My friend reported me for benefit fraud....

[thisismymomentwithu]

Me and my friend "Ana" have been friends for 10 years now,a couple of times I've backed away from her as she did some pretty crappy things (accused ex of hitting her to stop his access but told me it was a lie and many other things ) stupidly I always start hanging out with her and ignoring my better judgement.
I work full time but get help with UC since I split with my partner and my wage isn't great.
When my grandma passed I was left £4,500 and I put it away for when I needed anything.
I always got on well with "Ana's" friends and struck up a friendship with a couple of girls due to our kids being the same age and having similar interests.
Ana wasn't happy and we ended up falling out and our friendship was over (her choice )
After a few months my new friends stopped wanting to meet up as usual,I had a feeling it was because of Ana but didn't want to ask them.
In the mean time I received a letter for a compliance interview.
Attending this interview (via phone call ) I was informed someone reported me for having my ex living with me and working a cash in hand job (neither are true ) and they told me they received a Anon tip off and told me the date (the same day Ana blocked me on everything)
It was all sorted out and no action taken as they realised it wasn't true.
Fast forward two months later and speaking via text to one of my new friends and she kept saying
"Well the people who fleece the system will be getting found out soon and in trouble"
"Has your ex moved back in? Thought I seen him leaving home one morning"
Then she said something about my benefit claim that she must have been told by "Ana "
Lightbulb moment ...it was deffo Ana but my other friends knew and believed her.
I've stopped speaking with everyone now but I'm gutted.

Why wasn't she satisfied with falsely reporting me ..why did she also tell our mutual friends I was doing something she knew I wasn't?
I'm so embarrassed
My kids are in these girls classes at school

Some people are batshit and some are vindictive with it. If you get any more unfounded allegations against you, I'd let whoever investigates know that you've been the victim of spurious reports before.

Some people revel in this form of harrassment, and will make one false allegation after another. There's a well known character locally who gets fixated by one family or household and will report them for anything from animal cruelty to noise nuisance, drinking and driving and indecent exposure. Thankfully, the police and council know about them and don't take any notice any more.

What’s the relevance of your inheritance?

What a horrible woman. This is why I keep our family finances completely hidden from friends. Jealousy is so common and can ruin friendships. Sorry that this happened to you.

It could be because of the inheritance that OP was reported, maybe jealousy? Or they think she shouldn't be receiving UC since she's had the inheritance

No point getting revenge as you'll just be as bad as her.

Drop it and hold your head up high and get some new friends.

Ana was jealous of your friendship with them so put a stop to it by telling lies about you. The other girls could have asked you for the truth but didn't.

You are better off without these women in your life.

Someone did the same to me. We hadn't even fell out but she 'thought' I was committing benefit fraud(I wasn't) so she reported me. I had a feeling I knew who it was but didn't ask outright but then she told the lady that ran our local baby group. Who I was good friends with and told me. I put her straight that I hadn't and just blocked my 'friend' 🤷🏻‍♀️ if she wants to be that horrible she's welcome but she's not getting a rise out of me.

I've stopped speaking with everyone now but I'm gutted.

I can't help feeling that you've played into their hands by not speaking to them. I understand why, but it shrieks that you're guilty, to people like them.

I'd absolutely defend myself against the accusations before I left the friendship group.

I’d shit them up and tell the friend “I was investigated for benefit fraud but they’ve thankfully they’ve now realised it was a malicious report. I hope it wasn’t you who said you thought you saw ex leaving my house, because they’re now investigating the malicious report and there’s going to be a police investigation in to it…”

She's the one who should be embarressed. Hold your head up high and dont let them pull you down to their level

^ Exactly.

I would HAVE to tell the new friends. Especially if our kids were friends, they could be talking in front of them. I would at least tell my side of the sotry that you were investigated and it was found out to be a false allegation.

Still wouldn't continue to be friends with them but they should hopefully be embarassed that they believed an outright liar...

Firstly, sorry you're going through this.

Secondly, you need to clear your name, there are some good responses up thread.

So you have nothing to lose. Text back and see what falls out of the woodwork. Seriously, you have nothing to lose bar the suspicion of some people, who might decide to dump her, through fear of being next if nothing else.

Yes, I heard all of that from SS when they came to talk to me. Someone made an anonymous report full of the same lies. It's despicable what some people will stoop to. SS are now investigating it as an malicious report, so they should find out who it was soon enough.

Did you get the outcome in writing? If you did how about sharing that?

It's funny as a few years ago I think an actual friend of mine 'did' or was suspected of committing benefit fraud (she actually then tried to accuse me and another best friend of impersonating her and we never did find out the truth).

People get so shocked and virtuous about this and love to be able to shop people when they're jealous. You've done nothing wrong and no you shouldn't take your kids out of the same school as the reporter.

I'd tell my side of the story and if they don't believe you and side with her then fuck them, they're not worth bothering with.

Oh and tell your new friends the truth with evidence if need be.

Because she is a nasty piece of work who loves melodrama & causing pain.

have been friends for 10 years now,a couple of times I've backed away from her as she did some pretty crappy things (accused ex of hitting her to stop his access but told me it was a lie and many other things ) stupidly I always start hanging out with her and ignoring my better judgement.

^^ This is who she is. No need to feel embarrassed OP. This is all Ana, not you.

PP upthread gave a perfect group message response, or as other PP suggested, you could just talk it through with one of the mutual friends.

Once they know the entire thing was down to Ana's malicious shitstirring, their response will tell you if you want to bother with the mutual pals again.

😂This is priceless. Wish I'd thought of it @SnottyLottie !

OP - this both clears your name & puts the shits up Ana.
Could it be more perfect?

You can then withdraw, & choose if you want to continue being friendly with any members of this group.

What a vile busybody. So sorry OP

She didn't even report me for the greater good,she did it because she clearly disliked me enough to do it.
I mentioned the inheritance because I booked a weekend away and that's how I could afford it ..not fleecing the system as she accused me of.
Im deffo very untrusting now.
I tell people nothing

Absolutely come out swinging on this. I agree the group whatsapp message to them all and explain what has happened, that they are welcome to ask you anything as what Ana told them was lies, but why she did that you have no idea.

Tell them that you are saddened that they thought you would do that. Tell them that you are hurt that they thought you would be the kind or person to cheat the system. then leave it to them.

Say your piece, you will feel better and mayby, just maybe the others will see that Ana is a grade a thunderunt and they will blank her to oblivion...

If you stay quiet, they will take that as an admission f guilt. Taking the high road here means that Ana's lies stick.

You knew what she was capable of.

You should hit back to clear your name. There's no reason to take this lying down.

That behaviour really doesn’t fall within the usual definition of friendship.