"Have a good eve"

[Newusername101]

NC

When friends end a message with "have a good evening" do you see this as them saying in not so many words "I don't want to message you anymore tonight" or do you read "have a good eve" differently.

I take it to be a signal that we’ve had a bit of to and fro chit chat but they’re just making the point they’ve got to get on with stuff (or just want to relax, whatever!) and the conversation is over. I do it too, I think it’s fine.

No, it's not rude at all.

Not everyone wants to spend ages messaging with you. People have lives and don't want to spend all evening staring at a pinging phone, so they need to end the conversation one way or another and a polite 'Have a good evening' at the end of their last message is a perfectly reasonable way of doing so. Would you rather they just ignored you? Or made up some kind of lie about why they couldn't talk? Or just said 'Jeez, leave me the hell alone, I'm trying to read a book/watch a film/play X Box/relax with a G&T and you're being way too bloody needy?'

Yes ! I think it's a little bit rude tbh

Those who think it's rude, why?

Is it the ending the conversation or the choice of language?

And if the ending of a conversation then how do you end conversations?

Tbh depending on context I could see how it might feel like a bit of a brush-off

No, not in the slightest. What I see as a bit rude is me texting something along the lines of 'Ok, I'm off to bed now, [sleepy emoji], sleep tight!' and them still texting me back several times, I know quite a few people who do that. Not just an 'ok, night night' type reply, but actually carrying on the conversation.

No, rude would be saying "fuck off now, I'm trying to watch Gardener's World".

Yes, it's a sign off for the night.

What should they have done OP? Carried on answering ur messages even though they'd had enough? You're not entitled to their time.

I certainly don't see it as rude, people constantly texting you is intrusive, and some don't take the hint!

I think it's a polite way to end a conversation and the alternative is just not to reply (and people that don't get the hint will also be offended by)

How would you like someone to indicate they are done texting now?

If it is first reply then possibly a bit rude. If at the end of a text conversation if 3-4 messages I can't see any problem.

Also similar to 'well I better let you go' when you are on the phone

I think for most people its perfectly normal at the end of a conversation!

I generally wouldn’t do it abruptly without other signals that the conversation is ending or the text a one-off, that could probably be a bit rude, but if I needed to go I would say something like “lovely to talk, sorry must dash off to cook dinner/ eat/bath child/ walk dog” etc. But I also presume that other people are busy so it’s nice to wish them well and let them go.

There’s always going to be people who use it a bit rudely it though, and I can see someone might do it to try to prevent endless texting when they are busy or tired and the other person doesn’t pick up on their hints. That’s assertive, maybe verging rude.

Leaving conversations open was more a thing when I was young and single with single friends and we were all bored and definitely not doing housework or sleeping. My texts are quite formal though I suppose.

No there’s an end point where they are probably going to bed/doing other things? What’s the alternative would you rather them just stop replying??

Is see it as the end of the conversation.

Not rude at all.
I hate modern communication because we feel like we have to be in touch with people all the time. Just because we have the ability to be in touch at our fingertips doesn't mean we have to be.
I would very much like to switch my phone off at, say, dinner time for the rest of the evening. But people do pass comment on it - my parents and my friends - and expect replies.
I hate the fact we're expected to be available 24/7 now. Bring back the 90s.

God, I get that too. Once I’ve sent the sleeping emoji or an X I’m done and don’t reply to any further texts.

It’s not rude at all, it’s just a polite way of ending a conversation.

See, I think this is much more normal!

Thanks for the replies is soooo pass-agg! Telling someone you know well to do one because your want to watch telly is far more natural.

Not at all rude. I've only had to use this once so I'd take the message that you're probably being a bit full on.

The alternative is that they don't respond to any further messages which I expect you'd also find rude.
They are diplomatically letting you know they're busy/going to bed/ don't want to talk anymore.

Does anyone else hate the way every phrase, emoji etc is analysed and second-guessed?
I can't cope with trying to read everyone's hidden messages.

YABVU.