To not understand claims that life admin is 'not a thing'

[LabradorsInThePond]

I keep reading this on MN threads about organisation, time management etc. And that the life admin tasks of renewing insurances and checking mortgage rates can't take up that much time. But I spend a huge amount of time in the throes of life admin. We live a pretty normal, busy family life. I work 4 days in a professional role and can easily spend the 5th day (or at least half of it) in the throes of dreaded life admin.

My list tomorrow extends to twenty three separate items. None of which involve renewing insurances, but they do include buying clothing items (Scout shirt etc.), paying instrument hire, photocopying medical reports for school, booking airport parking, collecting worming tablets, booking a restaurant, buying zoo tickets, arranging a delivery of flowers for mum's birthday, an online grocery shop, buying a thank you gift, arranging a birthday party, booking a roofer, buying new windscreen wipers, emailing the GP, updating kids' Nimbl cards, finding a way to teach DS about dividing decimals, paying various people online etc.

None of these are yearly tasks, and next week there will be another 23 items to complete. It is relentless. DH does most of the house and long-term financial admin and he's also executing his father's too-complicated will, which makes my 23 items look like peanuts.

Do we just have an over-committed life, or does anyone one else find (what others consider non-existent) life admin burdensome and time-consuming? What am I doing wrong here?

She wasn’t really having a loan about life admin. She was moaning about people who don’t believe it’s a big deal, day in and day out.

That not someone feeling like they have a lot to do at a certain point and just wanting to moan. That’s someone who dislikes people who won’t agree it’s a big deal, day in day out. That’s more of an ongoing though process.

You may not be sneering Kanaloa but there is definitely a whiff of "oh aren't I competent as compared to these other dimwits" from some posters on this thread!

We are all different. And our living circumstances and task lists are different too. Some people have more money to throw at tasks than others. Some of us are unable to mix work tasks with personal tasks. Some of us need the head space to be able to walk the dog in peace! Some are better at tech than others.

Great if people genuinely feel that life admin is easy and a matter of moments a few times a week. I don't feel that way about it at all. I am generally not incompetent in other areas of life so why do people immediately jump to the conclusion that those of us who find it trying are somehow deliberately making "mountains out of molehills"? As mentioned previously, I spent a long time yesterday trying to book an ultrasound appt. That wasn't incompetence. That was lack of staff at the other end answering the phone.

I sort of agree, but on the other hand I have experience in tech design, and it's surprising the amount of hand holding people find useful.

Think of gov.uk website processes - they're always one question at a time, which I find painstaking. But they're designed to meet the needs of people who like tasks to be more broken down.

My previous team were systems-people. I rarely needed to give them much direction, and most online systems are self-service these days. I currently work with people-people and I have to bite my tongue so often because I just scream internally this is so easy. But then they're delivering skills for the core functions of the business and I'm not and I don't have those skills.

(Of course, I also don't CARE about doing the laundry precisely, which helps greatly.)

can't Google "Manchester airport parking T1" .....

If anyone is making that into more than a couple of minutes of effort, I'd be concerned about them driving to the airport in the first place.

@SofiaSoFar

actually that’s the only time I ever see these silly ‘life admin’ lists on here. It’s always someone explaining why they couldn’t possibly work full time/is a sahm. When actually these are just normal parts of life that the rest of us just do. If you want a day off enjoy it! Don’t feel guilty about it. Wish I could have one. But don’t try to drag out ridiculous things like ‘pick up worming tablets’ to make it sound like your day off is actually totally necessary to do ‘life admin.’

Exactly.

Nobody is assuming that.

But even if you work full-time and have multiple children and pets, a lot of these "life admin tasks" don't need to take up hours of your time - you can do most of them while you're sat watching TV after dinner.

Posters are are making assumptions though.

That everyone has a smart phone for a start! I'm in my mid-fifties and one of my elder sisters, who is in her 70s, doesn't. Quite a few of her friends don't either. They actually telephone one another using a land line and make appts via a land line too. Not everyone is familiar with modern tech.

Another vote for this comment

Well yes if op doesn’t have a smart phone some of these jobs will be significantly harder since she’ll need to call the zoo/florists/travel there. But as she said she does an online grocery shop I presume she has access to the internet and can use it competently.

@Calafsidentity I think it’s a reasonable assumption that most people have a smartphone, and it’s an even more reasonable assumption that most people in the group “posters on MN” will have one.

Sure, your 70+ yo sister doesn’t. But I’m guessing she’s not combining full time working and WBD costumes either.

Smartphones aren't exactly "modern tech" - they've been around for 20-odd years now. Most people in their seventies would still have been working full-time when smart-phones became popular - it's not like they were only invented last year.

I do understand that using technology can be intimidating if you're not used to it, but opting out of is still a choice, and one that's increasingly going to make your life harder and harder.

If you choose to opt out of modern technology and refuse to learn how to use things to make your life easier, then complaining that tasks are a harder as a result is a bit daft. It's a bit like refusing to buy a washing machine and complaining that it takes forever to wash stuff by hand.

@coffeecupsandfairylights but then when is your down time? I need some time to mentally switch off and just zone out watching TV sometimes, but rarely do because you can ‘just’ do this, that and the other while watching tv. All adds up and before you know it it’s 10.30 and you haven’t stopped yet.

Then you just need to put a limit on it, or have a think about whether everything you're doing is actually necessary.

I have to admit, I read a lot of threads on here from people listing all this "stuff" that needs doing and I think to myself that I've never done most of things in my entire life and I seem to be managing just fine.

