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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Let down after buying ed sheeran tickets for family

100 replies

lonelylou09 · 25/05/2022 22:52

Aibu to be massively annoyed at being let down just 2 weeks before the concert when i booked and paid for the tickets in September last year?
Basically i live 200 miles away from all my family and normally only see any of them 2/3 a year when i visit. I always stay with a certain relative that im very close with and last year she had a horrible time when her abusive husband left her for someone else which i did my best to help her through.
So as a treat and to cheer us both up i booked the tickets near her so we could have a really nice girls day out and something to look forward to. I booked time off work (unpaid) so i could travel up and spend time with her and her 2 dds, as well as catch up with other family.

She was working when i booked the tickets so i checked with her first and said Book it off work now.
She then got the sack and has been out of work since.
We spoke last week and discussed plans and the concert ect..all good.

Today she messaged me shes got her old job back, starts this weekend and wont be able to get the night off... Can i take someone else with me?

I said just tell them you cant work that day.... But shes just saying she probably cant as thats why she got the sack before.
It also means ive now got no where to stay as if shes working she will have to have her sister stay over to have the 2dd so no room for me.

So im now not sure what to do now.
Probably try to sell the tickets and cancel my holiday as well

Am i being unreasonable or is she being ungrateful?

OP posts:

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 26/05/2022 09:25

Just put the tickets up on Twickets asap

toastedbagiel · 26/05/2022 09:28

lonelylou09 · 25/05/2022 23:31

@toastedbagiel its not just that.. She also left me with no where to stay if shes not going and not even mentioned that. I was travelling 200 miles to take her.. Its not like i can just take someone else.
I guess id just like her to say.. Im going to do my best to get the night off as this was booked 10 months ago.. Rather than.. Oh i might ask but i know they will say no

I think she needs to start off on the right foot and asking for time off for a concert really isn't it. It's not about you, it's not a slight against you, it's just really unfortunate. I would be pleased that someone I had supported through a bad break up was getting back on their feet though.

Daenerys77 · 26/05/2022 09:41

Your relative's circumstances have changed. Work has to take priority, for most of us. And you don't seem to like her very much anyway, so why not take someone else?

Also, where there is a concert hall, there will be hotels.

SleeplessInEngland · 26/05/2022 09:44

One of the most obvious YABU's I've seen in a while. Only a demented person would think she has to rist her job for an Ed fucking Sheeran gig.

10HailMarys · 26/05/2022 09:52

I can absolutely see why you're disappointed, but I can also see why your relative is prioritising her return to her job, given that she's been out of work. If she was sacked before for having to take time off, she has presumably had to convince her employer that she deserves a second chance and isn't going to keep pulling out of shifts. Plus, if they've asked her to start this weekend, I suspect that's because they need someone who can definitely cover those nights.

I do see why it's annoying for you, but I'm pretty sure you could sell the tickets if it's not practical for you to go with someone else.

ValerieCupcake · 26/05/2022 09:56

I would just go myself and try and sell the other ticket. Book a Travelodge or something cheap and have time out in wherever the concert is.

I once went to a concert and there was a bloke outside asking people in the street if they wanted to go in with him as his mate had let him down!

InPraiseOfBacchus · 26/05/2022 10:02

OP, do you work full time? You sound very naive about how jobs function.

Unless you're unusually lucky to have a strong tenure and an extremely good relationship with your management, just telling them you "can't come in because of a prior engagement" in your first month is just not done. Even if a boss agreed it after some wheedling, pulling that kind of stunt has the potential to affect your professional reputation and job security for a long time.

Stath · 26/05/2022 10:22

Just looked on Booking.com.

There’s this available about 1km away and for £63?
www.booking.com/Share-ZZiDtF

ShandaLear · 26/05/2022 10:24

I’d rather work than go to an Ed Sheeran concert, to be fair.

the80sweregreat · 26/05/2022 10:29

Can you find someone else to go with ?
Employers won't let her have a day off as she has just started there
It is inconvenient, but jobs are not that easy to find or work around once your there
You could try and resell the ticket ? My Dh did this with some tickets online and it worked ! I was amazed we got the money back. I can imagine that it may be snapped up

Tigofigo · 26/05/2022 10:31

Could you take the sister and DDs to the gig instead, you could then put the DDs to bed and sleep there and sister could go back home.

