My friend reported me for benefit fraud....

[thisismymomentwithu]

Me and my friend "Ana" have been friends for 10 years now,a couple of times I've backed away from her as she did some pretty crappy things (accused ex of hitting her to stop his access but told me it was a lie and many other things ) stupidly I always start hanging out with her and ignoring my better judgement.
I work full time but get help with UC since I split with my partner and my wage isn't great.
When my grandma passed I was left £4,500 and I put it away for when I needed anything.
I always got on well with "Ana's" friends and struck up a friendship with a couple of girls due to our kids being the same age and having similar interests.
Ana wasn't happy and we ended up falling out and our friendship was over (her choice )
After a few months my new friends stopped wanting to meet up as usual,I had a feeling it was because of Ana but didn't want to ask them.
In the mean time I received a letter for a compliance interview.
Attending this interview (via phone call ) I was informed someone reported me for having my ex living with me and working a cash in hand job (neither are true ) and they told me they received a Anon tip off and told me the date (the same day Ana blocked me on everything)
It was all sorted out and no action taken as they realised it wasn't true.
Fast forward two months later and speaking via text to one of my new friends and she kept saying
"Well the people who fleece the system will be getting found out soon and in trouble"
"Has your ex moved back in? Thought I seen him leaving home one morning"
Then she said something about my benefit claim that she must have been told by "Ana "
Lightbulb moment ...it was deffo Ana but my other friends knew and believed her.
I've stopped speaking with everyone now but I'm gutted.

Why wasn't she satisfied with falsely reporting me ..why did she also tell our mutual friends I was doing something she knew I wasn't?
I'm so embarrassed
My kids are in these girls classes at school

Then really, they are no loss to you. They weren’t worth their salt as friends. That they would ditch you on someone else’s say so, tells you so. They’re not worth your free time.

Who the hell falls out with a friend over benefit fraud anyway?! What a bunch of muppets.

I agree that they drop enough hints that it's possible to work out who did it. A neighbour where i used to live was very upset by a report made about her. She was upset imagining all the people she believed were authentic might be only pretending to think well of her. The woman who "cleared" her in the end after weeks of investigation made a remark "you're a good mother to five children and that mightnt sound possible to a mother struggling with fewer children" and consciously or unconsciously the social work had given away who had made the report.

Just eliminate these toxic people from your life and move on. When you pick your children up from school hold your head up high safe in the knowledge you did nothing wrong. Don’t play their game by reacting. That’s what they want.
Secondly if the “new” friends have now abandoned you after believing her lies then pity them. Because sooner or later it sounds like they’ll get stung by this Ana too, let them learn the hard way!
surround yourself with genuine people

This is a really good message to send to these people to clear your name. I'd block them following and not have anything further to do with them.

Did you really think she was a good person? No you knew she was a bitch, she's happy to attempt to put people in prison over lies.

Your mistake to be friends with her again. Try not to make the same mistake for the nth time.

I would have gone to town with it!!!

”yes, can’t stand people who try to wrongly fleece the system, makes you wonder about peoples moral compass doesn’t it?. Talking of benefit fraud, I was maliciously accused of it, due to time, resources and admin spent on the case to find out it was a wrongful accusation it’s been passed to the police to investigate…so I imagine whosever done that will be hearing from them soon. Can’t think who it would have been though”

let them squirm!

Just dump them all. You are better than that. Rise above it. X

Yes I think it was jealousy over inheritance. I recently inherited 5k from a relative. Huge surprise (I’m not on any benefits) but I only told my husband because had my grown up children (who are vile to me) knew about it they’d be like flies round poop!

She's no friend to anyone and neither are those who believe her. So you're better off away from her. It must be isolating though initially and it's very depressing to think that she's such a bitter person to do this.

That's terrible! I'm really sorry. She sounds psychopathic - accusing ex of hitting her to deny access and falsely reporting you to UC are shocking!

I would try to defend yourself and shine a light on her. Perhaps message friends something like.. Someone has reported me to UC for inheritance (under 6k limit) among other things. All sorted now (there was no problem) but if you've any idea who it was please could you tell me. I'd like to clear up misunderstanding.

