To not understand claims that life admin is 'not a thing'

[LabradorsInThePond]

I keep reading this on MN threads about organisation, time management etc. And that the life admin tasks of renewing insurances and checking mortgage rates can't take up that much time. But I spend a huge amount of time in the throes of life admin. We live a pretty normal, busy family life. I work 4 days in a professional role and can easily spend the 5th day (or at least half of it) in the throes of dreaded life admin.

My list tomorrow extends to twenty three separate items. None of which involve renewing insurances, but they do include buying clothing items (Scout shirt etc.), paying instrument hire, photocopying medical reports for school, booking airport parking, collecting worming tablets, booking a restaurant, buying zoo tickets, arranging a delivery of flowers for mum's birthday, an online grocery shop, buying a thank you gift, arranging a birthday party, booking a roofer, buying new windscreen wipers, emailing the GP, updating kids' Nimbl cards, finding a way to teach DS about dividing decimals, paying various people online etc.

None of these are yearly tasks, and next week there will be another 23 items to complete. It is relentless. DH does most of the house and long-term financial admin and he's also executing his father's too-complicated will, which makes my 23 items look like peanuts.

Do we just have an over-committed life, or does anyone one else find (what others consider non-existent) life admin burdensome and time-consuming? What am I doing wrong here?

No, I don't bother doing any of that. I might spend a while looking for holidays but I love doing that so it never feels like a chore.

As for buying online, does no one do any research, i.e. check review sites for the seller not really, I tend to buy from retailers I know are legit. And life is too short to try about 20 websites to find the best deal. If it seems fair I'll buy. If it seems too expensive, I won't.

I also have a Which? subscription, so if I do need something I look for their recommendations and then buy one I can afford which is ranked well by them. That saves a lot of time and effort!

Agree! My dh always questions whether we still need the subscription but it saves so much time and effort!!

As for buying online, does no one do any research, i.e. check review sites for the seller, do due diligence as to whether the seller is legitimate or not, do research as to what you want to buy, find the cheapest price, look at alternatives etc. OK if you're buying some consumable that you always buy from a trusted retailer, but if you're buying a one off or something occasionally, you surely do some research don't you?

Nope, not at all.

In my experience some of the items OP has listed are things that can be done in two minutes, for example I spend two minutes topping up my daughter’s lunch account while on the train to work.

But I often find tasks do take so much longer than you think and so doing a few of them in one day really does feel like a lot of time spent on ‘life admin’. For example I had to phone the hospital earlier to chase some results - this turned into nearly an hour of being in hold, being transferred between depts, another phone call to a specialist hospital I’d been to in the past etc. Equally buying something online can take two minutes or it can involve researching different products, prices, reading reviews etc and so can be time consuming.

I haven't read the whole thread so perhaps this has already been noted, but it's striking how many of those tasks relate to spending money. Perhaps it's not so much "life admin" as "consumer labour". If we all had simpler lives and spent less money then is it possible that we would also have more leisure time? Not having a pop at the OP, I'm as embedded in consumer society as the next person.

@CoralPaperweight No support from family apart from maybe a couple of times a year to babysit so DP and I can actually see each other! We work opposite each other so no childcare as we couldn't afford it anyway. I am very lucky to still have all my grandparents, two are in their 80s and 2 have just turned 90 so I support them with some care needs such as showering/bathing and other tasks such as shopping and cleaning.

Haven't RTFT but I think YANBU at all. I often (half) joke that I need a PA. I'm a full-time carer for disabled DC / SAHM and life admin takes up so much time. I appreciate things are different for me as a Sen parent but I spend most days chasing my tail!

I saw a few adverts for a nanny where people were looking for a full time nanny and paying around £40k for it but all children were at school. It was take children to school, then run errands eg dry cleaning, sort children's washing, sort children's toys, do pickup, then do the after school routine. So there must be enough to make it a full time job!

Oh I wish my doctor/dentist had online booking! That would make it so much easier!

My optician used to but they had too many people book and then not show up so they’ve stopped it now.

I think it depends on how busy your life is, and how many friends/how big your social life is!

We travel a lot for business and on holidays, so that takes hours to organise. The bills are automatic but need checking. Children's dentists/opticians/asthma checks/hair cuts/regular clothes checks and replacements/school trips/playdates/birthday parties/presents for family and friends/ Holiday activities and plans/school emails/school friends emails/ help with homework/organising sports and hobbies/ remembering the million and one fundraisers/volunteering for the fairs at school etc.
Yes you can let it all slide, but I don't that is good parenting and detrimental to the children's health, and of course an amazon voucher takes all of 5 seconds but we prefer to send thoughtful gifts.

