To not understand claims that life admin is 'not a thing'

[LabradorsInThePond]

I keep reading this on MN threads about organisation, time management etc. And that the life admin tasks of renewing insurances and checking mortgage rates can't take up that much time. But I spend a huge amount of time in the throes of life admin. We live a pretty normal, busy family life. I work 4 days in a professional role and can easily spend the 5th day (or at least half of it) in the throes of dreaded life admin.

My list tomorrow extends to twenty three separate items. None of which involve renewing insurances, but they do include buying clothing items (Scout shirt etc.), paying instrument hire, photocopying medical reports for school, booking airport parking, collecting worming tablets, booking a restaurant, buying zoo tickets, arranging a delivery of flowers for mum's birthday, an online grocery shop, buying a thank you gift, arranging a birthday party, booking a roofer, buying new windscreen wipers, emailing the GP, updating kids' Nimbl cards, finding a way to teach DS about dividing decimals, paying various people online etc.

None of these are yearly tasks, and next week there will be another 23 items to complete. It is relentless. DH does most of the house and long-term financial admin and he's also executing his father's too-complicated will, which makes my 23 items look like peanuts.

Do we just have an over-committed life, or does anyone one else find (what others consider non-existent) life admin burdensome and time-consuming? What am I doing wrong here?

YANBU. Definitely not! This stuff takes up a huge amount of time. I estimate I spend a minimum of 5 hours a week keeping up with life which I squeeze in around a full-time job. And I am always behind! Nothing can be done in 2-3 mins. Even a simple task like the weekly online shop is at least a 10 min job. Don't listen to the naysayers!

Oh give up, FFS. It's not a men/women thing, it's a lazy arse and 'mug' thing.

One of my closest friends is a lazy arse. Her DH does pretty much everything in their house - by my friend's own admission - despite her only working 3 days per week and him doing 50+ hours.

He must be absolutely stupid for putting up with it, but that's what he does.

Is that better, now I've blamed a man for being a mug?

I have no opinion on whether it’s a thing or not, I just want to say that the phrase “ life admin “ along with “ mental load “ makes me irritated beyond words.
Can’t explain why 🤷‍♀️

Oh god yes.

im self employed and my business life is doing admin and running folks businesses for them.

then I finish work and I have all the life admin stuff to deal with.

my eldest son (28) had a psychotic breakdown 5 years ago and I’ve been battling for help/support/treatment since so extra admin there. It’s a continuous cycle of care units/rental properties/getting sectioned/going missing/finding accommodation/battling services/chasing folks up and also dealing with him. He’s no insight into being ill (now paranoid schizophrenic and meds don’t work).

The life admin is getting me down and I’m now looking at a PA service that specialise in doing it all for folks. Hell yes.

I also can't 'sort things throughout the day'. Phone calls are particularly tricky - I'm currently on a train, so bits of googling, when I don't lose my connection, can be done, but I draw the line at phoning people from a rush hour train. On hold to the DWP (disabled adult DC) and then giving a lot of personal details - not in public!

I’d love to know where all these GP surgeries are where it only takes a couple of minutes to make an appointment!

I got a letter through on Saturday 15/5 asking me to phone and make an appointment for dc4 vaccinations. Surgery isn’t open on Saturdays so couldn’t deal with it there and then. Waited til after 11 on the Monday as they request for non same day appointments, hit redial 14 times (whilst getting on with other stuff) before I even got anything other than an engaged tone. Was no9 in the queue, carried on doing a few bits with the call on loudspeaker then had to do the school run. When I got to preschool I was number 2 in the queue but had to hang up as not allowed phones in there.

Tuesday dc3 had earache, this is a recurrent problem that often requires antibiotics. Got on the phone at 8 when lines open, hit redial 13 times then joined the queue and got to the front fairly quickly. No appointments left but we’ll ask a doctor to call you. Ok thanks, can I book dc4 vaccinations while I’m on the phone? No you will have to phone after 11.

Phone back at just gone 11, straight into the queue, booking screen is down they’ll have to phone me back with an appointment. Ok can I request dc1 repeat prescription while I’m on the phone? No we don’t do prescription requests over the phone, you need to come in and fill in a form.

GP phones back late afternoon, they want to see dc3, make an appointment for Wednesday morning. Phone school to tell them dc3 will be late in due to gp appointment.

