To not understand claims that life admin is 'not a thing'

[LabradorsInThePond]

I keep reading this on MN threads about organisation, time management etc. And that the life admin tasks of renewing insurances and checking mortgage rates can't take up that much time. But I spend a huge amount of time in the throes of life admin. We live a pretty normal, busy family life. I work 4 days in a professional role and can easily spend the 5th day (or at least half of it) in the throes of dreaded life admin.

My list tomorrow extends to twenty three separate items. None of which involve renewing insurances, but they do include buying clothing items (Scout shirt etc.), paying instrument hire, photocopying medical reports for school, booking airport parking, collecting worming tablets, booking a restaurant, buying zoo tickets, arranging a delivery of flowers for mum's birthday, an online grocery shop, buying a thank you gift, arranging a birthday party, booking a roofer, buying new windscreen wipers, emailing the GP, updating kids' Nimbl cards, finding a way to teach DS about dividing decimals, paying various people online etc.

None of these are yearly tasks, and next week there will be another 23 items to complete. It is relentless. DH does most of the house and long-term financial admin and he's also executing his father's too-complicated will, which makes my 23 items look like peanuts.

Do we just have an over-committed life, or does anyone one else find (what others consider non-existent) life admin burdensome and time-consuming? What am I doing wrong here?

Also the thing that can make it take longer is discussing it with DH….. are either of us working away that day or week? Who is doing which pick up of which dc? It’s not as easy as me deciding yes or no and pinging a reply as every day is different and needs planning and discussion!

*Don't get married/partner up with a lazy wanker, then.

So many people post on MN about 'doing it all' as if it's an inevitability.

No one forces you to be a mug, do they?*

Oh here we go ...nice bit of women-blaming right there!

But I think the point is that someone will say on Mumsnet that they feel worn out as they are working full time, raising the kids and doing all the life admin and get scoffed at or told its three minutes a week at most now you have google reminders.

But it’s not, I spend probably four or five hours a week doing this stuff. I have a lot of kids and two have SEND so there are lots of Hospital visits, therapy visits etc. I live in a ‘doer upper’ so there’s possibly stuff that I wouldn’t do with one NT kid in a new build that I do now. I accept it as part of life but it does rankle that it’s not seen as part of the work load of life.

I spend an insane amount of time on life planning, but that's optional and I do it because I enjoy it and it makes life easier, not because I have to, things like meal planning, cleaning plans, seasonal plans, kids activities plans...etc
But things like renewing home insurance, life insurance, nursery application, work paperwork only general take a few minutes here and there so I fit them around every day bits. Actually renewed our home insurance this morning whilst waiting for the kettle to boil.

Are you being deliberately obtuse? No, they're not a job in the sense of paid employment, but they are jobs in the sense that they are things that take time and energy, which all add up when you total them up, draining your energy as well as taking away from your rest and leisure time. Tasks don't become less time consuming or tiring just because you're not getting paid for them.

10 x 6 minute tasks = an hour. No matter how you distribute them, they still take an hour.

Those of us who have long term illnesses, dealing with the NHS sucks hours out of your life just trying to do the simple things like appointments. Certainly not just a few minutes to make an appointment or get a prescription. People with good health (self or family) just don't appreciate the nightmare of having to deal with the dysfunctional NHS.

My OH has cancer. He can spend a full morning just sorting out his monthly chemotherapy. He had to book the treatment date (which is usually a very long phone call as there is no direct line number handed out for the appointments office so he has to go through oncology and be transferred). Then when he has the date, he has to arrange a blood test on a specific date beforehand (not a day sooner nor later), so that means phoning the GP surgery to get an appt (cue the long phone queues, twenty questions, etc) - if they can't give him an appt on the right day, he has to phone a different number to get a blood test somewhere else, usually a local hospital), if they can't do the right day, he has to phone oncology back to change the chemo treatment day. Then comes getting the monthly prescription he needs, which includes a restricted drug, so has to be collected from the hospital, meaning another appointment (you can't just walk in to pick it up, it has to be handed over formally) at a different place to where he had his treatment, that means a phone call with a different appts office. All that is on top of getting the monthly appointment with the consultant which also hsa to be done "at the right time of the month" as they also need up to date blood tests before authorising the chemo! The whole thing could be done by the oncology dept if different staff would actually communicate with eachother, but no, every one just does their own bit and makes the patient do all the organising, liaison, etc.

I hate the phrase "life admin" - it's just "life", and some people will have a busier life than others do, and that's mostly because they've made choices that make it that way. Not in all cases (children with SEN or disabilities, for example) but generally most people opt to make their lives as busy as they are.

If you choose to have children, multiple pets, and to sign your children up to multiple activities etc, then you're bound to be busier than someone who's chosen to be child-free with no pets.

DH and I are both self-employed so we set our own working hours and working weeks. We have four pets but no DC and life admin is practically zero. All insurances (car, pet) are automated on DD, phone bills and household bills are the same. Their food and prescriptions are also set up automatically so they just get delivered on a rota and I don't even have to think about it. We don't have a cleaner or gardener or anything that involves weekly/monthly payments either.

The main reason we don't have DC is because we don't want all our free time taken over by running them around to activities, buying uniform, sorting out play-dates etc - basically, we're both quite lazy, selfish people at heart

But I have to admit it really confuses me when people make choices that are bound to lead to having a busy, hectic and stressful life and then complain about it - I just don't get it.