We have dogs/cat and two rabbits all need walks/feeding/exercising/ attention.

Then there are house repairs, decorating, organising car insurance/tax/MOTs car repairs and associated recovery services

Checking on line refunds weekly and food shopping is life admin to keep everyone alive. My own long list of smears ( I have them annually) hair apps/pedi and mani/ waxing/opticians/physio for back/gym membership/dentist/teeth cleans etc. There is Christmas, which is huge. Birthdays, Easter and Halloween.

Then there is the catching up with friends/family making time for everyone. Organising nights out, dinner. 1000s of emails.

I haven't even started on actual work commitments.

I find it is bloody relentless. It is click on ocado and pay the odd bill, maybe if you have no kids, no pets and a very minimal social life it is like that...but not for me, or any of my friends.

Does nobody multitask? All these 'sat on hold on the phone' responses. I have my headphones in and my phone in my pocket and will do the washing up, hoover, do the online shopping.... while on hold. You don't need to dedicate all your attention to listening to hold music.

I find it interesting that many of the most vocal commenters suggest that "life admin" is not a thing and do-able in a couple of minutes here and there, but the poll results suggest otherwise. 67% in favour of YANBU! You are right, OP: "life admin" is a thing and it's a right old shag.

I have a child and a busy social life and I still don't find it relentless. Everything just gets arranged on Whatsapp. I really don't get what is so difficult about it.

Play dates. Quick message - "hi, does X fancy coming round to play on X date?" "Yes, great, what time?" "4pm?" "Yes, great." Job done.

School trips are a once or twice a year thing surely unless you have DC at private school.

Hair cuts - I pop into the barbers with DS on a Saturday, don't even need an appointment, you just wait your turn.

Dentist is a twice a year job.

Easter and Halloween - you CHOOSE how busy you make those things. Easter in my house is buy a couple of eggs. It doesn't need to be a big song and dance.

Decorating a house - how often do you actually do that? I haven't decorated my house in 2 years. It doesn't need it. Unless you are filthy and constantly trashing your house why would you need to do it so often?

I think some people just martyr themselves and make life more difficult than it has to be.

The poll doesn’t suggest otherwise at all. The poll suggests that a third of people don’t think it’s that big of a deal, it’s just part of being a parent, a pet owner, having family and friends etc and the other two thirds feel it’s a thing. It’s an individual thing. There’s not really a right or wrong, some people find this stuff easier than others.

When it comes to buying presents for people I just ask them what they want. No point wasting my time being "thoughtful" if it's something they won't even like. I'd rather get people something I know they want.

I suppose I'm just very practical. I like to make life easy.

Maybe the YANBU voters are too busy doing all their "life admin" to respond 😉

😂

It’s not a thing 99% of things like bills etc are now automated/DD/standing order. Other things are 2 min jobs.

We currently have an awful lot but that's partly due to moving house soon, Scouts, school clubs and trips, they generally take up a lot of my (allegedly) "free" time.

“hair apps/pedi and mani/ waxing”

also:

“relentless”

🤣🤣🤣

“organising car insurance/tax/MOTs car repairs and associated recovery services”

This is exactly the kind of thing that makes me say it’s about attitude, not amount of tasks.

What exactly is “organising” car insurance? When I first bought a car, I had to go into town and queue up to a broker, and I had to join the post office queue (after digging out documents) to get a tax disc.

Now? Well, I literally never think about tax as it’s a monthly DD.

Insurance? They send me the renewal and if I’m time poor and it hasn’t gone up, I can literally do no more than the time it takes to open the letter - and nothing else. If I want to check for a better deal, Go Compare etc has me sorted in under 5 minutes, right through to taking me through to buy.

Recovery services? Takes me zero time, it’s bundled with a bank account. But I recently took a policy out for my sister and a go compare type site sorted me in 5 minutes.

MOT? Reminder 6 weeks before in my phone, book it in. Granted the actual MOT and ad hoc repairs takes time to deal with… but not week in week out.

It looks ridiculous when you bundle that all up with sorting out car tax… it has been about 3 years since I set up my monthly payment, I think!

Just ended a 6-week long dispute with Lloyds Bank about something. Totted up all the phone time and found out I spent 6 hours on the phone in total, ⅔ if that in call waiting.

I often see references to jobs such as calling the bank only taking "5 mins" when it comes to life admin.
I've had calls to make about our mortgage recently, each call only took 5 minutes once I was talking to someone - but 40+ on hold waiting to be spoken to.
So is that a 5 minute job or a 45 minute one?

5 minutes if you get on with something else while you're waiting.