Take dc3 to appointment, fill in prescription request while I’m there, make dc4 vaccination appointment. Can they send prescription direct to pharmacy? No they don’t do that for under 18’s, I’ll need to pick it up from surgery.

GP rings me Thursday , they can’t do prescription because it was originally from CAMHS. I say I have a letter telling me to get repeat prescription from GP and a copy of the letter they sent to GP asking them to fulfil repeat prescription requests, suggest I email it to them? No I have to take in the original letter and fill in another prescription request with the letter attached. Another 40 min round trip to surgery.

Monday late afternoon the surgery rings to say the prescription is ready. Go to pick it up and take it to pharmacy. Pharmacy doesn’t have one of the medications in stock but they’ll have some by lunchtime on Tuesday. Pharmacist queries the prescription as they’ve only requested 14 days supply whereas CAMHS always requested 60 days. You have to request repeat prescriptions at least 7 days in advance so I’ll be requesting it again next week, hopefully it won’t be such a faff!

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday have been spent calling the dentist 58(!) times and failing to get through at all 🤦🏻‍♀️ and the optician 5 times before getting through and then having to make 4 separate appointments because they couldn’t fit us all in at once!

Obviously this hasn’t been all I have been doing and it doesn’t take long to keep hitting redial but it really isn’t just as simple as picking up the phone and making an appointment a few minutes later!

Online food shop isn’t too bad as I add stuff to basket as I run out of it and buy a lot of the same basics each week but I still need 20/30 minutes to finalise it and double check I have everything I need for the week.

school letters etc are generally fine but not everything can be actioned immediately or require a few extra arrangements to be put in place before you can confirm.

I make do do all the insurance type stuff, hire cars, airport transfers etc because I’d just do it the most simple way or at least only spend a bit of time comparing but he insists on comparing everything to get the absolute best deal

Yes lots of stuff that takes time. I’m trying to sort wedding dress alterations and embassy admin today, whilst toddler around feet as all only available by phone mon-thurs, 9-1pm.

however yes lots of things I streamline. I have to sit in 2 year olds room most nights whilst he falls asleep, that’s often when I do emails, look up stuff, book, order things

This is it though, isn't it? If work from home or you've got a job with your own office or actually get a lunch break.

It's not so easy if you're a nurse on a ward or working out in the community or another multitude of jobs.

TheCatterall I'm really sorry about your son; that sounds really hard

No I won't "give it up ffs" thank you SofiaSoFar, of course it's a man v woman thing! Your "friend" (although personally I wouldn't call any friend of mine a lazy arse) may be an exception but you obviously haven't read the thousands of threads on here about men who do not pick up the slack. I don't blame women for that either.

Anyone who thinks life admin is not a thing has clearly never lived overseas as a foreign national...

But I have to admit it really confuses me when people make choices that are bound to lead to having a busy, hectic and stressful life and then complain about it - I just don't get it

So you've never complained about the consequences of something you chose? Never found something harder than you thought you would? Never thought, "this doesn't need to be this hard" about certain tasks?

You must be saintly.

I feel like I'm drowing in life admin. I am envious of people who have the sort of job where their breaks are their own. I'm a teacher and have no such luxury. And since having kids I'm always rushing out the door so take home lots of work admin too. I have tomorrow off and need to book travel insurance, ring the vets, go the chemist, do the laundry, order a birthay present, do an online food shop, try to think of interesting and healthy meals thst everyone with their various fussy/food intollerences will eat before I do the food shop, empty the bins and put the recycling out, put away the wetsuits drying in the bathroom, fill out some forms for work, mark some assessments, enter that data, delete the one billion emails I got this week, try to find my glasses prescription because I lost my new glasses, book the cattery....and so on. I feel your pain op!

It is a sad day when parents categorise supporting their child with their homework as "life admin".

Will feeding, bathing, reading to them at bedtime come under "life admin" soon too.

How much of these tasks do you do online.

I get it's a bit of a pfaff to set up the account details, but once it's set up, payment takes very little time.

Birthday cards: spend the time setting addresses on an online card site. I use Moonpig.com, other sites are available. First year, do it as and when. You can set reminders for when required. Set up the message you want to send and then you just need to change the 'dear x' part for each card. Sending a card is very quick

In the quiet time over the Christmas holidays, I now set up cards for everyone I send to in advance, and set the date I want them to be sent. I pretty much chose the same front page for everyone.

Make a favourites list for your own line shopping. Order the same basics every week and just adjust a few things.