Sound as nice as you can and keep taking that approach. At least that way your story's out there. It's highly likely she will turn on these new friends at some point too and then your message will resonate.

Other than that I'd suggest you keep your DD at her school if she's happy. Be friendly and polite to these mums but definitely look for new friends. And don't be lured back into friendship with other mum. She is a loose cannon.

@Bunnyfuller

What are you banging on about?
The irrelevant £4.5k has been explained many times.

Care to shed light on your mystifyingly bitchy statement calling the OP "desperately chaotic"?

I'm bewildered as to where you think you got that from.

Did you just see "single mum" + "benefits" = "chaotic lifestyle" -
are you really that small minded & bigoted?

This! You need to defend yourself

Why chaotic exactly - nothing in the OP suggests that ? And £4.5k does not need to be reported to UC unless it takes you over the savings threshold of £6000, so no lack of knowledge there either. The allegations were exactly as you say - malicious.

Yes I would have that thought but actually with these immature types it would just feed the lie and turn it into a gossip vehicle, drawing others in. Silence and distance is the best way to deal with these pathetic parents. Remember they will be revealing themselves as such to others as well. Leave them to it.

What do you mean by is your knowledge lacking?

What knowledge re 4,500 inheritance being under the 6,000 allowed in savings before UC takes it into consideration do you think the OP lacks?

Why does her life sound desperately chaotic?

Very interesting interpretation there.

I don't think my life is particularly chaotic.
I have a job I love but unfortunately doesn't pay too good (airline check in)
My Uc I do actually receive is under £300 a month as it's just a top up after my wages.
I enquired regarding the inheritance and was told it didn't affect anything as it's under £6,000

Also if your thinking single parent =chaotic
That's very wrong,me and ex were together 15 years but grew apart.
Everything amicable and we get on fine and he's a great day.

*dad

@thisismymomentwithu Unfortunately, people like @Bunnyfuller see people like you & I who have found themselves unintentionally lone parents who need a helping hand from UC (as a direct result of the aforementioned unintended lone parenting) as automatically being 'chaotic' (see also 'terrible parent, drinks loads, smokes weed, has flat screen tv, gets false nails & lashes every week' etc etc)

I became a lone parent due to becoming widowed and I've been accused of every single one of the above stereotypes

Badly worded - your friend situation sounds desperately chaotic. None of them sound very nice or supportive.@thisismymomentwithu @SlatsandFlaps

i am not even vaguely interested in the personal situation.

I wasn’t aware of the rules around own savings which is why I asked.

questions aren’t an attack, they’re just questions.

What a mean girl - she’s jeAlous - avoid xxx

I would 100% be asking the 'friend' who mentioned ex leaving and fleecing the system if it was her first.
Then if I got nowhere a group message would be going out stating that a few of them had asked questions and that there has been an investigation and you are not guilty of 'fleecing' the system however you are disappointed to think it could be any of them.

I can relate to that. A lot has been projected on to me over the years when in fact, I took responsibility for my serious error of judgment and left to start again. I put my children first and got them settled in to school and various therapies/extra curriculars. Then when I got a job I went to work and came home and rinse, and repeat. I had a few people ( not the majority) determined to project on to me that I was stressed and chaotic. I certainly wasn't. So I 100% agree that there exists an appetite to look down on single mothers and blame them. I would have thought widows were protected from this, to a degree.

Once my friend, a good friend to be honest, was telling me about a faux pas she'd made where she assumed a widow was a single parent and when she realised her mistake, she apologised profusely. I was a bit The narrative that being a single parent is WORSE than being a widow, ie, lower status is just really deeply entrenched and even my friend who is a good person bought in to that unquestioningly, so unquestioningly that she repeated it back to me!

I'm a far better parent to my two than my two married parents were to me, because I don't repress all of my emotions and label them when they have a reaction. My two married parents really fucked me up and I am about 10 years in to project UNfuck. Hopefully my DC won't have to go through this.