Tigofigo · 26/05/2022 10:32

Presuming the sister and DDs are your relatives too albeit perhaps not so close!

MsBungle · 26/05/2022 10:33

It's really sweet of you to have got the tickets but work's got to come first.

purplecorkheart · 26/05/2022 10:35

Of course she has to put her job first. It is not like she is starting in a new job where she can say she has a prior engagement. She is being taken on by a employer where she was previously sacked (quite possibly due to work attendance).

You mention that she will not have space to put you up. Has she actually said that. Could you not sleep on the sofa or in a sleeping bag on the floor. It is only for one night. Is one of your relatives dd old enough to go with you?

Intrigueddotcom · 26/05/2022 10:37

She got the sack
now for the job back

of course she couldn’t start throwing around what day she could or couldn’t start!

Bigger picture op is your friend has had a bloody awful time and this is something to celebrate

do Not poss on her parade

Intrigueddotcom · 26/05/2022 10:38

Piss

Intrigueddotcom · 26/05/2022 10:39

Has she said that you can’t stay? Or you don’t want to because cramped?

TheDogsMother · 26/05/2022 10:47

That was a lovely gesture on your part OP and I'm sorry its backfired but I do get that her job needs to come first. Can you list the tickets for sale or take another friend and go halves on cheap accommodation somewhere relatively within reach ? Not ideal with the 200 mile trip I know but I think you just have to put it down to experience.

Laiste · 26/05/2022 10:50

Jenasaurus · 26/05/2022 01:25

Is it Manchester, 10th June, I may have someone interested in buying them if it is.

YANBU to be disappointed.

But she is NBU to not want to risk specifying this and that date as not available to work the second she's secured her job back.

I'd sofa surf for one night at hers one night and sell the spare ticket.

Hopefully OP spotted the above post.

ninnynonny · 26/05/2022 10:56

VickyGervais · 25/05/2022 23:31

That’s rubbish. I think she should have at least tried to get the night off but maybe she just wanted to secure the job. Still shot for you though. As for having nowhere to stay, could you not just sleep on her sofa or something if you could find someone else to go with?

I’ve seen Ed in concert a few time’s and will be seeing him next month, I wouldn’t miss it, I’d find a way to go. He’s definitely worth a night on a sofa for. 😉

Nothing to add to the thread, just furious you got that username first! Saw Supernature in London😄

savethatkitty · 26/05/2022 10:57

You're relationship isn't as close as you think it is, sorry.

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind1 · 26/05/2022 11:04

Go on your own and drive straight home after, I did it from Glasgow to Manchester and back earlier this year for George Ezra

Crocsandshocks · 26/05/2022 11:09

No good deed goes unpunished. Perhaps sell the tickets and try and see him closer to home. I think she probably couod have negotiated the time off, but who knows. People are unreliable as I learned a long time ago. It's why I often go to these things alone. Where js the ticket for out of interest? Anywhere in Wales?

Laiste · 26/05/2022 11:50

@Crocsandshocks · People are unreliable as I learned a long time ago.

This is true. I've learned the same over the years.

You are very lucky if you have a person or people in your life who can and will always happily give back just as much as you give to them. In time and effort.

(I'm not talking about DCs. We don't want them feeling obligation. I'm talking about partners/siblings/friends.)

You learn in the end to never give more than you're happy to give without any return at all.

That way you're never left disappointed or let down or left out of pocket.

My DH is a diamond who gives more than he takes. My best mate is a lovely woman - but she's more of a taker than a giver. I've noted it. I accept it. I behave accordingly and we rub along just fine. We really enjoy each other's company. She just wouldn't be top of my list in a dire emergency 😂

ValerieCupcake · 26/05/2022 11:59