Take my cue from President Obama who put some effort into minimising the decisions he needed to make each day, to save his energy for the big tasks. Almost All his suits were the same, no need to pick which one to wear.

Online booking restaurant. All of it.

Frees up time to do the stuff you want to do. I'm sure no one wants to spend a day a week doing life admin. Streamline the other bits and Fred up time for the things you enjoy.

One thing about life admin is that on one else is controlling the time it takes up. Only you. Do minimise the effort and after an initial hump things will run much more smoothly with much less input from yourself.

Helping DC or whatever you enjoy.

Good luck.

5 hours a week?!!!
See this is what I don’t get.
Sure there are people who have chemotherapy to manage, and somebody mentioned being an expat.
But those of us with just “ordinary life” - how do spend 5 hours a week on admin? I just can’t understand what you’d be doing for 5 hours every week 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's not the thing you make it. I do the things as they come up not all in one day, especially stuff like book a table.

@WonderingWanda “try to think of interesting and healthy meals thst everyone with their various fussy/food intollerences will eat before I do the food shop”

I never understand this kind of comment. You’re not thinking up 7 new interesting and healthy and fussy/intolerant meals a week.
Meal plan 14 days (or 7, but let’s say 14) and keep repeating. Every now and then add in something new, if you like. But it really doesn’t have to be time consuming.

I’m having fish stew tonight. No mental load at all, we know (a) what goes in it and that it’s yummy and healthy and (b) we know which child will have a plain cod fillet from the freezer instead, plus potato waffle (shoot me) and a heap of veggies. Same as they always have when we do fish stew, which they hate.

I do the majority of the sort of things you've listed in your OP when sitting on my phone watching TV of an evening. The main problem areas are if I have to phone anyone or any dealings with the NHS. Been chasing an urgent prescription for a week and once it was sent the pharmacy didn't have it in stock 😬

Why are so many people scoffing at the OP's (and others') opinion that "life admin is hard?" I mean, it clearly is, for her, and many others (whether you call it "life admin" "life" or "stuff I need to remember to do"). Some people's lives require more "admin" than others, and, yeah, sometimes it's a choice, sometimes it isn't. Sometimes (many) the admin is more than you thought it would be (like with having children). As another pp pointed out, brains are different too, whether it's ADHD or just a less organised mind. The scornful pps should thank their lucky stars that they don't find it difficult, and (as some have) maybe pass on their tips. The mean-spirited way some people have replied tells me who I'd rather have as a friend, even if I had to listen to them occasionally moan!

Also booking a table can be easy, but not if you have to factor in 3-4 people's preferences and availability!

I don’t really get like admin, or understand how it takes people more than a couple of minutes here and there. My son does ballet and rugby, swimming lessons as well, three holidays this year, going through adoption so the odd bit of paperwork etc there. I play rugby, I run rugby tots, my husband is a cyclist and does events, he also does baby sensory with our daughter and heartbeeps.

A lot of the stuff you list I would not class as 'life admin' but just life.

Booking restaurants and zoo tickets and buying gifts, clothes etc are all just part of living and enjoying life.

Saying that 'buying clothes' is life admin is silly. Yes it's important, but that's like saying everything we do to look after ourselves that isn't just leisure time is 'life admin'.

Cooking, exercise, personal care etc, are they all life admin too? If so it would make up 80% of my free time!

I class 'life admin' as the really boring stuff like paying bills. It definitely doesn't take half a day a week. More like an hour a week and it's fine.

Agree with this. I refuse to spend ages thinking up interesting meals for 8yo DS, it's his choice to be a fussy eater so he can eat chicken nuggets or pasta if he doesn't like what I'm cooking and that's that.

Dividing decimals:

Multiply first to eliminate the decimals.

So 5.5 ÷ 0.5 is the same as 55÷5

2.74 ÷ 0.02 is the same as 274÷2

Regardless of when it's done - whether on a day off or while the kettle boils or on the train - these tings add up. They take up a huge amount of my brain space having to remember to do them, list them out, execute and then follow up (if needed) and then remember them the next time they are needed. I am with you OP. It's a massive mountain that somehow falls on women to sort. In addition I also manage the family finances, funds, remortgages etc. it never ends!

Only recently my DH has agreed to take over holidays. It's last minute/not the best deal/more money - I don't care anymore. I just need a holiday booked by someone else.