a matter of minutes.

As soon as I get anything, be it an email from the school or ordering a mufti day outfit or buying a present for a birthday party, I action it immediately: order an outfit off eBay or Amazon, get a birthday present ordered to be delivered on Amazon the next day. I have a bunch of cards in the cupboard and stamps ready to go at all times.

So I never have 23 things on my list. I never have more than one or two things on my list, ever. When I'm at home in evening or even when I'm at work I can book a restaurant within 30 seconds. I can send an email. I can write on the GP surgery that I need an appointment to speak to the nurse about my HRT medication. all of this takes seconds. I can do it whilst I am at work.

so I don't have anything on my list for long, sometimes I have three or four things on my list of things to do at a push. I do all the other things as soon as I hear about them or the next day or within a couple of days.

I just action everything. I think it's a mindset thing. I just get on and do it, and I'm always puzzled because I literally cannot understand why more people at least don't try to do this, failing maybe, but at least trying.

It’s never been easier, you don’t even have to go to the shops, just order groceries online and someone else will do the job for you ffs?!

Everyone has “life admin” to some degree though. It’s just part of being alive really. No one is saying it doesn’t exist but it’s often cited as a reason not to get a job for example. It’s not - it’s just part of being an adult and for some things part of being a parent.

Honestly it takes longer to write a list and count all those things up than it actually takes to just do them.

I disagree that people who don’t see it as “work” don’t have things going on in their lives or expect others to do it. It’s just part of normal life.

@Kanaloa

But I mean going on the zoo website, clicking 4 tickets and then paying isn’t exactly scrubbing the marble floors with a toothbrush.

If you've got the money to pay full price, then crack on and do it. Lots of people can't, so need to spend time to find discount/offer codes, or see if they can use Tesco Reward points, or whatever, to make it affordable.

Not to mention checking the small print to see if online tickets are transferrable to different days (in case of bad weather or child illness), etc.

Or if you're a family, having to check whether you're eligible for a family ticket, i.e. check age/composition allowed for family tickets, age limit for child tickets, age for OAP tickets, etc.

If you've no car, you also have to check for public transport availability, bus routes, bus stops nearby, timetables, etc.

It all comes down to money really, If you are lucky enough not to care about prices and have your own transport, then things suddenly become a lot easier.

Sorry, didn't read the whole thread.

Has anyone mentioned the huge difference between how long it takes to actually do something vs. how much attention and headspace it takes to plan, remember, execute?

Plus transitions i.e. the amount of concentration and energy it takes to move from the task you are working on to the thing that needs doing at this time and not before/after.

This hugely depends on your type of job and your type of brain.

My job requires high levels of concentration. My brain needs a long time to warm up. The planning and remembering is what exhausts me. The 'mental load' if you will. I can work 12 hours straight. Interrupt my train of thought and it takes me absolute ages to get back on track. Life admin is a neverending set of fucking interruptions!.

I agree with you. As a single person I should have less life admin and I do, but I still have to pay attention to it.

My DB and SIL with their son have to keep tabs on it and SIL works full time and either does it in spare minutes (DB works but some days on and off, contracts) or DB does it.

My mum etc when we were kids (and even now, she's retired) spent loads of time doing this but due to no internet/computers it was more letter based.

As @HobnobsChoice says it's only expanding to take up as much time as you allow on them.

I suppose if someone makes a full day of it sitting in their home office they can make it seem like a job. But to me, they're all just things you do as you go along, one or two each day while you wait for the kettle to boil or wait to pick children up. About half the things on your list are fun and leisure activities. Arranging parties, restaurants, birthday gifts and days out are 'admin' only in the way that ordering a meal in a restaurant is 'delegation' or totting up the bill afterwards is 'accounting'. I don't even know why the term 'life admin' became a thing tbh.

Why would anyone come to that conclusion? Most people have kids that do after school activities, they have to deal with school, medical stuff, they do some nice things which require booking and planning, house maintenance, it’s hardly anything exceptional. We have a fairly busy life, two teens, lots of pets, work, volunteering, we have 2 houses, go out for meals, concerts, similar stuff to others around us.

I just don’t mind doing it and have never found it difficult. It really is part of life, I don’t see booking nice things or buying my kids clothes or organising parties as a chore to get out of the way. The only things that are annoying is when you go round in circles because something like doctors/school procedures are inefficient and it takes 5 phone calls to get something that should be much simpler. But again, that’s life.

I think some people just get more overwhelmed with it than others for various reasons.

Agreed also with @Oblomov22 - action when it comes up. At least this is what I tend to do. Birthdays etc I have them planned in advance, spare presents etc, my DM is similar - but means we can log onto e.g. Moonpig for a card, order a gift from a few websites including Notonthehighstreet etc and anything extra needed.

This is what gets people's backs up or makes them laugh about "life admin". People making out everything is a monumental task when it takes almost zero headspace and literally a minute to do.

Exactly, I suspect people waste far more headspace creating these giant lists of nothing tasks and worrying about life admin than they would if they just did stuff

I agree with the OP. What makes it all so much harder and more time-consuming is that I hardly ever get things done with one phone call or email. I'm sre it used to be simpler when places had more staff instead of you having to do everything yourself.

And so many things involve long waits on the phone, pressing buttons to get to the next stage but one false move and you're back to the beginning. Or you leave a message which isn't returned, so you do the same the next day, and the next.

Sorry if others have said this -- didn't have time to read every comment, plus I started this post ages ago and have been interrupted three times ...