Most of those are 2-5 min jobs that I fit in around my full time job to be honest. I wouldn't take a full day to do them. I also automate stuff - the wormer gets posted to me vs me having to collect for example.

Loads of those can be cut back too.

Dont go to the zoo.
Don't have a pet.

Most payments etc can be automated and you can set up things like the online shop to have a repeating list of favourites.

I do things like buying clothes, emailing tradespeople etc while watching tv in the evening.

It's not life admin it's just life, all adults have to fit this sort of stuff in

If your 4 day working week is relentless during working hours with barely time to pee and grab a cuppa then I agree you won't find pockets of time to do them - and actually it's often those who don't work full "full time" hours but have to compress 5 into 4, 3 whatever who will feel like this - and it will easily take up a morning/day.

Tasks expand to fill the time available. Allocating yourself an admin day means you will spend a day doing admin.

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This is very true. One of the best time management tips I ever had was that a To Do list isn't enough by itself. You need to allocate a time limit to the task as it's added to the list.

That way if you have a 5 minute of sitting in the car twiddling your thumbs waiting for the kids to come out from a club you can say, pay the electrician on your phone.

I hate the phrase "life admin" - it's just "life"

Why? Life is made up of different activities - housework, paid work, leisure, hobbies, parenting etc etc. What's wrong with calling them what they are? If I said I had to spend an hour this afternoon doing some 'life', that would be unnecessarily vague.

Another idea Op - use Siri or Alexa to set you a timer, say 20 minutes then see how many things you can smash off the list.

Dentist appointments are a once every 6 months job. Ring up and book, takes 5 minutes
Or book the next appointment with reception as you are leaving the current appointment.

Tasks expand to fill the time available. Allocating yourself an admin day means you will spend a day doing admin.

Or you could say 'Wow, that admin only took me a couple of hours rather than the whole day I had set aside. Now I've got time to do something else!'

Nobody was saying they’re not ‘things.’ Just that they’re not a huge job that needs a title and a day dedicated to it. And you were the one making a big point that you’re paid for it so it’s obviously a ‘thing.’ I was making the point that lots of people are paid for the things that we just do normally everyday.

Tasks expand to fill the time available. Allocating yourself an admin day means you will spend a day doing admin.

Or, like me this morning, you allocate 5 mins to do a task (booking an ultrasound scan) and I was still hanging on to the phone 15 mins later, being kept on hold, listening to Vivaldi, bc there is so much demand, it takes ages to get through. And yes, I was folding laundry at the same time!

It's not life admin it's just life, all adults have to fit this sort of stuff in

Yes but it tends to be mothers who are often responsible for children's life admin too. I had a shed load of that to organise when my DC were at primary school and my DH was travelling all the time for his job.

Does anybody else on here actually like some of the admin around their children?

Getting ready to have my arse handed to me on a plate here, but…

I liked sorting out WBD and enjoying their excitement. I always volunteered for taxi duty with friends cos I love listening to them babble away about who scored the goal. I enjoy buying Brownie uniform because they look so cute and it reminds me of going myself. Mine are too old for spellings now, but I used to love practising them together.

None of that was “life admin” to me, it was being a parent - a hobby I chose!

Or just maybe look at a clock? Hilarious to think that everyone has Siri or Alexa spying on them 24/7.

I don't think you understand my point.

I wouldn't helping your child with maths is life admin.
Emailing a GP happens rarely. Roofer and windscreen wipers happen even less than that.

Some of your list is hardly onerous.
Sending flowers takes a couple of minutes.

Airport parking is rare and easily done online. Worming tablets is a quarterly job that is quite quick. Just an email or, quicker still, a phone call.

You sound as though you've allowed your list to pile up.

Much of it is easily sorted quickly.

Irrational hatred of certain MN phrases doesn't have to make sense, lol.

Yes, life is made up of different activities but a lot of the MN "life admin" is there because people have made lifestyle choices that mean they have loads of extra jobs to do. It's not 'admin' so much as "the work that comes along with having multiple children and pets".

I think a lot of people on this thread are underestimating how long things actually take to resolve fully. I have constant lists on the go.

As an example it took me three calls to actually get through to the opticians then I needed to resolve the issue (15 mins). I tried to cancel a service I no longer use - phone call was not good enough they need it in writing Transferring money - additional bank security checks and iffy wifi meant something that should've taken 5 minutes took 15.

The thing you are doing wrong is itemising, minuting and naming as admin the everyday tasks and trivia of everyday life. Get on with it. It's life.

I think there's three sorts of people, first sort who just ignore everything and it doesn't get done, second sort who just get it done around other jobs, third sort who write a list, put it off, label it and make a MN port about it...moan a bit more...it still doesn't get done 😉

I think it depends on what you're like as well. My DP is someone with a long list of things, he's always adding to it and doing all the things and looking for more and it seems exhausting to me. Whereas I do things as and when they need to be done. We both get on each others nerves with our different approaches 😆 but actually neither is wrong and things get done whoever it is is doing it. Just I don't feel like there's "loads to do" whereas he does. He was actually recommended by his CBT therapist to stop making actual lists as they were increasing his anxiety and he has found that helpful.