I don’t care if this identifies me, I’m so beyond sick of her. She is 2 years younger than me and has always been hard work. She put my parents through absolute hell as a teenager (drugs, a termination, casual sex with older lads) and her behaviour triggered depression for my mum, which she never really recovered from. I think my sister has a narcissistic personality disorder.
She got married at 21 to a lad who came from money. They’d been together 2 years and they’d met at uni. My parents were quite happy as they thought she’d settle down. They gave her £15,000 (which was more than half of their savings) toward a house deposit to buy with her husband. I resented not getting any money at the time but I was travelling around the world at the time and was partying in Australia living in a flatshare with friends, so I just assumed they’d give me a bit if I ever came to buy (never got round to it though). Her husband also got a huge lump sum from his parents and they bought a gorgeous property. It really was lovely. Semi detached, huge and in a lovely leafy area.
Despite having a degree she’s never had a proper job. She was married as soon as she finished uni and then was living with her husband and was soon pregnant. She had baby girl and then another baby girl just over a year later in quick succession. She was living the dream and even had an au pair, cleaner etc. Lovely car. Her husband had a well paying job. When her children were both in primary school (private, and her in-laws paid half of the school fees for them) she opened up a baking business and let a shop. It went under after a few months and she had the audacity to beg my parents for a bail out because she didn’t want to take a loan. They gave her £8000. I’d still not seen any money from them. They were scared she’d go off the rails because of her erratic personality.
Her business managed a bit longer after that but after a few months she had to close it. For years after that she just did nothing. She is high maintenance and always had her hair/nails/face done. Whenever we saw them she was vile to her husband and always shouting at him.
4 years ago her and her husband ended up divorcing, he left her and she was distraught. Their kids were 9 and 11 at the time. She took them off to Florida for 3 weeks, me, mum, dad and her ex-husband thought it was genuinely just a holiday. Then while she was there she posted tons of pictures of her and the kids with some random man. We found out she’d met him online just after the divorce and had gone over to meet him. Her ex husband was incensed that she’d taken the children to meet him.
She came back from this trip pregnant, (‘accidentally’) which surprised none of us. Pre-divorce she’d been talking about wanting to move to America and her ex-husband didn’t want to, which is partly why he left her. We all believe it was intentional. Cue her then declaring she was moving over there. Her ex husband took steps to prevent her taking their children (who didn’t want to go). She had the baby in the UK. She had the nerve to ask my parents to contribute some money for her to give birth in a private hospital in London (where she’d had her older 2, on her ex husband’s/in-laws money), and I made sure they said no because it was fucking ridiculous. My mum was consdering it though. The poor thing had to settle for giving birth in an NHS hospital and we never heard the end of it. She withheld the baby from my mum who was desperate to meet her for ages and said it was because she was annoyed over them not paying for her to give birth at the private hospital and she felt ‘let down’.
She went back to the US for a few weeks not long after the birth with the baby and married the father (this was only their 3rd time ever meeting).
After more drama over her 2 older kids not wanting to go and her ex not letting her take them, she has now decided she’s going to leave them and move to America permanently with her youngest daughter. She’d have gone earlier if not for Covid. She’s leaving my older 2 nieces with their dad. Both of her older girls have been completely messed up by her behaviour. One of the girls hates her and can’t wait to see the back of her whereas the other one is absolutely distraught and has been begging her not to go (to no avail).
The younger one also begged to go with her (she didn’t initially want to go, she was just distraught at the idea of not having her mum) and her response was “I can’t take you because of your dad.” These poor girls are really suffering. They also both hate her husband and are resentful of their youngest sister. I have become quite close to them in recent months. Though my sister hasn’t actually gone yet they’ve already moved in with their dad and she barely sees them. Her excuse is “they both hate me”. I wonder why? But I opened up a line of communication with her ex husband and said if he ever needed support with them then let me know, and I’ve been spending time with them. I wouldn’t say as a ‘mother’ figure but as a female figure for personal things maybe they don’t want to talk to their dad about.
My mum wants to throw her a leaving do, and I’ve said I’m not going. She was upset after hearing sister’s ex husband wouldn’t be bringing the kids to the leaving do and when I said I was on his side she had a huge go at me and has accused me of being jealous. My mum is now not speaking to me. I can’t even feel angry at my mum, I think my sister has just completed broken her spirit.
My AIBU is am I in the wrong to be completely disowning her, I’d go as far as to say I hate her. I’m worried sick for her youngest daughter as well. Her new husband isn’t a particularly upstanding citizen. I don’t really have a reason to post but I just need to vent. I have a husband and young children of my own but he is sick of listening to me vent about her.