Generally, life is as busy as you make it IMO.

*Posters are are making assumptions though.

That everyone has a smart phone for a start! *

Google says that 80%+ of UK adults own a smartphone

All the 'only takes two minutes' people are either lying (to themselves and everyone else) or living in a different time dimension.

This morning I sat down, without interruptions, to send a few emails/ make a phone call, it took an hour. In that time I...

Sent an email about work we are having done (unsatisfactorily), had to download some photos from NDN to attach into email, so definitely longer that 2 minutes.

Found out email addresses for local dance schools, email to get DD in waiting list, one got back with a link to their waiting list page, so had to set up log in for DD and add to waiting list myself, other one had incorrect email address, so it pinged back, I then had to resend message via messenger and still awaiting reply, so job not yet complete, already more than 2 minutes.

Phone to book horse riding in half term for DD, waited on hold whilst they checked diary for, you guessed it, more than 2 minutes.

Sent email about 1-2-1 swimming lessons, I've already put DD in 2 waiting list (one of which took 3 phonecalls as the kept making up different requirements), who knows how many more emails and phonecalls, and minutes of my time, there will be before DD gets a lesson, as there are 300 kids on the waiting list at the moment.

Email gymnastics to change day of session, still need to pay for next term when they get back to me, so going to be more than 2 minutes by the time it's done.

Filled in detailed enquiry form for dog behaviourist (dog has separation anxiety and we would like a holiday without him sometime in the next decade) and then liaised with her to arrange appointment.... More than 2 minutes.

That doesn't include any of my work admin, which has to be done in my own time, not my break and definitely not in work time, or anything relating to DDs SEN, mild in comparison to many children, but still time consuming.

But none of those are regular jobs unless you start your child in three new activities a week and have big building jobs done monthly. They’re one time things - once your child is in the activity you pay on collecting them or when convenient. Once the building work is done it’s done.

And dealing with a dog with problems is a bit annoying but you’re aware of that when you get a dog. It’s not an inevitable daily chore that we all must set huge amounts of time aside for.

Obviously if you get a dog and it has issues and then enrol your several children in time consuming hobbies there are tasks that go along with that. But if those tasks are too strenuous and time consuming you don’t actually have to do them. And they still don’t equal the ‘23 tasks’ op says crop up weekly.

Again, chechez l’animale 😆
It’s not that life admin doesn’t take time, it’s just that people don’t need to go on about it being A Thing.
I mean yes, it’s going to add tasks to your life if you want your child/ren to do swimming AND ballet AND riding AND gymnastics…
But some people (and I appreciate you are not one, you are just giving your example) talk about this Thing of life admin likes it’s an inevitable burden, but I don’t think it is inevitable, but a direct consequence of choosing to have a dog, and ballet, and gymnastics, and riding, and swimming.

Or we just don't do all of those things.

My DS does 3 extra curricular activities. They are the same day and time every week. All I have to do is pay via bank transfer every term.

I don't have pets. Can't be arsed.

I don't have work admin. I work my contracted hours and do nothing outside of those.

You have choices of how busy and stressful you want your life to be.

A lot of these tasks take a few seconds. There's really no need to make such a song and dance about booking a dentist appointment or buying something online.

Set up online shopping lists and just click the button.
I have a standard list and the. Just add a few different things to it each week.

Your mindset is most definitely working against you I feel.

Depends on your dentist really. Mine literally never answer their phone. It always goes to answerphone and then they phone you back later. If you can't answer when they call back, you've got to phone again and leave another message. So, no, it doesn't take just a few seconds.

As for buying online, does no one do any research, i.e. check review sites for the seller, do due diligence as to whether the seller is legitimate or not, do research as to what you want to buy, find the cheapest price, look at alternatives etc. OK if you're buying some consumable that you always buy from a trusted retailer, but if you're buying a one off or something occasionally, you surely do some research don't you?

Definitely mindset. Some people are always ‘busy’.

Then make your dentist appointment as you leave each time. Obviously if it’s a broken tooth/pain etc it’s different but that shouldn’t be a regular occurrence.

As for ‘researching’ every purchase, I genuinely don’t buy big expensive items that often. I might put a bit of research in if we’re buying a big item but how often is that? Not too often. As you said it’s a one off. So it can’t be taking up that much time in your life.

But none of those things are daily occurrences and most of them are optional too.

Everyone has days or weeks where it feels like you're constantly chasing your tail, but it shouldn't be a daily thing to feel that way - if it is, maybe have a look at what you're doing and see how much of it is actually necessary. I sometimes have weeks where the cat is unwell, the dog needs his vaccines, the car is due for a service and I need to get appointments booked in, but that happens a couple of times a year at most - it's certainly not a daily or even regular occurrence.

I mean - your DD doesn't need to do all those activities - it's all optional. So if you as her parent want her to do all of those extra-curriculars, surely you need to accept that you're choosing to take on a lot of extra work as a result?

I don't remember anyone doing multiple extra-curriculars when I was at school in the nineties - most people did one a week at most. Yes, they're fun things for your child to participate in but it's not necessary and if they're causing you all this stress and taking up all this time, maybe you need to think about cutting back for everyone's sake.

You have choices of how busy and stressful you want your life to be.

Exactly. Stop taking on loads of extra work and stress for yourself if you can't cope with it. I purposefully have easy pets (cats, and a dog that comes to work with me) and no children because, frankly, I can't be arsed with all the hassle that comes with being a parent, lol.